"Ahhhh. So we get to the bottom of the matter.

"First off, I would stick with Irish coffee. At least today.

"Second, you don't need me to tell you that this is not a solution. You would be better off finding out why you aren't dreaming. You know that too.

"So I won't preach about the evils of coffee. I'll ask if you have any clue as to what the problem is."