milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Xaldin is attempting to get used to being indoors based on the theory that it's slightly easier for him than it is for Xigbar and one of them should be able to go inside without pain.

Or at least without admitting to pain.

So he's pacing around the bar just over the heads of patrons. He keeps a distance from the door and obviously shudders every time it opens but doesn't allow that to force him out.

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When the feet go over Nathan's head, he frowned, and then flew up to find out what the idea was.

"If you're gonna do that, why not up in the rafters or out back?"

"Because I tend to hit my head in the rafters and am attempting to get used to the changes in atmosphere that happen inside the bar. Out back it's less obvious and doesn't hurt as much." Xaldin explains.

"Changes in atmosphere? But the pressure's about the same. Doesn't even change much when you're in the sky out back."

"The pressure doesn't matter at all." Xaldin says, "The change of the air every time the door opens changes me. I am Air and Nothing. When the air changes it is like an ice-cream headache all the way to my toes."

"Really? Never really noticed, other than it's easier to fly here than back home at times."

Long look back, "How can you be Air and Nothing? You have a form."

"I am not the metaphysics expert." Xaldin states, "I was a man named Dilan. Dilan lost his heart to the Heartless. I am his Nobody. My element is Air, and aside from the Air I am Nothing."

"You don't have a heart, but you're still alive? You don't just grow it back or something?"

His world is a strange place, and he's wondering if this guy's anything like Adam.

"At this point I am made of Air and Nothing." Xaldin repeats, then extends his gloved hand, "Here. Feel for a pulse." He can do this.

He's had a lot of practice at contact. It hurts, but he can do it.

"You sure?" Nathan asked, and then went to touch his hand to check.

Nothing. (Something familiar with the air side somehow, like something even hidden from himself still). But the rest was nothing, and he quickly dropped his hand away.

"...Just when I thought this place couldn't get any weirder..."

Xaldin's face tightens in pain for the duration of the contact and he rubs it when Nathan lets go. "I am a Nobody. We are abominations to most Somebodies."

"Didn't get that, just think the idea of it's weird. You need anything for that?"

"No. Contact is hard. Your existence pressing in against my instability makes it harder to hold on. At best contact with others is hard. At worst it is agonizing. Thank you for the thought."

"Sooo it's what? Like matter meeting antimatter? Something like that? Wouldn't there be an explosion?"

This is why he'd need a Science Advisor, since it's clearly not his field.

Xaldin shakes his head, "Nothing so violent. Your existence simply makes it more obvious that I am not complete. Nothing will happen to you, but it could destroy me if I tried too long."

"Hardly seems fair, what do you do now?"

"We're looking for our hearts." Xaldin states "For a way to exist again. We've been doing so for over a decade."

Raised eyebrows at the being, "Got any leads yet?"

"Three." Xaldin says, "Kingdom Hearts, VIII's help, and a woman named Rachel."

"Good, wait, did you say, Kingdom...Hearts? What is that?"

"A phenomena by which we would have the opportunity to once again regain hearts." Xaldin says, "For anything other than that you would need to find Xigbar."

"He around here?" For some reason, he felt some sympathy since they were both searching for something important and lost. For Xaldin, it's his heart, for Nathan, it's his brother, and to Nathan he might argue the search was almost identical. Because Peter is the feeler, the emotional anchor in the family.

Nathan would be wrong. Very, very wrong. He is capable of existing without Peter because he is a person. He might not be a good person but he's a person. In their worlds Xaldin and Xigbar technically don't exist. At all. They're less than shadows, and even less than Shadows.

"Yes. He is why I haven't left." Xaldin says without emotion "I go where he goes. Always."

He'd argue that it would be hard to exist, and he did almost destroy himself because of the loss. So no, he'd exist, he just for time wish he didn't.

"You two close? Or as close as you can be like this?"

"Xigbar's Other met Dilan when Dilan was three days old." Xaldin says quietly "We have never been truly apart. Touching him hurts worse than everything but losing my heart did. I would give up my heart if I had to choose between us. Yes, we are as close as Nobodies can be."

Still thinking of Peter, Nathan quietly replied, "Know what you mean."