milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

[OOM: Mara has a surgery, then wakes up...looking crappy.]

The door opens, and a pale, sallow skinned Mara Jade Skywalker pads through the door in hospital garb, a robe held tightly around her. One sleeve of the robe is bloody, from a ripped out IV.

She looks disoriented, then worried, turning to make sure the door is still there.

She shakily heads to a table and sits. Maybe getting up so soon wasn't a good idea.

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"Mara, you silly person. Stay here a moment." She runs off to Bar, returning with a blanket which she wraps around Mara. "Scare the crap out of me, why don't you? Going and getting yourself all shot up and stuff." Her eyes are serious, but there's a tiny hint of fear in there.

"How'd you know?" Mara asks, shaking slightly. Her fingers touch her robe, then pulls her fingers away. "'m bleeding."

She sounds shocked to see the blood.

Val reaches down and rips her skirt, tearing off a strip to bind the bleeding part of Mara's arm. "Ben's in here. I've been taking care of him for you. He's Bound. Don't know for how long."

"I thought he'd be here." Mara nodded, looking at Valentine wrap her arm. "I just took out my IV...that's why I'm--ow, that burns!"

"Sorry, Mara. You really shouldn't pull out IVs like that." She takes a deep breath. "Now, is there anything else you need?"

"More morphine." Mara says immediately. "I have a new kidney. They grew it in a stasis chamber."

She chews on her finger. "Did Ben tell you what happened?"

"Lemme see if the bar will give me some." Val walks off, returning with a shot, which she gently gives Mara. "He gave me a bit of an idea what happened. Frankly, I don't really need to know more." She sighs. "You worry me, Mara."

"It's not my fault." Mara says, sitting back. She feels instantly better. Her eyes drift closed. "I can move as well in Zero G, Val."

"Moving in nullo sucks. Or at least that's what Ender says." Val reaches over, and hugs Mara, holding her a bit. "You need to go back to bed, Mara."

"Valentine." Mara struggles against her for a moment. "I've been in bed for a month, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of being strapped down so I don't move wrong and ruin everything they did. I don't even remember what day it is. It's been at least three since my final surgery...I left Luke in a chair, sleeping, so I could move around...I need to not lie down!"

"Shhh. Mara. Calm down. Trust me, I know what you mean. I was stuck in a bed for three weeks after I miscarried, because everyone was babying me, and I about went nuts. That's not to mention people saying I was overworking myself before." She sighs, rather a lot of pain in the sigh. "You do need to get better, and not push yourself too much. Only three days since your surgery's not long enough. I know it's shitty, but it is, I'm sorry."

"You had a..." Mara sits back, looking at Valentine. "When?"

She waves off the more rest part. "I will...just not...right now, okay? Once I get home, Jacen and Ben and Leia and Han will be pinning me to the bed again."

"It was Juneish. Seven months ago. I was only about three months along. Couldn't have been more than that. I felt her die." She chokes a bit. It's an old wound that she hasn't re-opened in a while. "Frell, Luke didn't realize he was feeling her till she died. People said that it was my fault." She shrugs, obviously trying to brush it off. "I don't know. I've just tried to move on."

"Valentine." Mara breathes, shakily touching Val's arm. "I'm...so sorry."

She doesn't know what it's like to lose her own child...but she knows what it's like to lose the kid who is as good as her own son.

She grows very silent.

"Yeah, well, it happened. And, well, I guess it was sorta my fault. I should have been taking better care of myself and all. Things move on." Val hugs Mara again, perhaps more for her own comfort this time.

"Valentine." Mara suddenly gets stronger in her words, and her body too. She hits her on the arm. "Don't be stupid. You didn't do a thing to make that happen."

She moves away from her, shaking her head. "Valentine. I'm sure you did all the right things. You weren't dying from disease, fighting wars or anything like that. It was the Force, or your body. The baby wouldn't have been right." Her eyes are welling up with tears. "Don't be stupid!"

"Mara, please. Calm down." Val puts her hands up, amost in a gesture of self-defence. "I don't know what happened. Someone seemed to think that it was my fault, and I guess I just went along with it. Doesn't matter. Starlight's still not here."

"No, it does matter. It's not your fault. Never think that." Mara shakes her head. "They wouldn't let me think that almost dying, almost killing Ben was my fault, so this isn't yours."

Val just shrugs. "f you say so, Mara." She pauses, then blinks a couple times. "Er, sorry. You really didn't need that random outburst."

Mara shakes her head. "Stop it. You're still...thinking the wrong way. You're not being Valentine." Mara's voice shakes. She really needs the real Valentine right now. Stop being Faux-Val!

There are a few things that Val sticks on. This, for some reason, is one of them. "Shhh. Mara. It's alright. Don't worry about me. See? I'm still Valentine. Nothing's changed."

Mara looks away, tucking her head under her arms, and starts to cry. "Valentine, I think I'm going to die. I don't see myself in the future anymore."

Oh -no-. This is not something Val needed. Buggercrap. "Shhh, Mara. I'm sure that you're wrong. Really, you can't go around thinking you're going to die, because then you won't be as alert for things." She reaches out and pulls the other woman towards her. "Shhhh."

"I think it's the drugs. I must be depressed or something." Mara sniffs, clinging to Valentine. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to randomly say that. I guess better to you than Luke. Or Ben."

Hoo. Mara saying that to Ben? Eep.

"Shhh. It's alright, Mara. Really. You can dump whatever on me. I'm here to help. Tell me anything. I don't have anything else to do."