milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Atton is outside, training.

He has a dozen or so floating targets, like dartboards, zipping around him very quickly and firing stun bolts down at him from tiny holes at the sides. It's very obvious that he cobbled them together from various machines.

He's blindfolded, and he's alternating between throwing knives at them with one hand and shooting them with another, while dodging the stun bolts. Judging by the bright, chirpy green flashes and the heavy blaster scoring and multiple knife marks on and immediately around the bullseye, he's doing quite well.

He may be grinning from ear to ear, because it's reassuring to know that he's not helpless without the Force.

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"... What's that supposed to mean?"

Angrily, "I don't know!"

Atton frowns a little further.
"I just don't understand. Do we need a reason t'be together apart from being in love?"

"What about a future, Atton?" He sighs, looking away. "I really want a family someday. I want something permanent. Don't you?"

"I've never thought about it. Why would I? I'm young. For some bizarre and probably Force-y reason I don't seem t'be getting any older, 's not as if I have a shortage of time. I mean, I don't want a family right this second or anything, and I think I'd make a pretty bad father ..."

"Haven't you ever thought about it?"

Because Gavin has, and he's even younger than Atton.

"Asyr and I -- we were going to start a family, Atton. I've thought about it a lot."

"Asyr's back. You can still have a family with her if you want it," Atton points out. "And no. I've never thought about it - I've thought about surviving for as long as possible."

Gavin rolls his eyes. That's not his Asyr. That's a woman that doesn't even know him.

"Then stop surviving and start living."

"Gavin, d'you really want children right now? 'Cause I don't. I might, somewhere down the line, but not at the moment."

He shakes his head. "That's not even the point, Atton. How can we ever plan anything if we're always going to live in two separate worlds?"

"How can we not live in seperate worlds? Are you going to up and leave Rogue Squadron? Or d'you want me to abandon my brother again, or stop rebuilding the Order?"

"See?!" He's close to shouting. "This is exactly my point. We don't have anything but love."

And maybe it just turns out that love isn't enough anymore.

Atton looks like he's been slapped.

"Gavin, I don't know what you want from me." Atton protests, weakly. "I don't know what's brought this on, I don't know what I've done wrong. We have Milliways, right? 'S our home, even if we go to our own worlds t'work and stuff."

Gavin doesn't look much better himself right now.

"Then why meet my parents? Why should I even bother telling them about you if they never will meet you?"

Because he's finally figured out the truth. It's not that he is ashamed of anything. It's that he doesn't want to give them yet another uncertainty in their lives.

"Gavin, I care about you, not whether I meet your parents or even whether you tell them about me." Atton says. "We have a future here, what's to stop us from going to each other's worlds to see each other's families?"

Gavin's taken a keen interest in his feet. Quietly, "I just sort of want a future back home as well."

"I can't abandon my brother again, Gavin. I just can't. I'd have to if I went to your time - Do I really have to choose between you?"

Family is family. And the most important thing in the galaxy if you as Gavin.

"No."

Atton tilts his head to one side, watching Gavin worriedly.

He shrugs. "I'm just being selfish. Sorry."

"'S not selfish." Atton mumbles. "I'm just ... not good enough. I can't give you what you need." The last bit comes out as a growl, mostly directed at himself.

Somewhere nearby, the wind picks up rather abruptly.

Another shrug. "I want you to be good enough though."

"But I'm still not."

"Then what?"

"If you ... if you want to leave me, then 's not exactly anything I can do. I just want you t'be happy."