Tuco - First EP

[el_feo]

OOM: Once Upon a Time in New Mexico...

The door to the bar swings open, closely followed by a dusty boot-clad foot. From behind it strides a sweaty, filthy, red-faced man with a smug look on his face. He takes three loud, deliberate steps forward before his smile disappears.

"What kind of saloon puts a gunsmith's sign up front?"

Comments

[bornuntotrouble]

"The kind of saloon at the end of the universe."

The cowboy at the table near the entrance tips his hat.

"Welcome to Milliways, mister."

[el_feo]

"Or New Mexico," Tuco says. "They are the same thing."

But he doesn't have time for this. He has $100,000 in gold to collect - every second it waits is a second in which it can be stolen. He turns around and tugs at the door.

It won't budge. He tries pushing. Then he tries pulling again. When that fails, he begins swearing.

"Bastard son of a motherless..." he mutters. "Why won't this door open!?"

[bornuntotrouble]

Yeaaaah, John was afraid of that.

"Hey, easy there, mister," he says, getting up out of his seat. "Sorry to have to tell you this, but you're bound. You're stuck here 'til that door reappears. Now," he says, "why don't you take a seat, and I can tell you how this place works?"

[el_feo]

Tuco turns back and snarls. "What, and I'm supposed to just sit inside this cantina with my thumb up my culo until they decide to let me out?"

He shakes his head and scoffs. "No, no. That doesn't work for Tuco. Let me tell you what's going to happen instead. You tell me who has the key" - he pulls out his revolver - "...and I'll make him open it."

The gun isn't loaded. But that doesn't mean John knows that.

[bornuntotrouble]

"Whoa whoa whoa!"

Up go John's hands, mostly to calm Tuco. Sometimes you can get away with arguing with a man with a gun. Now is not one of those times.

"Now you listen here, mister. Landlord's got the key, but nobody's ever seen him. Now put the fucking gun down and I can explain everything."

[el_feo]

"The man owns the bar and nobody's seen him?"

Tuco snorts. "I really hope you don't think I'm that stupid, hombre. A town like this isn't big enough for a man to hide in."

[bornuntotrouble]

"Believe me, it is, tried lookin' for him myself. Now would you put the fucking gun down?"

[el_feo]

"Oh? Well, let's see if someone else has had more luck than you."

Tuco puts his thumb up against the hammer and takes a step forward. Then he turns his head toward the other patrons.

"Everybody listen to me! The man who owns this bar seems to think it's funny to lock everybody inside! I don't! And I would very much like to tell him that!

"But some people" - he gestures with his gun toward John - "don't want to tell me where I can go talk to him. And that makes me very, very mad. So here's what we'll do. One of you is going to tell me where the Landlord is..."

He clicks back the hammer.

"...and I won't blow this gringo's brains out."

[bornuntotrouble]

"Mister? You just made a big mistake."

[cutting_edgex23]

The attack on Tuco comes, not from the sides, but from the front.

And above.

X likes the rafters for a reason.

Plus, she can take a bullet no problem.

Just in case Tuco's reflexes are that good.

And if her strike at a particular pressure point lets his hand keep hold of the gun.

[el_feo]

"Oof!"

Tuco stumbles backward and falls, dropping his revolver. He rolls over, wheezing.

But he isn't so winded that he's going down without a fight.

"¡Puta!" he snarls as he lunges upward from the ground and delivers a wild, unbalanced swing at the figure in front of him.

[cutting_edgex23]

Unbalanced opponents are very useful for someone well-trained in aikido.

Which is why X takes advantage of Tuco's motion, hands grabbing his wrist and shoulder and using her leverage to toss him over her hip and back down onto the ground.

Now to immobilize him.

An arm-lock seems like it would come in handy.

Hmm.

[el_feo]

Tuco squirms and kicks as he tries to roll out of the hold X has him in.

"Let...lemme go!" he sputters.

[bornuntotrouble]

John lowers his hands.

"Toldja, mister."

[cutting_edgex23]

"Stop struggling."

X's voice is flat.

"You are not allowed to hurt people here. Threatening them is stupid, too."

She'll flick a glance at John in a second. Just to see if he has anything relevant to contribute.

Like a sit-rep.

[bornuntotrouble]

John nods by way of thanks. "I'm okay. Thank you kindly, miss...?"

[cutting_edgex23]

"X," X says. "Not miss. I am on Security."

She looks down at Tuco, then.

"You have not been told the rules? Here."

It is a little relevant.

Maybe.

[el_feo]

Tuco hasn't quite stopped squirming yet.

"If you don't...let go of me...I'll...urk...kill you! How's...that for a rule?"

[cutting_edgex23]

"I am very hard to kill," X says, matter-of-factly.

"And you cannot do it here. Or I will arrest you."

[el_feo]

"You lock me...gack...in here...and I'm the criminal!?"

He grunts. "I didn't even mean to come in this godforsaken dive!"

[cutting_edgex23]

"Irrelevant."

If he were less violent-seeming, X might even explain about being bound. As it is, only one thing is of primary importance at this moment.

"You are still not allowed to hurt anyone. Threatening is stupid, too."

[el_feo]

"You...don't know who you're dealing with!"

He's moving a bit more slowly now - it's starting to hurt. "Please! I've got money! I'll give you anything you want!"

[cutting_edgex23]

"That is also irrelevant."

Which part does she mean?

"There are three rules. Here. No violence. No sex downstairs. Or nudity. And no outside business."

Then, because she is not sure he will understand --

"That means grudges are not relevant here."

A pause.

"You will obey them. The rules."

She'll divest him of any weapons before letting him go and standing up.

"Or I will come back."

snikt

[el_feo]

"I don't give a damn about your rules! I have things I need to do, I'm not staying here, I -"

Tuco's eyes widen as the claws come out. "Uh...then again, I, uh...heh heh...suppose I can play it your way."

[cutting_edgex23]

"Not 'can'," X says, matter-of-factly.

"Will."

Negotiations happen to other people.