freedom_is_grey: (Default)
Ysalwen Surana, Warden-Commander of Ferelden ([personal profile] freedom_is_grey) wrote in [community profile] milliways_bar2017-07-14 06:36 pm

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Ysalwen steps through the front door, looking lighter and less troubled than she has in weeks. Having your apprentice settled into a Tal-Vashoth mercenary team -- the Valo-Kas, as it happens -- will do that. Particularly given that they are newly formed, though taking in members of several different mercenary bands with a great deal of experience.

Meraad liked them, and James found very little to complain about with any of its members, so.

Ysalwen settles herself at a corner booth, pulling out her tablet-book and pulling up three holographic windows. One contains a complicated nuclear decay simulation, another has some sort of energetics equations on it, and the third is playing Die Hard. She's been told it's a quite interesting play, and so.

Liranan has settled underneath her chair, ready to take a nap while she works. He may come out when the movie's gunfire starts, or he might just roll his eyes and go back to sleep.
iprotectyou: Baze smiling the tiniest bit (why hello there)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 12:05 am (UTC)(link)
She is good at hugs. Baze leans into her embrace while it lasts, his own arms wrapped around her despite the half-full cider bottle in his hand. He's ssurprised, but grateful that she chose to be physically affectionate. As the most tactile person on Jedha, he has missed cuddling, and Chirrut can only take so much.

Tears sting Baze's eyes at her words, and he tries, ever so much, to smile again. It's watery, and his voice is a little choked when he speaks. "Thank you. It is difficult. It's the hardest thing I think I've ever done. I need to forgive myself, too, but I'm not sure how."
iprotectyou: Baze looking off to the side, wrinkling his nose (how about no)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
"You sound like you have personal experience," Baze says, sniffling. He sets the brown, glass bottle down on the counter and clings back, looping his massive arms around her thin shoulders.

His words aren't exactly an invitation to talk about said experience--whatever happened to her sounds painful, and he's not about to go picking at old scabs.

He rests his cheek against her temple and sighs. "I can't take back what I've done. I wish I could, but I... No, I don't wish I could, because that wouldn't be acknowledging the hurt I've caused, would it? Ugh," he says, his eyes tight, even through the tears. "It's difficult, because nineteen years is such a long, long time. And I was so obstinate, whereas I was so faithful before."
iprotectyou: Baze aiming a bazooka cannon with a red tint (welcome to the gun show)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 12:28 am (UTC)(link)
Baze breathes with her, finding the steady rhythm comforting. He extricates one hand and scrubs at his eyes with the heel.

It's no good. Fat tears keep coursing down his cheeks.

"No," he says, and that's the one bright spot in all of this. He's grateful to Ysalwen for pointing it out. "But I... I called him a fool, and a dreamer. A-And I reminded him of my lack of faith every chance I had, despite knowing that it hurt him."
iprotectyou: An animated gif of Chirrut's hand resting on Baze's cheek (oh chirrut)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 12:45 am (UTC)(link)
Baze buries his face into her shoulder, his tears running down the leather into her robes. She's right. That's exactly what he did. And he dragged Chirrut into the pushing at wounds, too.

It's just too much.

He gives himself over to sobbing. He finds the cry cleansing, but to be caught up in the middle of it is awful. He's a snotty mess by the time he's done, and he once again digs the heel of his hand into his eyes, as if by hurting himself physically he could take away some of the other pain--and the pain he repeatedly caused.

"Thank you," he says, his breath hitching twice as he tries to compose himself. "Sorry. You're right."
iprotectyou: Baze looking off to the side, wrinkling his nose (how about no)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 12:54 am (UTC)(link)
"Thanks," Baze says. He keeps saying that, but he's so absurdly grateful. He didn't realize how much of a wellspring of grief he carried until the sorrow clawed its way free. He feels like there's a hole in his chest where his heart should be, but at the same time his heart feels full of ground glass.

He takes the cloth and wipes at his eyes. "Can I offer you another drink? Your cider is probably warm by now."

And Baze needs alcohol right about now. Or tea. One or the other.
iprotectyou: Baze aiming a bazooka cannon with a red tint (welcome to the gun show)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
"I have a secret stash of sapir up here, for Chirrut," Baze says. Mentioning his friend almost sets Baze to crying again, but he keeps it together.

Barely.

He rummagea around a bottom cabinet, coming up with a green block of tea and a teapot. He fills the pot with water and sets it on the stove, gesturing to Ysalwen for her to do her thing. Then he fishes two earthenware cups out of a higher cabinet and breaks some of the tea off the block for them.
iprotectyou: Baze smiling the tiniest bit (why hello there)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 01:32 am (UTC)(link)
Baze waits until the water fully boils, and then pours the heated liquid into the two cups. As the tea steeps, the delectable aroma of growing, living grasses fills the workshop. It's a subtle scent, so it doesn't overpower the others of yeast, apples, and alcohol, but adds to them, instead.

Baze offers Ysalwen her cup, his smile still a touch watery, but ridiculously warm. "I appreciate the conversation we've had today, though I was maudlin near the end of it."
iprotectyou: An animated gif of Baze blinking (if you say so)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
Baze nods. He tries to draw a breath through his stuffed-up nose, and fails. He blows on his tea, cradling the cup in both hands.

"Then, while I hope you're never in pain, maybe I can return the favor someday," he says, sniffing again. "And it did help. It will be of even more help after I've slept on it, and can look at your advice with a clear head."
iprotectyou: Baze smiling the tiniest bit (why hello there)

[personal profile] iprotectyou 2017-07-18 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
"No, I have Chirrut for that," Baze says, his heart lighter when he thinks of his friend, and his tone fond to match. He pats her hand. "But thank you. And while I'm not looking forward to your facing something like that, I do hope I can help you like you've helped me today."

He reaches out and loops one arm around her shoulders, pulling her close for a quick squeeze. "I'm so glad you're my friend, Ysalwen."