milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Carlotta has got bored with the infirmary and escaped out to a nearby sofa.

The advantage of having as much hair as she does is that she can conceal the bandage around her head. She alternates ginger beer and biscuits with worrying about how she's going to explain her miraculous recovery when she gets home.

[tinytag: Carlotta Brown]

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"The form decided she had to be sent to Coventry." Carlotta says. "Which means she was being ignored. I suppose that's why she took the horse, for attention."

"Ah. I can understand that, if you're being ignored," Charlie says. "Foolish, if you can't ride, but understandable."

"Even moreso if the horse you pick isn't even broken in."

"This is true. Why do you ignore them, as a punishment?"

"Because it works?"

Charlie cocked a brow. "Permanently? It seems to have caused trouble for Fern, rather than improving her disposition. Though I'm not commenting on you or your rules, just curious."

Carlotta, who has been worrying about this more or less constantly for the past week, looks like she's about to burst into tears, but reigns it in successfully.

"She was given the chance to change her ways, and we told her that it would be lifted if she did."

"Please, don't look so sad, Carlotta. That's a very good way to handle it." He bent to catch her eyes, quietly. "What's upset you?"

Now she really does burst into tears.

"This was my one chance, my chance to be tried out for leadership, and I was hopeless at it, simply awful, and because I didn't manage to sort things out with Fern she nearly got herself killed! I don't even know whether she was all right."

"You're not awful at leadership. What Fern did was foolish, and entirely her own fault."

Charlie brushed the tears away with a pocket handkerchief, settling on his knees beside the couch to see Carlotta's face easier. "You're not hopeless, at all. You're much better than I ever was, at your age, and since."

He touched her cheek lightly, looking up at her quietly. "Please don't cry. You're much too beautiful to be so sad."

"No, what you said was right the first time." Carlotta says, fighting the urge to push him away. "The punishment may have been usual for the crime but it didn't work, it just made her worse."

"Carlotta. Please, look at me." He waited patiently, settling on his heels. "Tell me what's upsetting you, please...I don't want to have made you criticize yourself when you don't need to."

"I already told you, I've been a terrible head girl and I've let everyone down." Carlotta says. "And I can't blame Fern for all of it. If I'd found a way of dealing with her properly none of this would have happened."

"No, you're not a terrible head girl. You haven't let anyone down." Charlie tilts his head, not wanting to touch her again, since he doesn't know her too well.

"Fern put herself and you in a precarious situation, and ended up getting you hurt. You dealt with her as best you knew how, and you can't hold yourself responsible for what she did."

"I'm talking about the whole term, not just this one incident." Carlotta says, trying not to cry any more and not wholly succeeding.

"Don't cry, please." Charlie brushes her cheek dry with the handkerchief, looking up at her.

"I'm sorry, I'm not normally so emotional."

He smiled lightly at that, brushing her hair off the side of her cheek. "It's alright. Emotion is a perfectly natural thing, and there's nothing to be apologizing for."

Charlie looked up at her, considering. "Did I upset you, talking about your classmate? I don't mean to."

"I don't even know for certain that she's alive." Carlotta says quietly. "The last thing I remember is helping her up, she must have been right next to me and the horse."

Charlie listens to her, still comfortably settled on his heels on the floor. "If you were close enough to be helping her up, then I doubt the horse kicked her; it got you."

He still studies her to make sure she's alright, though she's harder to read than he'd have expected. "Tell me what's worrying you, really."

"I have done sir, twice." Carlotta says, with limited patience.

"Charlie," he repeats. People calling him sir makes him twitchy. "I get the impression there's something relatively important you're not saying."

"There probably is, but I can't think of it, and I just had brain surgery."

He chuckles. "That I'll concede. But please let me know if there's something you'd like to talk about."

"I'd say horses." Carlotta says. "But even I could do with a few days without them."

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