Wham, bam, thank you
ma'am mun, there was a Harper in the bar.
He looked a little edgy, and slightly morose, but he was a long ways better than before, even if he was still fearfully peering around the room for dark-eyed dark lords.
It was while peering that he spotted the karaoke machine.
"Hmm."
He went over and prodded at it a bit. It blinked on by itself, and a mechanical voice said: "YOU HAVE SELECTED 'JUST GOT PAID,' BY THE RAKES! HAVE A NICE DAY!"
And all of sudden, Harper was singing and dancing, against his will:
( Lying underneath the cover... ) Harper froze, mortally embarassed when the song was done, and slapped himself in the forehead.
"The universe hates me."
Then he turned on the karaoke machine, a murderous look on his face, and pulled out his nano-welder. It flicked on with a homicidal buzzing sound.
"I think you're broken--sick. Doctor Harper's gonna make it aaall
better."
It was most likely a figment of the imagination of anyone looking, but it almost seemed as if the lights of the karaoke machine dimmed slightly, in a way that looked almost fearful.
Several Torturous, Loud, Clanging Minutes Full of Buzzing Noises and Sparks Later... "That oughta do it."
He pressed a few buttons, and rather reluctantly the machine said, in a new, improved Bostonian accent, "You have selected 'A Pair of Brown Eyes,' by the Pogues, you evil bastard, have a crappy day."
It probably should be noted that the karaoke machine would still be evil to people. It was just scared of Harper now.
And sounded like Click and Clack, the Tappert Brothers, from "Car Talk."
Harper sang, happily, almost in tune:
( One summer evening drunk to hell )