Entry post of DOOM

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

GIR! Get the voot runner ready! I have PLAAANS. And oh such plans do I haaaave!" Came the muffled, squelching voice through the door before in walked an alien. 
This alien, by the name of Zim, was green and small, was slurping on a fountain drink soda, smiling and oblivious about five steps in to the door, before large, red eyes open to see that this wasn't his lab.

"Hruh? Computer! What did you do to my lab!?" He yelled. "Computer, ANSWER ME! OBEY YOUR MASTER!"

Confused Zim needs orientation. Good luck with that.

Comments

[jokerswildwest.livejournal.com]

Okay. What?

Alex arches an eyebrow.

"Okay. Zim. Excuse this filthy stink-human for making the mistake," it's said with a lovely helping of sarcasm. "You aren't in your lab anymore."

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

His arm stayed up in the get out position but he looked up at Alex, "Hruh?"

This isn't a very smart alien.

[jokerswildwest.livejournal.com]

At least he stopped shouting. Alex looks at him, then pats the stool next to him.

"You're not in your lab anymore. This is Milliways. It's a Bar at the end of the universe that can somehow pull in people and creatures from all times and places. The first drink is free. What can Bar get you?"

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

Suspicious that the human wasn't cowering in fear before only the first of the alien scourge known as the Irken army, he hopped up onto the stool and sat there, a perpetually paranoid face staring up at Alex.

"The end of the universe? I've been there, there's no bar there! There is only dark and goo. So much goooo."

He made squishy motions with his hands.
But then he lightened up and just smiled, "I want snax. And a Poop cola."

[jokerswildwest.livejournal.com]

"Well actually, the end of the universe is over there."

He points to the observation window, where the universe happily goes about ending every fifteen minutes or so. At least, that's what he thinks the time schedule is.

"But we're very safe in here."

It takes a moment, before some snax and an ice cold Poop cola appear on the bartop. The napkin reads Welcome in curving script.

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

Zim looked outside, simultaneously grabbing the snax and munching. "Neat! I always thought it would be squishier!" He said, taking demented glee in the universe exploding, imploding and generally making nothing of itself.

He may be looking at it for a few minutes.

[jokerswildwest.livejournal.com]

The demented glee thankfully passes for shock and awe. Otherwise Alex might start looking for a bomb shelter or a table to duck and cover under, and we can't have that. Yet.

"So you say your name is Zim. Where are you from?"

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

"Well I was just on Earth, a stinky planet filled with human, stupid FILTH! No offense, but I'm Irken. My people are universally famous for invading planets, laying ruin to them and then y'know, making parking garages and megamalls out of them or whatever. We are brilliant!" He went through hand gestures the entire time, and several facial expressions.

"And I guess since this is the end of the universe, I won't have to worry about telling the humans my plots for their destruction. Since well, it's already been destroyed."

[jokerswildwest.livejournal.com]

Ooookay Zim.

"Well thankfully it just repeats itself. There are three rules in the Bar. No sex in the bar, no violence in the bar, and no business in the bar. Take it out back if you need to."

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

"Yeah yeah, right, no killing people, got it." He was back to watching the universe blow up and stuff, slurping on his soda merrily, humming to himself. "Whoa! That one was awesome!" He yelled, pointing melodramatically for a split second before returning to slurping his soda.

[jokerswildwest.livejournal.com]

Easily entertained too.

"If you get stuck here you can get a room upstairs. Not much a night."

Alex looks at him.

"What was the Earth you visited like?"

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

Hey, it was the universe dying, how couldn't he be entertained by that!

"Great, I might take one up just for research I might want to do outside of my base." Finished with the snax and cola, he turned back around to Alex, shrugging slightly.

"Enh, you know, stupid cow-brained people just waiting to be conquered. The usual, I guess."

[jokerswildwest.livejournal.com]

Alex chuckles.

"At least you're honest."

The alien seems nice enough.

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

Nice and crazy.

"Whatever. I wonder if I can somehow convince the Tallest that this was all part of my plan. Not only would I have taken over Earth, I'd have taken over the end of the universe as well! GENIUS!"

And cue the cackling.

[jokerswildwest.livejournal.com]

Crazy might be an understatement.

"Who's the tallest? And there is security here. They're pretty good...I wouldn't try a takeover without permission?"

[greatestinvader.livejournal.com]

Another wary eye was turned on the meat-sack. He rolled his eyes then, as if everyone knew, "The Tallest are our leaders, and who I personally speak to about my mission."

To the last bit, however, he got a perfectly innocent smile. "Noooo of course not, I wouldn't take over the Bar! That's just ridiculous, you're mad."