milliways_bar | All my life I've been waiting...

Richard brings them a tray, then shuffles off to hide in his room.

"I will." He inhales, . "Last night, the effects from the last time Bartleby helped me were wearing off. That's why I was so nasty, love. I hurt and I was afraid . . . it's no excuse, I know.

"But Lady Moiraine--she's always been so kind to me--she took it out of me, David. Not just the pain but the desire, the addiction--it's gone. Just gone.

"And I feel like a new man."

I'm... I'm glad to hear that, and it adds another reason I must thank the Lady. And sorry I didn't think to stop and ask what the matter was.

I...

*he shakes his head*

I would have been of no use anyway.

Charlie gladly drinks the tea Richard brought, looking after his quick retreat with confusion. "No, love, you would, you would. I told you before--you make me feel strong. You do. And I should have told you--the trouble with self-pity is that it's difficult to share, I suppose.

"And I missed you."

I missed you too, Love.

But...

*he hates himself more and more each time he thinks of it*

I... there's something... something that happened last night.

And it's stupid and it hurts me and I know it will hurt you, which makes me not want to tell you, but I know I must, because if we don't have trust and honesty, then what do we have?

*he sighs*

"Mind-blowing sex," Charlie says in a light tone, but David's beginning to worry him. He cups David's face in his hand and runs his thumb along David's cheekbone. "How bad could it be? I can see you haven't slept and I can bet you haven't fed--what could you have gotten up to, I wonder?" He smiles gently, trying to tease him.

"Just tell me."

Yes, well, mind-blowing sex is fantastic in its own right. But made all the better by how I feel for you, and...

And one out of two isn't bad, I guess.

*he sighs*

I... last night.

Richard, he... broke a glass, and...

Oh, Gods forgive me. *the grip on Charlie's hand is almost painful. He looks close to tears* I...

He...

*he closes his eyes*

I... ever so slightly, just the wound... *he gives up at that, a sob ripping from his throat, and hopes Charlie understands*

Charlie frowns, trying to understand what he's saying. "Richard cut himself and you . . ." He inhales as it dawns on him. "You drank from him. From Richard."

He doesn't say anything for a moment, then pulls David to him and wraps his arms around him. "David, David, David . . . and I told people you were bad for me, and love was a lie, and that that I never wanted to love anyone again."

He kisses David's hair. "So what do you think? Can we rebuild here or what?"

*wraps himself around Charlie as best he can, his face buried in his neck, breathing, simply breathing, and his shoulders shake with each successive shudder*

I love you I love you I love you...

Oh, love, of course I do! I wish we'd never fought in the first place; I wish I'd never made you doubt me; I wish I'd...

*he's not sure what else he wishes, but he knows that it's better to be careful what you wish for.

He's not sure, either, as to whether or not he's embarassed at himself or angry at himself for taking Richard's blood, but he's sorry anyway*

It won't happen again, love. I can control myself; I know it.

Whether you tell me to stop or not...

Charlie hears his whisper and closes his eyes. "David," he says gently, "we're not equals. I know that. You've got more experience and more knowledge and more strength--you're going to live forever.

And I'm not.

And I tend--" He corrects himself and speaks slowly, trying to get the words right, "I crave things that are bad for me. I prefer love to be messy and cheap so I can walk away. I'm drawn to people who hurt me. I have been the embodiment of live fast and die young."

He leans his cheek against David's hair. He can feel David's body breathing, quivering, trying to burrow deeper into his own.

"I love you so much," he finishes quietly. "I don't know what's right except I need you."

*after a moment's silence, he replies*

I don't see what's more equal than I love you and you love me. None of that crap now. I love you and that's it, and that's what matters to me.

I mean, it's not all that I care about, but it's important, and you...

*he stops, having realised that he's babbling*

You still love me. Even after that.

And that's... incredible, I have no words.

And for what it's worth, I don't believe you're going to die young. I'd have you by my side in a heartbeat for eternity. But I won't offer it to you because it wouldn't be fair on you.

One day. One day at a time.

*he entwines his fingers in Charlie's and dislodges himself from his neck, leaning up to kiss him. He's slow enough that Charlie can pull back, if he wants, but his grip is still held, and his arm is still around him*

"I think I'm always going to love you, David," Charlie whispers and rests his forehead against David's. "Nothing's ever felt this real. As for the rest . . . Richard's our friend. He's lonely. And I understand all too well what a draw blood can be."

He chucks David lightly under his chin. "Just don't do it again, yeah?"

I'd sing, but I'm afraid I'd be shot by people for the pleasure.

*being sappy, he rubs his nose on Charlie's, the arm around his waist tightening significantly, bringing them closer together*

And I can't tell you I'll love you 'til my dying day, either. How that pains me. So I will love you as long as I live. I believe that's adequate.

And yes, never again. *he kisses Charlie softly on the lips* I'm glad, love, that we're not arguing. I thought for sure...

*he ignores the feeling and leaves the sentence unspoken* I love you.

"You thought for sure I'd lost faith in you?" Charlie says, looking at him through his lashes. "I did. For a little bit. I was scared, David. Afraid of you for the first time. But being depressed is part of the withdrawl process and it's easy to be afraid when you're sad.

