milliways_bar | (no subject)

*Exhausted and emotionally drained beyond belief, Alanna approaches the bar and smiles wistfully at Val's antics.*

*quietly* Hello, Val. Everything alright?

Val stops spinning, some of the bounce quietly tamed in favour of soft concern. "Alanna. I think it might be better if I asked you that. Cn I get you something?"

*Still shaking somewhat, Alanna grabs a stool and forces herself to sit down.*

Do you have anything soothing? *rubs her forehead* I'm suddenly feeling each and every scrape I acquired today. *ruefully* It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Val ponders for a moment, then turns to the bar. "Bar, can I have some soothing tea for Alanna, please?" A cup of steaming, sweet-smelling herbal tea appears on the bar, which Val gives to Alanna. "There we go. That should help some." Her eyes are concerned. "You look horrible, if you don't mind me saying so. What in heaven's name happened?"

*She accepts the tea with a thankful smile. She lets her head droop over the cup for a moment as she inhales the calming scent. Finally finding the energy to raise her head, she looks at Val with a pained expression on her face.*

A little of everything it seems. Corwin brought me to Amber and we got in a tavern brawl. *motions to her now purple cheek* We were bruised beyond belief, but oddly satisfied. I felt more alive than I had in days. We returned, met up with some friends... *with this, her eyes wander to the honeysuckle stem resting on the bar's surface a few feet away. A slow smile spreads across her face and she blushes. Scrunching up her nose, she clears her throat and returns her gaze to Val* Then... Mithros. Lochiel showed me things. Home. Things are not going well in Tortall, it seems.

Val's eyes stray to the honeysuckle, her eyebrows raising a moment, attempting to process the blush. Damn, perhaps I shouldn't have pushed that with Peter earlier. Clean-up crew? Anyone? She decides to take on the blush first. Perhaps it would help her some. "Hm. It seems these friends make you slightly pin around the cheeks. 'Fess up. What happened and who is it?" She grins, a combination of curiosity and kindness.

*Alanna promptly chokes on her tea.*

*coughs* Pink? I'm sure I don't know what you mean. Perhaps the light simply highlighted a new bruise. *pretends to just notice Val looking at the honeysuckle* Oh, that! Your brother gave that to me. I think he got annoyed that I refused to heal myself and tried to distract me from the pain. *smiles fondly, totally oblivious to the fact that she's blushing again* It was quite... chivalrous. I'm not used to such gestures.

Val grins, a sparkle lighting up her eyes. Perhaps this wasn't as dire as she thought. Ye gods, are they -both- that obivious? "That's so sweet, Alanna. I'm actually surprised at Peter. He's usually not given to gestures like that." She giggles. "I think he likes you."

*Alanna concentrates on her tea for a moment, cursing her total lack of composure.*

*Grits her teeth momentarily and looks up* Well, I should hope so. I count him among my closest friends. Same with you, Val.

*Groans* My head hurts.

Val facepalms. Literally. No wonder they like each other. They're two of a kind, both too proud to realize the obvious. Shall I wave it in front of their faces? Gah. They're worse than Luke and I. "You are a lot like Peter, Alanna." She smiles, and looks concerned again. "Bar, can you get something for Alanna's headache?" The bar produces something, and Val grins. "Perhaps you should take that. You look like you could use it."

*Alanna can't help but smile at that* I consider that a fine compliment.

*she eyes the proffered packet of herbs* Eh... It's worth a try I suppose. *Something in her phrasing strikes a nerve and she pales. Dumping the herbs in her tea, she looks around the bar, her eyes suspiciously bright. She seems to be looking for someone.*

Val, on the other hand, is lost at this. She decides to go back to the previous tack of conversation. "Peter's an amazing person, really. Unfortunately, it took me a bit too long to realize this, bit yeah. He doesn't realize it, actually. Sometiems you have to hit him over the head with what you're trying to get through his head."

*Alanna stares at her, gently tugging at her lower lip. Immediately ready to leap to Peter's defense, she bites her tongue and waits a moment, allowing herself to form a rational thought.*

Peter IS amazing. He's... *Frowns* Why doesn't he see that? *Because this was totally rational. Yes.*

What happened with you two?

Val bites her lip. This is careful water she has to tread. "Well, Peter has changed a lot since I saw him last. When we were young, he was harsher, and had a tendancy to be cruel and heartless to Ender, whom I love dearly. That didn't really set well with me at all. After Ender left, Peter and I kept up the hostility, some because that's because what we'd always done, some because I still didn't trust him. We did work together, as anonymous political wonks, writing commentary on issues, and turning conventional wisdom. I still didn't trust him because of the way he could so easily turn peoples' thought. When I was about fourteen, I left earth to go be with Ender in space. Peter kept on by himself." She takes a deep breath. "He's changed quite a bit since I left. He's mellowed, and become quite an amazing man. I'm so proud of him."

*Listening intently, Alanna sips her tea and feels her emotional shield slip even more.*

*She takes a deep breath, absently noticing that her hands are shaking ever so slightly*

Goddess. That sounds like what I hoped would happen to Thom. *mournfully* I thought he would change the way it sounds like Peter did. Perhaps I should trust him more, not try to reign him in so much. *looks up* The fact that Peter DID change just points to what an extraordinary person he is. Did he ever offer an explanation for his earlier behavior to Ender?

