milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

fire,
ray stantz

(no subject)

That door's been opening for an awful lot of new faces the last few days. So it shouldn't be much of a surprise when a tall, fair-haired man with a tremendous bushy mustache strolls in through the door, yelling back over his shoulder.

"The bet's $20, but no fair starting before I get back. You can wait 45 seconds while I run to the bathroom, right, Mav?"

As he walks in the door, he turns his head to watch where he's headed--and the cocksure grin draped across his face simply melts away. "Mav? I think they've done something to the men's room."

Silence answers him, and he turns to look over his shoulder with a confused look--just in time to notice a complete lack of any sort of door behind him. "Mav--the hell? How'd I get in here?"

He looks around him, and takes in much of the scope of the place. "And where the hell is here?"

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"I don't even know why I bother getting up to leave the table at this rate," says the dark-haired man sitting near the door. "This is Milliways. It's a bar. Sorry about your men's room, but it'll be there when you go back, I promise. The local men's room is through that door over there if it's an emergency."

Goose turns his head in the direction of the seemingly-friendly voice. "You know, I was just in a bar, and somehow didn't think one bar would have a door to another, but..." He shrugs and walks over to the table. "You sound like confused patrons are almost normal."

"It is for new arrivals, actually," Ray says. "I can't think of too many people who've ever come here on purpose the first time. Eventually, yeah, but not at first. It's a hazard of being located at the end of the universe- you connect to all kinds of places and times, seemingly at random. Before you tell me that sounds crazy or impossible, ask yourself why else there'd be a bar in the john."

"Back up to the part about the end of the universe, and fly that by me one more time."

For answer, Ray turns and points at the Window.

See Goose. See Goose stare. Stare, Goose, stare.

Then fumble for a chair and sit down heavily with the shock of what you're staring at--and the feeling of being enraptured by the pure beauty of it.

"I-I copy now." He looks over to his seeming-guide-to-this-place. "Do I want to know how the universe can end and still have a bar continue afterwards, or would my head explode?"

"I don't know about exploding, but there'd probably be a nosebleed or two involved," Ray says after some thought. "Depends how good you are at math. The simplest explanation would be to say 'it's not done ending yet, so we're still here'. Fair? My name's Ray Stantz, by the way. Hi."

"Probably not enough, but that will do." He nods and tosses a casual salute. "I'm Goose. Nice to meet you--and thanks."

"No problem," says Ray. "First thing you need to know as long as you're here: the first drink's free. This is important, because I can pretty much guarantee that within the next fifteen minutes or so there's gonna be enough pure concentrated weirdness to make you really want that drink."

"I'm pretty sure I do anyway. Getting a free drink not on your birthday is a rare occasion. Should probably think up something good. What kind of selection does this place have, anyhow?"

He's trying not to think much on the promise of the weird.

"Pretty much anything you can think of," Ray says. "At least, I've never seen them fail to come up with an order, except when someone's been cut off for drinking too much. Ask one of the rats- they're on the wait staff."

He points to the rodent that's just scurried into view bearing a drink tray.

Goose half-crawls up on his chair before eaisng his feet back down. "Okay, you know what? I know you said this place was weird, but... is there anything normal about this place? Something I can cling to that tells me I'm not passed out somewhere on the base or something?"

He glances over in the direction of the bar, and notices the lack of a bartender on duty--and still about a half-dozen people sitting at the bar. "And isn't there a bartender on duty?"

"The bar's voice activated, like on Star Trek," Ray says. "They don't always need a bartender. If it's normal you want, I'd suggest the back yard. The weather's kind of a downer at the moment, but it's pretty reassuringly ordinary out there."

As long as he doesn't wander into the woods, the stables, or the deep part of the lake.

"Except the part where I've never heard of a bar having a backyard." He shakes his head slowly. "I'll take normal where I can get it, though." He thinks for a minute, before shrugging, "And a voice-activated Bar sounds like fun. I know they've started to do some fun things with computers, so..."

"I have no idea what it's doing out there, but it's probably the most ordinary thing about the place. I try not to think about it too hard. There's too many other things competing for brain space."

He smiles. "Go ahead and try it. Just walk up and ask it for whatever it is you want. You'll see."

Goose takes a long glance at the bar, shrugs and stands. "You know, I think I will. Thanks for the help, Ray." He kaunters slowly over to the bar, waiting for more weird things to surprise him.

And maybe along the way, someone can tell me how to leave.

"Milliways," coming from the woman with the long red hair and the glass of red wine, watching him fron a table.

"New arrival, love?"

"Thanks, and yes." Goose turns in the direction of the voice--and is stunned by the beauty sittng nearby. And red wine...

"So, Miss, uh... whe-where exactly is... Milliways?"

"Where," says Fire thoughtfully, "is a very hard question."

"When might be the question to ask."

"O...kaaayy ... is everyone here going to be cryptic and confuse me, or is this just the new-guy rite?"

She shrugs.

"Milliways. The Bar at the end of the universe, speaking in terms of time. Home to several deities, personifications, and people with really bad hair."

"Home to several wha...?" Goose pales significantly.

"Okay, this isn't funny anymore. Did Iceman put you up to this, or what?"

"Deities," Fire repeats patiently, "personifications, and people with really bad hair."

She eyes him.

"No. I don't know who he is. Although he sounds terribly cold."

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