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Ray went back to Nunavut briefly earlier today and discovered that the assembly was still waiting for the Finns to arrive. Given what the Sami contingent of Project Pohjola is supposed to be capable of, he figures that's a good reason not to start deploying just yet. He came back to Milliways rather than wait in the Ministry of Extraordinary Threats hangar, because honestly? Anywhere is warmer than northern Nunavut right now. Yes, even Antarctica- it's summer in the land Really Down Under.

He's out back at the moment, with his training drone, his lightsaber, and his proton pack. The way he figures it, he's got to be ready to use either at a moment's notice if reality rips open in the high Arctic, so if he can't dodge or deflect incoming drone fire with a nuclear accelerator on his back then he's probably going to get splattered by something hideous and tentacular back home.

For all that he looks like some kind of Force-blind fur-bearing mammal (hooray for 1930s winter survival gear) with a load of tech strapped to its back, he's still doing a pretty good job against the drone. Practice pays off after enough years at it.

He could probably be interrupted without catastrophic results.

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Enzo wanders out the back door, squonking away on a harmonica. He's 10, so there may or may not be an actual tune in there. The patrons are probably glad he's gone outside.

He stops and stares at the spectacle for a moment. "...Dr. Stantz?" he guesses, more from the figure's actions than appearance.

"Just a minute," says Ray's voice from inside the furry hood. A few zap-rounds later, the drone finishes its pattern and falls to the ground. Ray scoops it up and pushes his hood back. "Hi, Enzo."

"Hi! I haven't seen you in like forever! What're you wearing?"

"Old-school survival gear," says Ray. "I got thrown back in time once and had to wear the clothing of the time on an expedition to the coldest place on Earth. I'm getting ready for something similar in my own time."

"Supercooled!" says Enzo ~~as the mun smacks him with a newspaper~~. "What for?"

Ray thinks about how best to render this in comprehensible terms.

"To stop a number of people with really, really screwed-up priorities from bringing about the end of the world."

Good reason.

"Are they trying to?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Ray says. "As I said, they have some extremely weird priorities."

"No kidding! Why would they want to? Wouldn't they be deleted too?"

Daemon wanted to destroy the 'Net, and she did self-destruct in the process, but that was her function, so the blame ultimately falls to the User who programmed her. Hex tried to destroy Mainframe on occasion, but... well, she's crazy. Why would Users want to destroy their world?

"Probably because they believe they can achieve some kind of incredible power in the process and use it to escape the world's ending somehow," Ray says. "Not to mention all the destruction they'll get to cause on the way to the end of the world- some people are fonder of that than anybody ever ought to be."

"But where'll they live?"

"Who knows? Other planets, or more likely other dimensions- that kind of thing isn't entirely unknown. I don't know the details of the bargains they make with the powers of destruction, so I couldn't really say."

Well, as long as they know what they're getting into. Never bargain with the powers of darkness without a contingency plan!

"How're you gonna stop them?"

"Fighting whatever horrors they unleash, and removing whatever preparations they've made that make it possible for the real world-enders to materialize and start acting," Ray says. "FOr starters."

"Need any help?"

He's a Guardian. A ~~system~~world's in danger. He can't not at least ask.

"I've already got volunteers," Ray says. "But thank you anyway."

"You're welcome."

Fortunately, the function-urges do let up if someone else is able to handle a task. Otherwise, every Game to land in the Supercomputer would be mobbed with Guardians getting in each other's way.

"Who've you got?"

"Garion of Riva, Captain Kirk, Agent K, the Flying Squirrel, Moon Shadow, the Exploder Wizard... um... that's about it from here. We've got some extra people back in my world, too, along with the other GHostbusters."

"The Exploder Wizard?" Even though he knows what 'wizard' means to Users, Enzo instinctively imagines a sprite who teaches people to blow stuff up. "Cool!"

Ray nods. "Oh yes. His name's Dark Schneider. The man knows his business if anybody ever did."

"Blowing stuff up?" Seems like a valid calling to Enzo!

"Among other things, yeah. But I"ve only seen him in action blowing stuff up, so I can't vouch for the quality of the rest of his abilities."

"If you blow stuff up good enough, you don't gotta do other things!"

And we wonder how he turned into Matrix. Okay, maybe it's just the fact that he's a ten-year-old boy.

"Oh, come now," says Ray. "There's more to it than that. If you blow stuff up, you have to be able to outrun the explosion, don't you?"

"Oh yeah. Don't wanna blow yourself up too."

Otherwise you're in the same boat as world-destroyers who haven't arranged another world beforehand.

Ray nods. "I've been in the middle of enough explosions to know just how bad of an idea that can be. Especially if you hit anything on the way out of the explosion."

Enzo considers this.

"...ow."

"Stone walls? Not fun. Even if they were already exploding outward when you got thrown into them."

"Ow. ...which is worse, a whole wall or bits?"

This is Dr. Stantz. Of course he can answer from personal experience.

"It really depends on what the wall is made of," Ray says. "Certain types of stone wall material fragment into sharper, more angular pieces than others. I'd rather hit one of those when it's whole and get the wind knocked out of me and crack several ribs and have a concussion than get my back shredded by winding up in the middle of a fragstorm."

Language, Ray! Enzo's got enough bad influences as it is.

Both of those sound like major owies. "Keep up in Physical Fitness so I can outrun explosions. Check."

Ray means it literally, though. Actual blowing-around fragments of rock. Nothing to do with magnetic media at all.

"And make sure you get duck-and-cover down pat. Sometimes you can't outrun the blastwave, so the best you can do is take cover or protect your vitals."

Tell that to Dot. ;-)

Enzo nods, taking mental notes. The mun doesn't know what a sprite's vitals are, but they must have some somewhere.

"What else?" If the kid ends up specializing in demolitions, Dot will know who to blame.

Well, the head and neck are always a good place to start.

"Generally a human who gets caught in an explosion winds up deaf as a post for at least a couple of hours afterwards," Ray says after some thought. "That might be something for sprites to bear in mind."

True, they do have a central nervous system. ~~That's the only thing established in canon, actually. Braaaains...~~

"Okay. Thanks!" What a fun little tutorial!

"No problem. Forty years spent in the alchemy department of the University of Melcena ought to be of some use beyond 'oh, hey, I can make glass as strong as steel'."

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