milliways_bar | (no subject)

A certain Vampire has been watching people burst into song all night. It's...horribly familiar. Horribly.

"Evenin Watcher."

-- Spike! Hi. Uh. Don't call me that.

One elegantly raised eyebrow.

"Aren't ya one?"

Do I go around calling you 'vampire'?

"Sometimes?"

Not that he'd care.

"So. You know any reason why I burst into a rip off of Jesus Christ Superstar when I opened the door? Cause, last time this shit happened, it was Xanders fault."

-- That's right, you were in Sunnydale still when that went down. And yeah, it's the same demon, I'm pretty sure ...

*Andrew stares at Spike in sudden urgency.* Were you there when they defeated him? Did you see how they did it?

"Yah."

And there's that old Spike predatory smile.

"That I was, that I did."

...well? How'd they do it?

There's nothing in any of my books, not even a hint --

Big, shit eating grin.

"It was all because of Xanders Wang."

*Andrew blinks.*

Okay, uh, you wanna give me the footnotes on that?

"Well, the person who summons it has to go back and be Sweets Queen in Hell. But, since Xander doesn- didn't swing that way, and Sweet doesn't either, he let us pass, that once."

See, it's much more fun when you don't explain it.

...

*flatly* So he wasn't actually defeated. He just got bored and went home.

"We confronted him, and he took off."

A frown.

"Have you found who summoned him? It's a small list."

*Andrew shakes his head.* Me and Xander've been looking. I put up a sign --

*He points.*

"Well, maybe you should interview? Cause, you can rule out Me, Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Giles, Tara, Willow and Anya. We've all seen the effects, and wouldn't try it again. We can rule out you, cause, well, your you, and would know better. That leaves, us, with, what, your two friends, Illyria and Fred, those two still freak me out, Wesley, and the two lawyers from Wolfram and Hart."

That he's seen here.

"Oh, and possibly Dru or Darla, but niether a them are the singin type."

What makes you so sure it's someone from our world?

"The demons from our world, isn't he?"

A shrug.

"Makes sense."

*Meg is standing in front of one of the posters, reading it with interest.

It's kind of a relief to know it's not the Phantom of the Opera, at least.*

Meg!

*Andrew hurries over to her.*

Where've you been? I wanted to warn you, about the singing --

Too late, *Meg says, turning a gloomy face to him.* Kitty and I got hit a few days ago - we went to hide upstairs, we wanted to ask you about it but you weren't there -

*Her voice is tragic.* We were attacked. By singing waitrats.

*Andrew lets out a heartfelt groan, and headdesks. Well, headbars.*

We sang, *Meg says, her voice low.* In harmony. Except it wasn't.

*Her expression says that she does not have words to convey the horror of this event.*

I thought it was the Phantom of the Opera again - well, one of them, considering how many we've got -

-- Meg, this is worse. This is a demon. He makes people sing -- and it's not just, you know, songs and dances and a happy ending, he makes you sing your darkest secrets out loud for everybody to hear. And that's not even counting the whole spontaneous combustion thing --

That's worse for people who have deep dark secrets, I guess, *Meg says, dourly.* But considering the only way I know to stop the Phantom is to kiss him, I think I'll take the demon, merci beaucoup.

That's just it, I don't know how to stop the demon.

*Meg blinks at him.* Don't you have - je ne sais pas, books and books on different kinds of demons up there? Kitty was looking through them some -

- and you know, not to sound selfish, but as long as it doesn't involve kissing I think I still feel like I'm ahead of the game.

Yes, the books, that's how I know about this demon. You can't fight it, because when you get near it you wind up in a musical number instead.

Can't it be an action-packed musical number? *Meg offers.* I mean, Kitty and I fought off the waitrats by dancing -

-- you did?

*Andrew's forward momentum is completely derailed by that mental image.*

Wish I'd seen that.

It was pretty impressive, if I do say so myself, *Meg agrees, modestly.*

The waitrats were clapping at the end. Even the ones who'd been threatening us - I mean, obviously our calling is more towards the dancing than the singing -

*A pause, as she suddenly remembers the bit about bursting into flame.*

- though maybe that's not a plus with this particular curse actually -

I'm not sure it makes a difference.

*Andrew looks a bit pale.*

Look, I'm putting fire extinguishers all over the bar -- just be on the lookout, okay? If you see someone starting to smoke ....

- you mean, like, buckets of water?

*Meg's education over this past year has covered a lot of things; fire extinguishers, alas, are not one of them.*

-- right. Here, I'll show you.

*He picks up the red cylinder leaning against the bar, tucking it awkwardly under one arm.*

Let's go outside, I'll demonstrate.

*Meg trots after him, eyeing the heavy red cylinder with some wariness, and swinging her cloak over her shoulders as she goes.*

*The back door closes behind them.*

*It's several minutes before they return, with Meg cheerfully lugging the fire extinguisher and Andrew shaking bits of white foam out of his hair.*

-- anyway yeah, I think you've got the hang of it.

Eh bien, that's emergency measures covered, *Meg agrees, and plunks the fire extinguisher down on the table.*

. . . it'd be nice if we could defeat the demon just by extinguishing him, *she adds, wistfully.*

Well, he's not actually a fire demon. He just makes other people catch fire.

Yes, *Meg says, patiently.* That's why I said 'it'd be nice' instead of 'let's go attack the demon with a fire extinguisher pronto!'

*Andrew gives Meg a mournful look.*

You're making fun of me.

I'm your girlfriend, *Meg says, cheerfully, and beams up at him, looping an arm around his waist.* This is a - what's the word I want, it's a prerogative I have.

Yes. Yes it is.

*Andrew puts his own arm around her shoulders.*

So. Shall we patrol the bar for people in danger of bursting into flame?

. . . what are we, the volunteer fire department? *Meg says, giggling.*

- you get to carry the fire extinguisher, by the way.

Somebody has to be.

*He shoulders the fire extinguisher with his free hand, and the two start a slow circuit of the main room....*

Ingress twirls by, noisily singing and laughing, her feet beginning to smoke just the slightest bit, until she bumps into a dwarf. Phew, curse averted!

Tom's not gonna like this if he finds out.

*At the sight of the smoke Andrew's already diving for the fire extinguisher he got from Bar earlier.*

*Fortunately, he doesn't trigger it before turning around and seeing that the smoking has stopped, otherwise both Ingress and the dwarf would be covered in foam right now.*

...that was too frelling close.