milliways_bar | (no subject)

"Um...excuse me? If I could have everyone's attention for a minute."

The hustle and bustle of the bar continues a pace, as if he'd said nothing at all.

"Hello? Can I have your attention, please."

Still nothing. There are drinks being drunk and foods being eaten and hub-bubs to bub.

"Okay...that's it."

A near ear piercing whistle makes it's way through the din. You'd almost expect a fleet of taxis to pull up along side the dirty-blonde haired man standing behind Bar. After all, that's what whistles like that are cultivated for in the first place.

"Thank you. Uh,...I guess I have an announcement to make. Um...first things first. Apologies to those who've had questionable...uh...bar-fare in the last couple of days. There's a refund coming your way if you were inconvenienced in any way. It's been a rough week of transition for everyone involved, and we appreciate your patience.

This brings me to my second point, um...for the time being...."

At this turn of phrase he winces slightly, as if someone had just poked him rather hard in the brain.

"...I will be assuming the role of Head Barman. So uh...yeah. If you've got any concerns, let me know I'll do what I can. If you have any complaints...please keep in mind that I am a highly trained ninja that can kill you in your sleep.

Okay with that said...the Bar is open."

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"That would be me! Did I offer you a little weenie once?"

Logan thinks, then says very seriously, "If you did I have purposely blocked it out of my memory. Might have been during a bartending shift of yours, though."

Pause.

"Did I accept?"

"You know, I've stuffed people with more weenies, it's hard to keep track."

"That's a tragedy," Logan says, sighing and shaking his head, his eyes dancing. "I must have refused. I'm pretty sure you'd remember me."

"Oh yeah? Is your appetite for sausage unmatched by mere mortals?"

"It is," he says. "I mean, I am clearly a man of immense appetites, and I can do some damage to meat products in general."

Logan's at his queeniest today, it seems. ~~Mun's brain? Committing suicide. Rob Thomas would be proud.~~

"Well that's normal. I mean, you are a growing lad after all. Now's the time when you can do that sort of thing without worry about future ramifications."

"Excellent point. I'm in good health, reasonably bright and awfully lucky. Stuffing my face seems like a pretty good way to waste my youth."

"There are worst ways. Like say...fighting evil ninjas bent on world domination."

"I dunno if that's worse," Logan says. "So much as 'more likely to make you immediately dead.' Which in my book kinda equals work, but some people get kicks from that kinda shit, you know?"

"Do I ever."

He says with an emphatic roll of the eyes.

"Yeah, I bet you do," Logan says, laughing. "Sounds like a rough like. Did you win?"

"Still standing, that has to account for something...right?"

"Some days it's the only thing that counts," Logan says lightly.

"And on those days, it counts twice."

Logan's smile is very bright. It's clear he agrees.

"You know," he says thoughtfully. "I think you're going to make a damn fine Head Barman."

"Why thank you. I'm pretty sure my success is assured by two very strong personal qualities of mine. One, I'm a very reasonable and understanding guy. Two, I have a great ass. You'd be amazed at the number of things you can get away with when you have a great ass."

"Not me," Logan says. "I have it on very good authority that my ass is pretty fine."

If you can't trust Lilly Kane on that score, who can you trust?

"Are we grading on a curve?"

With some dignity, Logan says, "I don't think we're grading at all. I'm merely agreeing that the power of a fantastic ass should not be overlooked."

Pause. "Now, if grading were involved, I feel we'd need some objective judges. Preferably female types."

Mike looks around the bar.

"Anyone in particular in mind?"

Logan shakes his head. "If she's cute, I'm all for it," he says. "And also, not dating you would probably be good. That'd probably bias the judge, don't you think?"

"Dang. There goes that idea."

"I'd accept a three-judge panel," Logan says, laughing. "That could be fair enough."

Mike considers this.

"I think that's agreeable."

Mike eyes the bar again looking for likely ladies to help with this most serious of competitions.

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obligatoryass - 2006-06-23 03:09 (UTC) - Expand

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