(no subject)

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

The problem with Bumblebee's approach to learning about humans is that it occasionally comes into direct conflict with staying hidden from most of them. Learning about- for example- competitive cooking is easy in the first stages; you watch every episode of "Iron Chef" ever made, and then you watch the spinoffs. (Bobby Flay's a jerk, in Bumblebee's opinion.) Then you pull down the history of the subject from the Internet and go through as much of that as possible. Then you get the idea that the best way to understand it is to try and do it yourself...

While we can all be thankful that the world was spared Bumblebee taking that approach to his last interest in wildly popular human activity, the fact remains that it is very difficult for a sixteen-foot-tall robot to learn to cook the sorts of things he sees on Iron Chef and other competitive cooking shows without somebody asking why entire truckloads of asparagus, or Berkshire pork, or (God help us all) natto are being delivered to an obscure military base. The equipment would have to be kitbashed, too, although that's not so much of a problem.

On the other hand...

There's a very thoughtful gleam in Bumblebee's optics as he approaches the Bar today. This does not dissuade Bar from issuing him knife catalogs- several of them- when he asks.

Comments

[wheels-spun.livejournal.com]

"Someone is busy today. Or intends to be busy."

Here's someone who rarely makes an appearance in-bar, but, well, why not today?

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

"I've been hoping to learn about the food-making process humans consider entertaining," says Bumblebee. "Hello there."

[wheels-spun.livejournal.com]

For those who are reading this, today Wheel looks like what someone would call a television chef [insofar as television chefs have a look].

Female even.

There you go.

"And what have you learned so far?"

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

"Many, many recipes," says Bumblebee, "but that's only memorization. I have yet to actually make anything. In fact, I have yet to handle the tools."

He doesn't sound too worried about that, though.

"I'll have to find a human to eat whatever I produce, of course, but that will come in its own time."

[wheels-spun.livejournal.com]

"You are looking at knives. Tool-handling will be soon."

Pause.

Some people would laugh and say "shouldn't you test it on a guinea pig first, instead of a human?"

"Tasting your wares might be done once you've learned how to cook. It is a subtle process that can be done wrong as easily as it can be done right."

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

"So I hear," says Bumblebee. "Even Iron Chef Morimoto sometimes does things that the panel of judges can't take."

[wheels-spun.livejournal.com]

Bumblebee is very close to sounding very like Remy the rat.

"When you are dealing with gourmet food, it is not hard for the judges to find something they cannot take."

Food elitists are like that, especially when in a judicial position.

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I don't care if it's gourmet or not," the robot says cheerfully. "I just want to see what humans find so entertaining about the process of making it that they watch it for fun. It's not the kind of thing we had back home at all."

[wheels-spun.livejournal.com]

"Then perhaps you would be best served by learning to grill hotdogs," Wheel says cheerfully. "Most of it has little to do with the food anyways, but rather the personalities of the hosts."

Really. It's not hard to imagine someone like the Surreal Gourmet cooking up wieners over on an open grill if he thought people would still watch the show.

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

"Oh, but that doesn't look like nearly as much fun," says Bumblebee. "Or as educational about humans in general."

[wheels-spun.livejournal.com]

"Oh, but I think it can be fun. You say you watch to learn about human fascination about food, but would it be so entertaining to have the show hosted by someone with the voice of Ben Stein? Or someone even more monotonous?"

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

"That would depend," says Bumblebee. "Humans can surprise you sometimes."

[wheels-spun.livejournal.com]

"I have been watching them for centuries, as well as other beings in other worlds."

Pause.

"At this point it takes a lot to surprise me any more."

[cutting_edgex23]

X blinks at the sight of the robot, body going wire-tight.

At least this one is not a very bright pink?

She's studying it through narrowed eyes, though, just in case.

Call it learning from experience.

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

He's also rather small- five feet tall, perhaps five foot two- although, X being X, she probably knows that this is nothing to rely upon in terms of determining danger levels.

He doesn't seem to notice her scrutiny at first. He has knives to look at.

[cutting_edgex23]

She slips a little closer, very cautiously.

It seems sensible.

And she's curious.

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

Bumblebee's head turns fractionally, but only far enough to bring the barely perceived motion into his range of vision. Around here, movement could mean anything.

[cutting_edgex23]

X goes very still.

Then--

"Hello."

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

Bumblebee puts the catalog down at that and chirps out "Hi there!" in the voice of Peter Gabriel at the start of one of his songs.

He's getting better about the musical communication habit, but some days it just seems more appropriate than others.

[cutting_edgex23]

X looks startled, just a little.

"You are a robot."

Just so they're clear.

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

Give me light, give me action
At the touch of a button
Flying through hyper-space
In a computer interface-

Bumblebee nods, and makes a small, rusty noise. "I mean yes," he says, his voice sounding crackly and disused. "Yes, I am."

[cutting_edgex23]

X considers this, shoulders still tight.

"Okay."

Beat.

"I am X-23."

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

And Betty, when you call me, you can call me-

"Bumblebee," says the little robot. "It's good to meet you, X-23."

[cutting_edgex23]

"Okay," she repeats.

"Why do you play music?"

[prob-japanese.livejournal.com]

"My voice capacitor was damaged in battle. For a long time, playback of recorded sound sequences was the only way I could communicate effectively," says Bumblebee. "The habit is a hard one to break."