IMDB-flu

[starrydome]

Elrond is feeling - well, he is feeling slightly feverish, with a beginning cough and a simmering headache.

What is worse is what is happening to his mind. How it is suddenly lurching, tilting (strange sensations, strange thoughts) and then a-righting itself.


He remembers last time. Vaguely.

What you do when you have a contagious illness is remove yourself from crowds, so he does that, after leaving a warning note to Glorfindel.
(At the end, the Tengwar morphs into a strong of ones and zeroes. He doesn't notice.)

A couple of hours pass. A tall, coughing figure reenters and makes a request at the Bar.
(Why the silly game interface to the AI? Pointless)

A bundle of clothes and a few assorted other items appears. They're taken and the figure disappears into the men's room.

Agent Smith walks through the door, black (and sharpely) dressed, putting on his sunglasses.
Then he puts in the small ear piece.

Nothing.

He stands still, feeling the utter lack of connection.
Then he smiles.
And removes the earpiece.


Well, well, well.

He'll live with the UX changes (hair, ears) if this is the core update.
Oh yes. He will.

Comments

[never_promised]

Oh, really?

He'd given out Thor's name on a whim without any particular intention of mimicry, but hell, let's Thor it up in here. "Nonsense! Humans are delightful! I find their gnat-like lifespans and Earth-bound technology endearing and enriching. Their frailties teach me humility!"

He breaks into a cough, unplanned. "...Like that. Humility. And...perspective. I'm loving every minute. --So go on about your Matrix, I'm all ears."

[starrydome]

He scoffed, and the scoff turns into a suppressed cough.

"They barely qualify as mammals. Their actions are counterproductive, their desires base and irrational, and their destiny must - must - be annihilation."

There's a pause.

"And they stink."


He almost call them the sickly ones but the words seem foreign and so he doesn't.

His vision is somewhat blurry which is distracting. Something in this new update must have loaded incompletely. But no matter. He will deal with that later.

[never_promised]

"Annihilation!" Loki fights to suppress a grin. Genocide Bad. No laughing at the genocide. "You can't destroy an entire race! That would be very wrong! And probably also dishonorable! --I'll grant you the smell, though."

He rocks back on his heels and looks at Mr. Agent Man with some satisfaction. Here's someone in the same boat with him. "Do you need a handkerchief?"

[starrydome]

"Destroying all of them is far more efficient," Agent Smith sneers. "Cherry picking one after another, granted, there is a certain elegance in that, a certain satisfaction, but really, batch processing is the way to go."

He coughs again.

"Yes."
He could do with a handkerchief.

[never_promised]

Sadly, the expression I would like to subscribe to your newsletter has not made it into Asgardian culture, but Loki thinks this is hilarious. Batch processing!

Thor Odinson, however, would Frown, so he does that. "No! I will defend Earth and its sad little residents to the full extent of my abilities. I will...I don't know, crush you mightily with the might of my mighty might. Something like that." Eh, being Thor is effort. "You'll have to get your own handkerchief. From the magical bar that gives you whatever you ask for, more or less." Let's see what you make of that, Agent man.

[starrydome]

"Yes, what is the point of that?" Agent Smith asks, rhetorically. "It's a well known fact that humans are less likely to accept their perceived reality when they are given the means to be carefree and happy. They show maximum performance in conditions marked by scarcity and confluct. Everyone knows that."

He coughs again.

[never_promised]

"Do they. You seem to know all about this. Spend a lot of time on Earth, do you?" Hmm. If only his memories were clearer. It's maddening to think The last time I was on Earth I... and come up blank. This fever is maddening, and it's the best he's got right now.

But he can stick to familiar ground. What would Thor say? He'd probably set his jaw and square his shoulders and say something like, "If humans show their courage best under adversity, then their spirit should be a lesson to us all!"

It's always fun being Thor.

[starrydome]

"You could say that," Agent Smith says. "I'm one of those tasked with keeping everything running smoothly. So I know - humans."

Smile.
Smiiile.

"And there are previously few lesson to be learned from them."

[never_promised]

"What do you mean, keeping everything running smoothly?"

(Right? Right??? Humans! Why does everyone get so excited about them? Oooh, look, they're stupid and fragile and they don't even last a hundred years, let's get all emotionally attached to them and read all kinds of significance into their pathetic nonsense.)

[starrydome]

"And we are back at The Matrix. What humans believe to be reality and what is in fact reality are two very different things. An illusion on top of The Matrix."

[never_promised]

He's intrigued enough to drop the Thor act--and even to lead the way over to the bar and ask for a hanky for his new world-domination buddy. "For what it's worth I'm the first to agree with you when it comes to belief and reality being different things. And it doesn't just stop at humans. But--brace yourself for disappointment--your Matrix may not apply outside of your universe. So if you could summarize for someone who knows a thing or two about illusion..."

That's him, by the way.

[starrydome]

Agent Smith looks at him.

"We are outside The Matrix?"

Oh.
Ohhhh yes fuckingyes.

"The Matrix is -"

How to translate it to an understandable concept?

"Sentient machines have created an immersive illusion that keeps humans in line and fairly docile while they are drained of life and energy."

How do you like that, man who is suddenly not a fan if home sapiens?

"We have created that."

[never_promised]

"We are outside the Matrix." Loki leans against the bar, having completely dropped the broad-shouldered valiant Thor look, and studies Agent Smith. "Sort of an energy farm? Is it just Earth or do you have a few other worlds?"

If Agent Smith is used to being a sentient machine, the sniffles must be immensely annoying. Loki can sympathize...but it mostly comes out in amused gratification in someone else's shared suffering.

[starrydome]

"That is not a completely inadequate analogy," Agent Smith replies as he dabs His forehead with the handkerchief.

"Earth has been enough. At least to begin with. Humans are - I must give them that - surprisingly useful when they are hooked up right. Occasionally one or two have a revelation. But they're dealt with promptly to ensure the integrity of the system."

He likes dealing promptly and permanently with this gs.
You can tell.

[never_promised]

"...Thanks, I strive to be not completely inadequate." He sniffles a bit himself. "Do your sentient machines have a name for themselves? As a race?"

[starrydome]

"We are programs. There are other machines, simpler devices that support the physical running of The Matrix."

[never_promised]

Hmm. Mental note: maintain a strong no-advanced-AI policy on Asgard.

"And how long has that been going on?"

[starrydome]

"Its - been a while. There was a war of course. "

He smiles again.

"And the humans lost."

[never_promised]

"...Well I can't imagine it would be difficult to win a war against humans." I mean, really.

[starrydome]

"Its the way they scuttle and hide," Agent Smith tells him with barely contained disgust.

[never_promised]

Loki snort-giggles, very princely, and props his elbow on the bar. This Agent is absurdly overblown, he thinks without a shred of self-awareness, and it's delightful. "They have to be good at hiding," he observes. "They're so soft. And breakable."

[starrydome]

"That does have its advantages though," Smith says. "It certainly makes it easier to take control of their bodies."