milliways_bar | (no subject)

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The doctor is in

Guppy is by the infirmary, making a set of cushion covers. By tomorrow, he expects to have a sofa to put them on.

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Bicycles (http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail178.html)?

Who needs bicycles?

Especially when you don't haven any visible arms.

And your bike's gotten stolen by Strong Bad and Marzipan, respectively.

So Homestar's rolling on by on a unicycle.

He backtracks a little when he gets to the good doctor, pedaling in place.

"Hey, my bromide! What's going on?"

"Very well, my hydrogen 'star, assuming there's no further meaning in that. How are you?"

He blinks at the unicycle, but hey, it's Homestar.

He shrugs.

"My bike's getting passed around on the CGNU campus. Man, those bushes with cartoony eyeholes and people carrying clipboards are relentless. So's I got me this sweet ride."

He looks at the cushion covers.

"What're those?"

"Cushion covers. Did your bike get pinched?" Guppy asks, concerned.

"Yeah, but I think Marzipan's gots it now. Which means she'll gives it back to me."

That's what boyfriends do. They let their girlfriends steal back their bicycles.

"Or better yet, we won't have to share anymore. She could keep the bike for when her band goes on toours."

"Well let me know if they won't give it back, and I'll have to come with you and sort them out." Guppy says, feeling protective of his little friend.

"All right, but in the meantime, I'ma work on this. Maybe I could be one of those guys that rides this here one-wheeler on a wire or something."

As if the circus doesn't already want him.

" 'Sides, you know how Strong Bad is. All's I gotta do if he's bothering me is either buttdance or get Strong Sad to prance around in a leotard."

Guppy laughs.

"You're certainly better at it than I am."

"I do try."

He bounces a little on his wheel, essentially doing a wheelie on the unicycle.

"Soooo, what you got cushion covers for?"

"For putting cushions in."

"Whacha need cushions for?"

Bounce. Bounce.

"You makin' a pillow fort?"

Those are even better than cardboard box forts!

Bounce! Bounce!

"No, I just moved house and I don't have much furniture."

"Oh my crap! House party!"

He hops off of the unicycle.

"I'll bring the fondue!"

"Good point, I should have a housewarming at some point. When I have furniture."

Homestar blows a raspberry.

"Who needs furniture for a party when you could be dancing?"

"Well I can't do that with my weeny little CD walkman can I?"

"We could always get a boombox. Strong Sad's pretty nice about letting me borrow his."

They might have to listen to some sloshy, though.

"That would be a good plan." He grins.

Okay, so fondue pot from Strong Bad, boombox from Strong Sad.....

"Anything else we might need?"

"People? And maybe some chairs. Though I will have a sofa tomorrow, until now I've been sharing a bean bag with the dog."

"Beanbag?"

Those things are made of cool!

"Dog?"

That only sweetens the deal.

"Man, you're lucky!"

"I sort of acquired the dog. She owned the house."

"Is she the big cuddly type or the itsy bitsy squishy type?"

In other words, grown up dog or puppy?

Guppy looks under the table and prods one of the smaller, fluffier cushions, which uncurls.

It's about nine months old, and comes up to just under a foot when standing up fully. And she looks something like a cross between a black and white spaniel and a chihuahua. She has thick black curls on her forehead and looks suspiciously like a small dog version of her owner.

"Sparky, meet Homestar."

"Sparky?"

He leans down for a closer look.

"Sparky!"

And there are invisable scritches.

Sparky barks and licks the invisible scritching things. Guppy grins.

"I don't normally like dogs, they scare me, but she's smaller than my cat and soft as grease, so we're okay."

Record scratch.

"Dogs scare you?"

Lip bite.

"You weren't scared any times when I called you my dog, were ya?"

"No, that's okay. Only real ones. And bigger or scarier ones than Sparky."

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