milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Roderick's mood, over the past few days, had been improving.

Had been.

When he awoke this morning, his throat had clenched and sent him into a violent coughing fit -- one that produced blood with each choked gasp. Thoughts of Madeline had invaded his mind yet again during the night, plaguing him with nightmares that made him scream in his sleep and sweat cold bullets that drip dropped in his dreams like rain.

But he's downstairs, now, in a chair near the fire with legs curled under his faintly trembling form. In his hands is a mug of tea just warm enough to be sipped at without hesitation, mixed with honey and lemon to soothe his aching throat.

When control is once again beginning to slip from his grasp, there's no hiding it.

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"Oh? What ails you?"

Again, a reminder.

He is not alone.

"Oh, um. I had... I went through a withdrawal recently. From drugs." She runs a hand through her hair. "I'm still not quite back to normal."

"Like Miniver?"

"Well, different drugs, but... yeah. Like Miniver. I think it must run in the family," she adds dryly.

Roderick's illness runs in the family, as well.

He doesn't say anything as he begins to mull details over in his mind.

"Why..." he ventures, "Would you put such a substance in your body, then, if you know it will cause you such pain?"

April lets out a short laugh. "You know, Boromir - my boyfriend, that is - he asked me the same thing. And I..." she shakes her head. "Because for a while, you get to... not hurt. You get to forget. And for a little while it seems worth it. And then it hurts too much to stop."

Roderick eyes her for a moment.

"Miniver and I seemed - for a moment - to be on the same boat, but... when you bring such a thing upon yourself? I'm sorry, but it's... mind-boggling, to me."

She shakes her head. "It... it's not like that while you're taking it. It's... you start to need it, but unless you have to go a long time without, it doesn't get more than annoying. Like a sore muscle. It's when you..." she pauses and swallows hard, "when you decide to be strong and give it up that... that it really gets you."

Her mouth twists into a sardonic smile. "It's stupid as hell to use, and I knew it. But I thought it would somehow be different for me."

With that description, Roderick's mind ventures to tell him that Madeline is a drug.

He looks contemplative as he stares into his mug, fingers moving slowly against its porcelain sides.

People can be as much of an addiction as a substance.

"So... Um... tell me something about yourself. What's your favorite book?"

"I have many."

Sometimes, conversation with Roderick can be difficult.

April is not going to give up.

"Yeah, I know the feeling. What's one of them?"

"I enjoy Shakespeare."

He's running through the list in his mind.

"Macbeth."

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