milliways_bar | (no subject)

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The door to the Bar swings open, there's nothing unusual about this except for the fat, bald guy in his underpants that walks through it.

Homer glances around the Bar suspiciously while scratching his butt.

"Marge...When did we have Bar put into the bathroom?"

He looks over his shoulder waiting for Marge's reply but there's only a wall there now. He shrugs his shoulders and heads towards the Bar.

"Bartender? Anyone serving here?" He scratches his ass again and waits to see if a Bartender appears.

(OOC: Homer Simpson in da Bar. Come on people you know you've always wanted to play with Homer!)

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Homer looks at the woman properly for the first time.

"Hey is it fancy dress?"

Any real witches that Homer has met have been all green and warty so he thinks that the woman must be in costume.

Nanny glances down at her dress, pulling out the skirt to look at it properly.

"Well, aren't you the flatterer? It ain't all that fancy."

Homer glances at his underpants suddenly feeling very self concious.

"Can this thing give me some pants?" He points in the direction of the Bar.

"Course she can," Nanny says. "She can give out anything, she can."

He turns to Bar.

"Pants please." In a very authoritive voice.

Bar, having the sense of humor that she does give Homer a large pair of flower power pants.

"What the..."

"Oooh," says Nanny, appreciatively. "Ain't they jolly?"

Homer pulls on the trousers and looks over his shoulder to see what they look like from behind.

"Do these make my butt look big?"

Nanny tilts her head critically, making a show of examining it.

"That's a very fine bottom," she says. "Looks just right."

Homer blushes and waves a hand in a very girly fashion.

"Oh stop, you're embarassing me."

A waistcoat (http://www.escapade.co.uk/ProductImages/Category_32/15697-c.jpg) to match the pants appears on the Bar and Homer puts it on.

Nanny snorts with laughter, and nods.

"Oh, that's very dashing," she says. "Not everyone can pull off them colours."

"Well I'm lucky like that, I have the sort of features that suit anything."

He sounds so modest when he says it that you know he believes it.

He picks up his bottle of beer and takes a swig.

"Anything for the lady?" He asks motioning to the Bar.

"Oooooh," Nanny says graciously. "I couldn't possibly... oh I'll 'ave a pint o' Scumble, if you're offering."

"Pint of ...."

Homer turns back to the woman.

"What is it you wanted?"

"Scumble," Nanny fills in happily. "S'made from apples. Mostly apples."

"Ok pint of scumble it is and who may I be purchasing this tasty beverage for?"

He had changed his accent to that of a fake English lord and was holding his beer with a pinky sticking out.

Nanny chortles at the manners, and bows like a good witch.

"Oi'm Mrs. Ogg," she says in her own faux-posh voice, before falling back to Lancran. "Everyone calls me Nanny, though."

Homer forgets himself for a moment and curtsies to the witch. "Doh!"

"Well Nanny, pleased to meet you. I'm Count Homer the 3rd of Springfield. You can call me Homer." He's still trying out his posh English accent.

Nanny can't really keep that up, but she appreciates his efforts. "Count, is it?" she asks. "How very posh. You usually gets your servants to bring your beer, do you?"

Homer giggles like a little school girl.

"Nah, i'm not really a count. I usually drink at Moe's but hey, if i'm gonna have a Bar in my bathroom I think i'll come here from now on."

"That's the spirit," Nanny says cheerfully. "Also the company's good, here."

"It seems nice." He looks around the Bar taking in the surroundings.

"It's always a plus when you can get a river of beer."

"That's what I always say," Nanny says. "Nice to meet a like minded young feller, I must say."

"Nice to meet a lady that can hold her drink." He smiles at her and continues to sip his beer.

"So where exactly am I since it's not my bathroom?"

"Oh this? This is Milliways, Love," Nanny explains. "Pub at the end of the universe - or universes, if you like."

"Ooooo, end of the Universe, not near Springfield then? So how do I get home?"

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joye-of-snackes.livejournal.com - 2007-03-19 15:14 (UTC) - Expand

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doh-nutlover.livejournal.com - 2007-03-19 15:55 (UTC) - Expand

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