milliways_bar | (no subject)

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[ Sandford, 20 March, 1987: Happy Birthday, Sissy Skinner. Warnings for, er, references. Can you guess to what? ]

A pub is a great place to wind up in when you're having a crappy day. Voluntarily winding up in a pub where it logically would be is even better. Involuntarily winding up in a pub where your house is supposed to be is not so good. Involuntarily winding up in a pub full of animals where your blessedly animal-free house is supposed to be is even worse. It's not the same as being dumped or mocked or seeing off your vehicular baby, but it's definitely not good for one's mental constitution.

Color Simon Skinner, age 37, very WTFBBQ.

Any patron, fuzzy or non, is welcome to tell the tall guy at the door where he is.

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"Well..."

Kick carefully considers this for a moment.

"If y'did hit your head, you wouldn't remember it, would ya?"

"I'm fairly certain that I just walked in."

"And just how certain is fairly certain?"

"100% certain."

Hm.

"My uncle tells me to always give 110%."

"If I say I am 500% certain, would that convince you?"

"Maaaaaaaaaybe."

ISN'T SHE JUST ADORABLE? DON'T YOU WANT TO ~~PUNCH HER IN THE HEAD~~ PINCH HER CHEEKS?

"Fine. I am 500% certain that I walked in through my front door to here without bumping my head."

"Okay!"

Kick grins.

"Alright, you win. This isn't my house. This is Milliways."

She points to the Window, much like an airline stewardess would point to plane exits. "And that right there will do all the explaining for me, I think."

Beat.

"... please don't hit your head, now."

(She's seen people fall clear over upon first seeing the Window.)

Skinner won't fall clear over, but he will stare at it.

A lot.

Kick can wait!

She doesn't have anywhere to be, so she settles down in a chair and watches Skinner.

Eventually, Skinner mutters this pearl of wisdom:

"We're all going to die."

"Some people here already did," Kick says helpfully, legs swinging back and forth.

"Well, of course," he says derisively.

She scowls at the back of his head and folds her arms.

"There's a lot more to this place than just that window, y'know."

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