It couldn't have been easy for him... after you left. So much left unsaid, I'm sure.

"He and I have never really talked about the past. If I try, he seems to dry up, and give me one-line answers. Getting a straight answer out of Peter is akin to trying to find the Landlord. You can't." She smiles gently. "I can see he's changed, I trust him now, and that's what matters." Not to mention, I know who he's going to become, and I'm proud of it. "There's a lot unsaid between Peter and I. We have a very interesting relationship. Quite a lot of sarcasm, some wordplay, and the real affection and care under the surface." She shrugs a bit. "Perhaaps Thom didn't get the chance to change, or perhaps circumstances didn't line up right for him." Her eyes seem sad for a moment. "If he's anything like you, which I'm sure he is, as your brother, he has to be an amazing person."

*giggles helplessly* Wonderful. I seem destined to surround myself with men with a talent for evading questions via cryptic responses. That's Thom's specialty, you see. He's rather proud of it.

*smiles fondly* Peter cares for you deeply. It's evident to all who see you two together. Did I tell you he asked me to check up on you? Back when you were overworking yourself. He was very worried. *frowns* But don't tell him I told you that.

Another fine compliment, Val. *grins* Careful, or my head will swell. Thom is an amazing person, yes. Perhaps he will yet change, especially if I remove myself from the equation, even temporarily. I fear I am the major obstacle as I seem to be the one unable to forget the past.

*sadly* There are moments, few and far between, when everything makes sense. When I feel like I get through to him.

Val grins hugely. "Peter's a politician. He gets paid to evede questions with cryptic responces, and he's quite good at it. I can do it if I try, but he does it naturally." Her eyes take on a rather sweet twinkle for a moment. "I love Peter with everything I am. I'd do anything for him. If someone was threatening him, I'd be right there in their face. Any of us would do it for any of the others. He keeps his caring underground, though. I'll make large fusses if one of them is over-tired or hurting, but Peter's one to do it subtly." She sighs, pondering for a moment. "Yet again, I say you are like Peter, never knowing how to take a compliment. Actually, it was my separation from Peter thta brought us closer, I think. Neither of us realized how much we cared for the other, and how much we'd depended on each other." She smiles. "It's a thought at the very least." Another far-away look. "Peter's like that too, actually. I can talk to him for days, beat him over the head with a bit of hard wood, and he doesn't get it. However, it is the few blessed times that I do get through that it's all worth it. It does happen, and sometimes with stubborn people like our brothers, well, we have to wait and live for those few times."

*grins* I'm not very good at evading questions, mostly because my deplorable temper gets the better of me. I have a hard time letting things go. *wryly* I'm just as stubborn as Thom, and if something isn't working, I push and push until I make it work. The problem is, although such an approach might work when learning the sword, it often doesn't work with human beings.

*grins at Val* We are much alike then, you and I. I would fight to the death for those I love.
*Alanna stares blankly at a nearby wall as she listens to Val recount her relationship with Peter.*

Thom and I have seen more of each other these last two months than we did for ten years. Easily. We spent most of our youth apart. I will never forget saying goodbye to him once we reached the Great Road South. I knew... nothing would ever be the same. I hoped... I thought we would regain some of our early bond, our easy rapport, if I stayed here for awhile. To some extent, we have. *smirks* Where you around the night we switched places? It's moments like those that give me hope. Unfortunately, the hope does not balance out and explain away the duty.

"That's the one thing that separates my two brothers, actually. Ender was trained in the military, to use people as tools, however, he very much dislikes that view, preferring to think of people as distinct entities. Peter, well, he inherently uses people as tools, just as you use your sword. Perhaps the sword training your giving him is good for him. The bar has done odd things to him. It's retained some aspects of his personality and lost others." She ponders for a moment. "He seems less driven, less manipulative, almost not like the Peter I remember." She grins however, a twinkle in her eyes. "I would fight with the last energy I had for those I love, no matter what happened to me." She ponders for a moment. "Sometimes it takes a while to gt bas a relationship you had at one point in time. I was, alas, not here the night you switched places, however, I have heard stories of it." She grins. "I think you're on your way to getting your relationship with Thom back. It might take a bit, but it'll come. I think you've come pretty far from what I've seen."

*snorts* Interesting. I fought tooth and nail to train as a knight. We were taught a rigorous code of honor and swore to defend the weak. Thom, however, opted for sorcery. He's the one that tends to use people as tools. By the Gods, he used to use me as much as the next person. He stole inside my head one All Hallows Eve and depleted my Gift. *sideways glance* He needed the magic to bring Roger back. Clearly, a worthwhile use of my energy.

*sobers* Get our relationship back? We'll see. *She thinks about tomorrow and the decision she made. Suddenly, she realizes how much she wants to let it all out, unburden herself of the worries, self-doubt, guilt and pain. She lays her head down on her folded arms and tries not to let any tears fall. It's just all... too much. She spies the flower a few feet away and manages a weak smile.*

Peter never should have started beating the bar with his head. It's contagious.

