milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Atton's sitting in a booth, with a packed bag to one side of him, head bowed and shuffling pazaak cards. He may not even notice he's doing it. He's a tiny bit pale, and he's biting his lip slightly, but you'd have to get up close to really notice that.

There's alcohol on the table, but it looks like it hasn't been drunk at all, and a notepad with several half completed notes.

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"You really are going, huh?"

Gavin smiles awkwardly as he stands in front of Atton's booth, eying the bag and cards and alcohol. He had hoped Atton was kidding cause even if it's just for a few days, he's going to miss him.

Atton looks up at Gavin, nodding slightly.
"Yep. Not for long, though. You'll hardly notice I'm gone. Want to sit?"

"Yeah. Um, okay." He takes a seat in the booth next to Atton, eying the back again. "So, where are you going?"

"Just to see a Hutt on Nar Shaddaa. Talk about fuel. Boring stuff." Atton shrugs, shuffling the deck of cards slightly faster and more nervously, though he doesn't notice.

"A Hutt? Fuel?" Gavin blinks. "Why?"

"A lotta stuff about Peragus being blown up and a space station at Telos having no fuels so then a deal was made with this Hutt-guy on Nar Shaddaa and now he's inflating prices and apart from the part where things are blown up, it's all really dull," Atton replies, pausing for a second. "Right. I wanted to tell you something, and it's ..." He shuffles the cards slightly faster. "... Probably going to make you hate me, or somethin' along those lines."

His eyes move from the bag to the cards and then back up at Atton, and Gavin gulps as a sudden wave of fear comes over him. He hasn't felt this worried - this frightened - in a long time.

""

He's afraid and nervous and wondering what it is that could make him hate Atton. He is coming back, right? This isn't all some sort of bantha fodder? He won't dissappear. Won't abandon him, right?

Atton looks round and stares at a particularly interesting spot on the wall.
"Right, I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to blurt it all out incoherantly. I've been lieing to you. 'Least by omission," He pauses for a second. "My name's only been Atton for ... less than five years, now. I'm a murderer. I used to be part of the Sith, hunting down and killing Jedi," He struggles to get the last bit out for a moment. "And I probably should've told you this before you got involved with me. Isn't fair for me to drop it on you now so if you want to go and pretend we never met or somethin' then ..."

That. That wasn't what Gavin expected at all. Atton's a Sith? Or used to be? Atton's not his real name?

Emperor's black bones.

He takes a deep breath, struggling to understand all this. Corran's never given him any advice on what to do if your boyfriend turns out to, well, not be the person you thought he was. Quite literally.

Gavin runs a hand through his hair and then through his goatee, eying Atton. "So, um."

Where to start?

"What's your real name then?"

Atton doesn't look away from the wall.
"Jaq."

"Jaq?" Gavin repeats it softly, questioning it's sound. It sounds weird on his tongue. He likes Atton better.

"Oh."

"But my name is Atton. It has been for years now." Atton shrugs one shoulder, looking up at a different spot on the wall. It is rather less interesting than the other one was.

But he's a Sith. Or was a Sith. Or something. Like Darth Vader.

Except. Except he's Atton, too.

"What made you change?"

"Just couldn't do it anymore. Started having problems functioning. Stole a ship and left for Nar Shaddaa." Atton shrugs one shoulder again, frowning slightly.

"...a change of heart?"

"Somethin' like that. Bit more extreme."

"Extreme how?"

With news like this, Gavin can't help but want answers. Kriff. Atton had been lying to him. Sort of. By omission. But still. A Sith? Atton?

"Just ... I just wasn't able to do it, anymore. I couldn't."

"Well, that's um. That's good, right?"

He blinks and pokes Atton's shoulder in an attempt to get him to look at him.

""

"Right." Atton agrees, turning his head slightly in Gavin's direction, but not looking at him. More looking at a point halfway between where he was looking before and where Gavin is.

Gavin slowly lifts his hand to Atton's face, moving it to better look at him. "Why didn't you tell me, then?"

"It's not really somethin' you go around telling people and I figured that you wouldn't want to know me if you knew," He pauses for a second. "Still pretty certain you're going to decide to go and never talk to me again."

"But you're not him anymore. Jag, I mean. Um..."

Gavin takes a deep breath and blinks, shaking his head.

"Um, right?"

"'Course I'm not." Atton replies, setting his pazaak cards down on the table and stuffing his hands into his pockets. "I'd tell you if I was." It's not a very good piece of evidence, but it's the best Atton can come up with on the spot.

Gavin nods and then scratches at his goatee again.

"So, um. Was, um. "

"No!" Atton frowns, biting his lip. "'Course not. Just no."

"Are you sure?"

"'Course I'm sure."

"Okay."

Sure is a good thing. Right? Cause, well, it's good. It means Atton likes him and maybe...was. Was works okay, right?

"And no more Sith stuff?"

"No more Sith stuff." Atton nods.

"Okay," he replies with a slight grin. "That's good then."

Atton gives Gavin a slightly nervous smile.
"Are we okay, then?"

"Yeah. I think so."

He returns the smile with a nervous one of his own.

Atton's smile becomes a little bit less nervous at that.
"Good."

"I'm glad. No more lies?"

"Only for the purpose of stealing your lomin ale," Atton grins. "Apart from that, though, no more lies."

That gets a wide grin. "Okay."

"Okay." Atton echoes, grinning broadly and sliding an arm round Gavin's shoulders, slightly tentatively.

Gavin smiles and leans against Atton to reassure him that nothing's wrong. "When are you leaving?"

"Today," Atton replies. "Got my bag packed and everything."

"Do we have a little time together before you go?"

"Sure we do," Atton grins. "Leaving can wait a bit."

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