milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Three beautiful girls in very tiny skirts are sitting together at a table with a tea kettle and extra cups. A few school books, deck of cards, and rice paper with a calligraphy set are also scattered about.

"But! Ami-chan! It's a brilliant plan!" Minako is saying.

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Ami's glasses glint frighteningly in the dim bar light.

"Mina-chan, have you considered actually studying instead?"

Rei sips her tea, silently. "I think," she says when she finishes, "that may be too simple, Ami-chan."

"I resemble that!" Minako points at Rei. Menacingly! It is terrifying! And steals her lemon to suck on.

She pouts at Ami. "How can you say that, Ami-chan?! Don't you trust me? It's brilliant! A work of genius! You program the coding, Mako-chan and I run about in bunny suits, all the teachers fall under the subliminal message in the video game that says I am the best student EVER, and they must do as I command, and all our problems are solved!" She poses after her Grand Performance. "I don't see how this could go wrong!"

Ami sips her own tea as serenely as she can, but soon gives up and sets it down with an angry clink.

Behold the Righteous (and Slightly Manic) Wrath of the Straight-A Student.

"First of all, it's dishonest. You would get consistent results if you consistently applied yourself to your studies.

"Second, brainwashing is a highly unreliable form of control. There are recorded instances of success in the short term, but what about further down the road? Have any of our enemies succeeded in establishing long-term brainwashing programs?"

"Our enemies," Rei points out, "are not actually all that intelligent, for the most part."

It's really very amusing to just watch this.

She wrinkles her nose. "Well, no. And, I know."

"But you can't maaaaaaaake me study math! You cannnnnnnnnn't!" She hugs Ami around the neck and weeps into her shoulder. "Why does the future need me to pass math?! Rei-chan doesn't think I need to pass math!"

Ami sweatdrops copiously, shooting Rei a help me with your sanity kind of look.

"Oh, really?"

"...She probably does not, in the long run," Rei says thoughtfully, "but Mina-chan," poking her shoulder gently, "what if we run into an enemy who can only be deafeated by algebra use?"

It could happen.

You never know.

"...I shot it in the head with a laser?"

Ami sighs.

"I know our own examples aren't the best, but violence really can't solve every problem, Mina-chan."

"It doesn't?!"

She huffs.

"I rather fight than this." And it is a little sad that she means it.

"Mina-chan." Rei's voice is soft and gentle as she leans over a little to look the other girl in the eye.

"Think of it as a new enemy to defeat?"

There is a pause, before, craftily, "Perhaps Ami or I could have a reward for you, if you did study."

Briiiiber.

Ami is perfectly willing to bribe. She nods effusively, glasses catching the light again.

"What do you think would motivate you to work hard in your studies?

"Something feasible and legal," she adds hastily.

Minako's mouth snaps shut. Her eye twitching glaze of love clearly says 'I'll get you in a tank, my pretty. And your little super computer too!'

And then! DING! Light bulb!

"You in Rei-chan's little red dress and a date with a hot guy of my choosing. Here. With sake."

She hooks arms with Rei and beams at the other girl. "We'll go with her! We'll double date!"

Cue inner maniacal laughter...now.

WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rei smiles.

"If you study, I'm sure Ami-chan would be more than willing."

And of course Rei is.

For Ami's sake.

Ami's mouth drops open.

And snaps shut.

Her cheeks are quickly approaching an alarming shade of crimson.

"Do you really think that's necessary?" she squeaks.

She cups a hand to her ear. "What's that, Ami-chan? You want to help me break into the highly classified military base under Mt. Fuji and steal a hover tank? Is that what you said?"

"Mina-chan!"

That?

Was totally not a wail.

"What?"

She smiles, very innocent.

"It'll be fun!"

Thank the Kami she hasn't seen the 'whores for hire!' poster yet!

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