"I've been the writer of us all. I chronicle things, I'm there for Ender when he needs someone. I promised myself when I left Earth, though that no one would ever again tell me what I had to write, who I had to write like. I kept up my persona, but changed it gently to make it a bit closer to me, make it more what I'm like. I guess I'm the most subtle of us all. I work behind the scenes." Eves concerned, Val reaches over and puts a hand on Alanna's shoulder. "No beating your head on the bar. I'll have to tell her to produce pillows whenever people do that. Alanna, I'm here for you if you want to talk, if you want someone to listen. That's why I'm here."

*Turning her head to the side, Alanna regards Val with blurry eyes.*

Thank you, Val. *Sits up and takes another sip of tea. The medicine is starting to work. Inhaling deeply, she struggles for calm.* Based on what Lochiel showed me, I suspect Tortall will soon be at war again. I can't imagine how. I... it doesn't make any sense. Jon has the Dominion Jewel. No one in their right mind would challenge his rule.

*sighs* I need to make sure. I need to go home for awhile.

Impulsively, but gently, Val reaches over to hug Alanna tight, her eyes emotional, but firmly kind. "We'll miss you, but it sounds like they need you at home. I'd offer to go with you, but I think the bar has other ideas for me. Home and family is always first, though. Go and make sure things are going alright, and if you can, come back to us."

*Alanna does well up at this, a few stray frustrated tears trailing down her cheeks as she reaches up and squeezes Val's arm.*

I wish you could both come with me. There's so much I would love to show you. Peter would love the Bazhir. *shyly* At least I think he would. *looks up* I'm going to try and return, but I don't know how I got here to begin with. Hopefully, the Goddess will show me the way back.

*groans* That's the hard part. Family is here. Home is there.

*She doesn't want to think about all the possible repercussions of her decision. She doesn't want to think about not seeing Val and Peter again. It hurts. She flat out refuses to even think about Thom.*

Val smiles kindly at Alanna, hugging her tight again. "I'm sure Peter would love it. I'd tell you to take pictures, but there aren't cameras in your world." Woe. Much woe. "Someone told me once that one's heart alwys finds the place that it wants to be the most. Since your family, and all the people you love are here, I'm certain you'll be able to find your way back." There are a couple stubborn tears in her emotional eyes as well. She rummages in her apron, finally pulling out a hankie with flowers embroidered on it. The embroidery isn't that wonderful, but it's there nonetheless. "Take this with you. I made it one day when I was bored and had writer's block. Perhaps having something from Milliways will help you get back here. The bar gave me the thread, and I copied the pattern of some of Anthy's roses out back. I know it looks horrid, but, hey. It's a hankie." She looks sheepish. "You're making the right desicion, Alanna. I'm sure of it. Just come back with lots of stories for us all."

*Alanna takes the handkerchief thankfully and gives Val a proper hug.*

It's lovely. Thank you. I'm sure I don't deserve anything this fine, but you have no idea how much this means to me. Maybe it will help get me back. I'm never short on stories, lass. Just you wait. I'll see if I can bring back some small gifts for you two as well. *winks*

*sobers* Should you see Thom... could you tell him for me? Just... tell him I had to go. I'll most likely leave a letter with the bar, but just in case...

*woe*

Val hugs her back one lonely tear falling on the other girl's shoulder. "Take care of yourself, Alanna, and come back. I don't want to be forever wondering if you got hurt or something. Heck, you're the closest thing to a sister I've ever had. Promise me you'll at least try to come back, if just for long enough to tell us all you're alright?" Val chokes for a moment, swallowing the frog in her throat. "I'll be happy to talk to Thom for you, or give him a letter or something. She smiles, the emotion still in her eyes.

*Shocked by Val's tears, she squeezes her close again then backs away, smiling.* Any more of that and you know I'm not going to be able to go anywhere. I could not ask for a better friend or near sister, so rest assured that I will do everything within my power to return. Besides, I'm employed here. I do not take such oaths lightly. With any luck, I am over-analyzing the situation entirely and can move between Tortall and Milliways with appalling ease. Wouldn't that make me feel silly?

*clears her throat* Just making sure he receives the letter I leave him would set my mind at ease. Thank you, Val. Whether or not he reads it... only the Goddess can say. He never cared much for my writing style.

*She smiles hesitantly, hoping to make the other girl smile in return. She desperately wants to add something about Peter but can't seem to formulate a coherent thought.*

Val does smile, laughing a bit through her sad eyes. "Peter always said that my writing was too empathic for my character. Then again, I showed him, by getting more recognition thank he did." She smiles again. words failing her for a moment. "I never was good at saying bye, especially when I didn't know if it would be forever." She looks up, an ironic smile on her face. "I cried when I left earth to go be with Ender. Not because of leaving Earth, not because of leaving my parents, but because of leaving -Peter-. As much as I distrusted him, he was always there." She half-smiles. "No one knows that, actually, not even Ender."

*Unsure of what to say, Alanna gives Val another hug. She wipes one eye with the back of her hand and maneuvers Val toward a stool.*

As much as Thom disturbed me, he was always there.