milliways_bar | This isn't the bathroom...

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This isn't the bathroom...

A few seconds ago, everything was so normal...

Anya pauses at the door, confused. She slowly pokes her head in, scanning the bizarre room in front of her that is most definitely not the bathroom. Suddenly she feels a strong tug and stumbles over the threshold. The door smacks shut behind her, the click of the lock surprisingly deafening in the already noisy... bar?

Well, Anya knows bars. She and bars are good friends. She walks slowly, almost cautiously to the Bar and sits down on one of the stools, tugging her robe in close around her. No one is immediately apparent, but something about this place seems special.

"Uhm... a mimosa please?"

Just to her left in a snazzy crystal glass appears a deliciously well balanced mimosa on a clean napkin. She smiles, claps her hands like a five year old and takes a sip. Her nerves somewhat calmed, she scans the room for something, anything friendly.

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"I see that you are an observant woman," Wencit says with a tiny smirk.

"This bar is, as you have surmised, not located in your bathroom. You have found yourself in Milliways, which somehow rests at the end of all time."

"I will admit that I was quite surprised when I arrived here as well. I had expected the end of all time to be a bit more dreary."

Anya perks up.

"So this is what happens if Buffy can't stop one of the annual apocalypses? I can't wait to tell everyone! This is really a very pleasant place. I thought there would be more hellfire and torture and fewer delicious fizzy drinks and magic people."

"It is difficult to say, actually," Wencit cautions. "This is the end of time, which should not be confused with the end of the world. It is possible, I suppose, that they are one and the same, but I suspect that they are not."

"Time, after all, continues whether the world does or not."

Anya frowns, confused.

"Oh, so this place is like... outside of time? But there is time here... so... so this is like the break room in the store of time! All of the customers of time, other people, are all in the store, going through like normal, but we're here taking a break! There are still products here, like there's time here, but its for everyone else right now!"

If she can link it to capitalism, it's all good.

Wencit blinks. Rapidly.

"I... suppose that is one way to look at it. As long as your metaphor accounts for the fact that, for most people, being here means that they have stepped out of time where they are from. When you return home it will likely be precisely the same time that you left."

Another frown, but pensive this time.

"Hmm. Okay, whatever. It's a magic shop of time, fine. Point is that I understand. Wait. The same time I left? So I could stay here for years and then leave and go to work? But I'd be... old!"

"As best as I have been able to understand things here, yes. It would, indeed, be possible to spend ten years here, age ten years, and return to when you left ten years older."

"But that's not fair! I'll just have to be careful I guess so no one notices. I mean, I could tell them, but an ex-demon needs a place to call her own right?"

She falls silent, chewing gently on her thumb and thinking.

"Then I advise you simply avoid staying too long at one time. A week or two will probably not be noticeable, after all."

Anya huffs.

"Yes, yes, that's true. I still don't like it. It's not very convenient. Well, I mean, having this here is much more convenient than not, but I don't like the way it works. Is there anyone here who could put an anti-aging spell on me that would only be active here? That would be perfect."

Wencit laughs. "Anti-aging? I imagine that there are any number of people here who could manage it. Most of them, however, would likely want something in return. Is it worth so much to you?"

"Well it would depend on what they want in return. I could barter with them with goods from my shop I suppose, or give them lessons in demon lore. It's all capitalism, the exchange of goods for services, so yes, if they gave me a reasonable price, I think it would be a grand idea. Very convenient."

"I avoid manipulating time myself, but if you desire something like that then there is a notice board." Wencit points at the board near the bar proper, "You might put a request there."

Anya looks at the indicated board thoughtfully.

"Hmm. I'll keep it in mind. I don't want to rush into it, but it would be nice..."

She trails off as she tried to consider the potential ramifications of such a strong spell. It wouldn't be easy, or cheap, but it might be worth it.

Wencit must be thinking something similar.

"That sort of magic tends to be quite difficult. I imagine that the cost will be fairly high."

"Indeed. I suppose that the price would be different depending on who I talked to... There isn't like an industry standard."

"Certainly not around here," Wencit agrees with an amused snort. "I would not be at all surprised to discover that such magic is commonplace in one of the worlds connected to Milliways. It is merely a question of finding one such world."

"Uh huh."

Anya chews on her lip a bit more.

"And the best way to do that is to put up a note on that board over there?"

Wencit strokes his neatly-trimmed beard for a moment, pondering the question. "I am not certain about 'best'. It is the most efficient way I know of. Especially if you are a new arrival. I suppose you might simply ask around. One of the barmen might know. Or one of the patrons who has been her for a quite some time."

Anya nods.

"Okay."

She looks him in the eye and smiles.

"Thanks Wencit."

Wencit can't help but smile back. "You are quite welcome, lady Anya. And welcome to Milliways."

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This isn't the bathroom...

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