"After Moiraine healed me, I was lying awake and thinking about--well, everything, really--and there was still an ache, y'know, an emptiness. I didn't get it: I felt more whole and happy than I had for a long time, except for the one empty place.

"And as I was holding your pillow I realized what I was missing was you."

He whispers, "You're still my messiah, David," before kissing him fiercely.

[OOC: You just killed me. Totally killed me. I am a melty puddle on the floor. Look!]

*he kisses him back, the taste that he missed so back in his mouth, Charlie's heart beating through the touch of his hand on his chest, and he almost cries aloud again.

When he breaks off the kiss, it's only to babble a bit: things that he must say*

I worried you'd be scared of me. I don't want you to fear me. You're in no danger from me whatsoever, Charlie. And I will - and can - protect you, if you ask it of me.

I'm just sorry I wasn't there for you, and... I should have been. There were you needed me, you know?

*and then he kisses him again, not giving him a chance to reply, not giving him a chance to back down*

[ooc: mops you up and wrings you back out]

Charlie's fingers twist into David's hair, pulling David to him like he can't bear to be so much as a breath apart.

"You were there," he whispers as he kisses over David's face. "In my heart, you were there. You're always there. I carry you with me wherever I go."

*David's fingers are touching Charlie's skin like it's the first time.

In a way, it is. It's the first time they've been apart having argued - though that's not really right, they never argued, and he's not going to dwell on it - and Charlie's better than he remembers. He remembers the stubble, and now it's softer, longer, and he suddenly wishes he had the choice. He remembers his hair, though it's different now - the light hitting it or not and it's honey-in-sunlight bright and he kisses it, runs his fingers through it, over Charlie's face, and he kisses him and he doesn't need to whisper anymore*

I love you. IloveyouIloveyouIloveyou. I never want to leave you, ever again. Tell me you won't make me leave you...

*he pulls Charlie's legs up, draping them across his own, and kisses him deeply, passionately, and there's not even a breath between them*

I won't make you leave me, I promise

He rocks into David, wanting to feel all of his body against his own.

I won't go anywhere you can't follow

David's breath is sharp from alcohol and hot, and even his skin feels warm beneath Charlie's fingertips. His hair is soft and his throat rumbles with tiny moans and his heart is beating so fast.

Don't ever go where I can't be, I love you, don't want to spend another night without you, love you so much, love you always, love you, my love, my beloved, my David

[ooc: and it is time for me to go home, so meet you again in half an hour]

*Charlie's mouth is exactly as he remembers it, only better: he's hot, and his kisses melt like butter against him, and he's falling, falling, falling in love all over again, deeper, stronger, and the kisses are killing him and reviving him all at once*

I'll never leave you. Never stop loving you. Never lie to you

*his hands are under Charlie's shirt, resting lightly on the skin of his waist, the warmth filtering through his fingertips*

I love you. So much.

[OOC: See you when you get back ^^]

In the midst of their frantic kisses Charlie whispers, "David, David," and pulls away enough to speak, keeping his nose pressed to David's and his fingers combing through the hair at the back of David's neck.

"There's still the blood problem, David. I can't . . . I don't want us to stop making love but . . ." He doesn't know how to stay this so he kisses David again.

*David understands. He knows it's difficult - it's such a rush for the both of them, but if it drains Charlie, if it makes him sick, makes him tired, then he knows it's off the menu; he's not doing it again*

Oh, Love, I know... we'll figure something out...

*in the meantime, he thinks, he could live without sex, even, so long as he just has Charlie.

And besides, Charlie doesn't need to feed on blood to get hard, and that's one part of him he's always willing to suck on without drawing blood...*

[OOC: I am so sorry for the last. I'm a bad, bad girl. And I know it]

[ooc: ~~SHOCKED! I am shocked, I say!~~]

"There are lots of things," Charlie mutters and dabbles his tongue along David's throat. "And this is nice . . . this is very good . . . I love kissing you, David . . ." He sucks David's adams apple and scrapes his teeth along David's collarbones. "Or I could just eat more red meat . . . iron supplements . . . strawberries . . ."

[OOC: ~~Yeah, shocked I said it before you :P~~]

*David gasps and runs his hands into Charlie's hair, tilting his head back onto the top of the booth's seat*

Oh, Gods, don't stop dontstop.

Don't tempt me, Charlie... I can't resist you...

*the voice in Charlie's head holds more emotion than the words can convey. David LOVES him, wants him, needs him and cherishes him, never wants to give him up, and if Charlie offers, David will accept...*

Charlie doesn't speak: he slides off David's lap to his feet and holds out his hand. The look on his face is unmistakable: blush in his cheeks and darkness in his eyes and his lips red from kisses.

*he takes Charlie's hand and stands beside him, ducking his head to breath deep and hot in his ear*

Do what you will with me.

*his tongue is hot and wet as it traces the shell of his ear*

Charlie's breath shivers and his fingers curl into David's shirt a moment. He bites his lower lips and gives David a very dirty look, then tugs his hand and leads him through the bar to Bar. He bends close to the wood and murmurs, "Precious, we need something special tonight, if you'd be so kind--vanilla ice cream with hot caramel sauce?"

The bowl appears, along with two spoons, and Charlie smooches the Bar with gratitude. He takes the bowl, still clasping David's hand, and takes him upstairs to their room.

Their room. Theirs.

All my life I've been waiting...

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