milliways_bar | (no subject)

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"Billy Liar's got his hands in his pockets
Staring over at the neighbor's, knickers down.
He's got his knickers down."

Sings the happy-go-lucky Head Bar-ex-turtle.
He's behind Bar with a HUGE stack of papers in front of him.
There are crayons.

Fear.

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"Nice to meet you too, Mike. And to answer your question, I'd like a hot chocolate if it's not too much trouble." She smiles cutely up at him. Matilda is good with the cute.

"You can't order just a hot chocolate."

He says, his face going stern.

She blinks up at him, confused and adorable. "Whyever not? I do it all the time. Sometimes I get one for me and one for a friend."

"Because we don't serve just hot chocolate."

"...What do you serve then?"

"Forbidden chocolate."

This occasions the raise of an eyebrow.

"What's forbidden chocolate?"

"I can't tell you."

This occasions the raise of another eyebrow.

"...Why on earth not?"

"It's forbidden."

He wiggles his fingers in a mysterious manner.

If Matilda snarkfaces any harder, her snark might just fall off. Or do we mean her face? It's hard to tell.
In any case.
SNARK.

"...Why's it forbidden?"

Mike misses both the snark and her face because he's too busy chuckling to himself that the joke actually worked.

It's good that he missed them. As they metaphorically fell off of their Matilda. Because she is snarkfacing that hard.

Hands on her hips, she gives him a Cute Glare. "I'm getting the sense I missed something here?"

"Huh? What? Oh! Only the best lead in to the most awesome joke ever."

He grins...but it slowly falls as he watches her make with the not-laughing.

"You're not laughing."

She pokes his nose.

"You're not funny."

Then she grins. "Okay, maybe you are, but you're still getting your silly humour in between me and my hot chocolate." The snarkface demands yummy beverages! Bow to the snarkface!

His nose twitches in its post-poked'ness.

"Okay, you may have a point there. I'm going to need some help here. I mean, you can't just order a hot chocolate when we've got every kind of chocolate ever made back here for ingredients. I'm going to need some help.

Milk or Dark? Rich or thin? Spicy, bitter or sweet? Marshmallows or Whipped Cream?"

"...There are differences? Er, wow. I usually just ask for, y'know, hot chocolate. The normal sort. But..."

There is Pondering.

"...Milk, rich, sweet, marshmallows and whipped cream. Since you asked." She gives him a bright smile as she ticks off all these answers on her fingers, then folds her hands neatly and regards him. At no point has she giggled at his post-poky nosetwitching, which is quite the accomplishment considering.

"Oh there's no kidding around here when it comes to chocolate. Go big, or go home, that's what I always say...when someone asks me what I think about going places."

From out of nowhere a rat appears on Bar's top.

"Some of the Belgian, shaved over low heat. Temper in some cream. And bring me a Flake bar."

She peers. And listens.

"I never knew that so much fuss could be made over hot chocolate. Waffles, now. I know those can get very fancy. I read a very large book about them."

The rat scampers off back towards the kitchen.

"Oh now don't even get me started on waffles...."

She grins and bounces up and down. "Please, start on waffles. I love them. Especially combined with fruit and various syrups."

"Well, I mean, there are all kinds. Sweet, savory. Crispy, chewy...crispy and chewy. Me personally though? I'm a traditionalist. I like the plain with nothing on them at all. Too much stuff on them and you're really just hiding the fact that you've got a sub-standard batter going on there."

An adorable grin ensues.
"But you can't manage the fruit with substandard batter. I mean, not properly. A true fruit waffle has to be perfect in all aspects. Otherwise it's just a pile of fruit on a glorified pancake. No fun at all."
Matilda loves debate, and she loves food. Debate about food is therefore the ultimate pinnacle of existence.

"Are we talking about fruit in the waffles? Or on the waffles?"

"Oh, on the waffles, of course. You can't cook fruit into waffles. Well, the book says you can, but I tried one and it was oogy."