milliways_bar | (no subject)

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It's a good day.

SARAH's door appears, right next to her sign affixed by Ray Stantz:

The door to the right of this sign, and the rooms behind it, are part of SARAH, a self-aware house and machine intelligence. SARAH is fond of visitors, human and otherwise, and welcomes meeting new people. She is not paranormal or supernatural in any way that I can tell.

-Dr. Raymond Stantz, Ghostbusters

But more than that?

She's going to have residents. The new Sheriff!

"I really must tell Doctor Fargo I want to rearrange the living room," SARAH says to no one in particular, voice echoing up from the concrete stairway beyond her steel door.

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In fact, a talking doorway is far less than helpful in this particular case.

"No, thank you, it's only that--"

As she answers, Roslin turns to face whoever's addressing her, only to see the open door and the sign.

She takes a quick step backward.

"Why does everyone do that?"

For a mechanical voice, it does sound a bit frustrated.

"I'm just a house."

"'Just' a house? I'm afraid I must beg to differ."

She nods to SARAH's sign.

"You're 'a self-aware house and machine intelligence', if this notice is correct."

"It makes most people feel better if I say that I am just a house. I am assuming you are not one of those people."

"It's nice to meet you, then."

"Really."

"I can't exactly say the same, but..."

For all the underlying acidity in her words, she's not moving away.

"You're nothing like what I expected."

SARAH understands exactly what the lady means.

"I'm much prettier on the inside. I am even getting redecorated -- spruced up before anyone moves in."

"Moves in?"

"You can't possibly be serious."

"I am a smart house."

To SARAH, this answers both the incredulity and the idea that she can't be serious. This is her job.

"I would not have much reason to be programmed as I am if I don't have residents."

"Who programmed you?"

"Doctor Douglas Fargo, as a project for Global Dynamics, the company at the center of Eureka, where I was constructed. Are you familiar with Eureka? I do not have you on file as living in town."

Roslin doesn't answer at first. She adjusts her glasses, then looks at SARAH's door in silence for some moments.

"I'm not familiar, no."

Another long silence, and then she says -- pleasantly, almost conversationally --

"Answer me this question, if you don't mind. Are you familiar with Cylon technology?"

"I am. My international business directory is quite extensive."

A short pause.

"I do not have an exterior monitor to display my findings, but the largest corporation I found under the name Cylon Technology is a South African company (http://www.cylon.biz/) specializing in accounting software."

A choked, bitten-off exclamation can't quite be stifled, and Roslin just stares at the doorway.

"Accounting software?"

"You are familiar with the concept of accounting?" SARAH asks politely. "According to the dictionary, accounting is -- "

"Don't you dare be facetious with me," she snaps, taking two swift steps forward.

"Do you think this is a joke? Does a-- do you even think?"

"I process outside stimuli for both immediate comprehension and long-term analysis, if that is what you mean by whether or not I 'think'."

SARAH definitely does not understand Milliways -- outside of one person, she's been treated with everything between outright fear to now, disrespect.

"...I was trying to be helpful, ma'am."

If there were ever anything that could bring home the difference between machine intelligence and human, as if Roslin needed it to be clarified, SARAH's response would be it.

It's the second part of the answer that gives her pause.

"Helpful."

"I would not be so enthusiastic to call out to strangers who may be impolite to me if I did not desire to be helpful."

There's a long, long silence, and then a quiet sigh.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to this place."

"You and me both."

SARAH doesn't sigh. That would require lungs, not computer chips.

She doesn't like the idea of having anything in common with a machine, and it's visible in the way her lips tighten, but Roslin lets it pass.

"I expect I should apologize."

The statement itself isn't an apology, but it may well stand for something approximating one. It'll have to, at any rate.

"It might clear things up for you to know that where I'm from, Cylons are machine intelligences who are at war with humanity."

And we're losing.

"Where I am from, the primary battle between machine and human is how to program one's TiVo."

"Mine is based on vocal commands -- no programming required."

"I've no idea what that - a 'TiVo,' did you say? - what that is."

"A system of recording television broadcasts for viewing purposes at a later date. Do you not have television in your universe?"

"I'm familiar with the concept," Roslin informs her, levelly.