milliways_bar | (no subject)

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[oom: Guppy fails in his role as the fountain of all knowledge.]

Guppy makes it half way across the bar when he realises that a lot of the patrons are, well, kind of shorter and younger...

Hmmm.

He goes into the infirmary, and finds it as he left it (deducing from this that he has not gone back in time), except that one of his younger two (male) waitrats is attempting with limited success to feed a pair of tiny, eyes barely open half bald waitrats, still dressed in their now very oversized scrubs shirt.

"Aesclepius? Work Experience?" Guppy peers at the pair. The third waitrat, Backup, shrugs and hands him the syringe of milk.

"Wait, what happened?" he asks, but his remaining waitrat, tired by days of feeding every few hours, scurries off for a kip.

Five minutes later, he's got the two shrunk infirmary waitrats in a cardboard box on a warm towel, and is back in the bar looking for some answers.

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"Greetings, Guppy Sandhu."

Teja smells of the forge and looks truly weary.

"Hey Teja... you aren't small, good."

"Indeed," Teja says, "I was not here when the time-spell of the candy-coloured unicorns misfired."

"The candy coloured... wait, explain." Guppy says.

"Ponies," Teja says. "They call themselves ponies, and mangle the language to say 'anypony' instead of 'anybody', and such things. Have you never met one?"

Pause.

"They are the reason why some are small at present, including your poor rats."

"Oh, yes, I have met the ponies. We will be having Words." Guppy says.

"Hm, I wonder why it only affected two of them though."

"I hear it was something of a magenta-coloured shockwave," Teja says, "that only touched those in its physical vicinity at that point. The other rat must have been too far away."

Pause.

"The ponies are shocked, as it is; they are small themselves, and tell me that unless they reverse the spell, which they do not at present know how to, everybody would have to grow up again naturally. I do not wish to see the bar turned into an interdimensional boarding school for the next few years."

"Surely we have enough magic users that someone isn't affected? What about Mia Ausa?"

"I have not seen her," Teja says. "The ponies have put up a notice, and are working on a solution in the library; but I have no mages to send to them. I know not if any of our gods has enough power to do this by divine handwave. Belar might have had; Asar-Suti might have had -- but they are gone."

"Hm, our magical fellows are outnumbered by an influx of psychiatrists and French people." Guppy muses.

"They'll work it out. I'll have a look in the infirmary library."

Teja hides his face in his hands and hair, and groans.

"On the plus side." Guppy says. "If we can't undo it, the psychiatrists may come in handy."

Beat. Glance around the room.

"Oh bugger, if they're both shrunk too. Assuming that's Hannibal rather than an alternate version of Sam Linnfer."

"I do think the young man at the harpsichord is Hannibal Lecter," Teja says. "Why should he be an alternate version of Sam Linnfer: - what makes them similar?"

Pause.

"And who is the other psychiatrist?"

"Fluffy hair. And Charles Xavier, well he's not an official one, but he's on the team."

"Yes, he is the little boy who just spoke with you a moment ago," Teja says. "Even younger than Hannibal. So, you are by yourself in this, should they not find a solution. We must enlist the French people to help, instead, should that come to pass."

"Does the speaking of French also make one immune?"

"No," Teja says. "Gavroche looks younger, also, but retains his memories."

Pause.

"I was thinking of Jean Valjean. He is very helpful."

"The one who scared Javert away?"

"He did not do that on purpose," Teja says. "Javert fled of his own intent. No, indeed, Valjean is a very good man. I have seen him reassure some of the confused small children here, including Charles Xavier."

"Hm, good. Especially given how little time he has been here."

"He is very good at touching any man's soul," Teja says. "He comforted me about my break-up with Pyrrha the first time we even spoke."

"You broke up? I'm sorry Teja." Guppy says, looking up at his friend.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"We did," Teja says. "I..."

He sighs.

"It's not important now. I spoke about it with Valjean. He is wonderful, and even Javert admits he is a good man."

Pause.

"I spoke with Valjean again just now, and he decided to speak with Javert himself; that might help."

"Okay, well, you know where I am if you need me." Guppy says quietly.

It must be even harder for Teja with a baby involved.

"Yes, perhaps it will. Maybe in a controlled environment."

"I know not if they even have the concept of that," Teja says. "These 1832 people sadden me so, truly! I wish to help them, and it is slow going, in long painful circles; but I find I am piecing together more and more of their tale, even though I am not at liberty to speak of it all."

Pause, while he hides his face in his hair and hands.

"The addition of an infatuated vampire into the tale did not help."