milliways_bar | (no subject)

Charlie's been in the bar since coming inside from talking to Ruin, still considering his options.

The only downside is that he can't hate Ruin like he was fully intending to and that puts him in a very awkward position with Teja and Jason.

"All positions are awkward," she says, not looking up from her task. "Inside out, upside down, right side up. Nothing is right, nothing is wrong, but the situation is complicated. The position isn't quite right, the altar not ready for the sacrifice. But it will be. Give it time. Everything has to percolate. Peep peep until the whistle blows."

"That was both surprisingly insightful and a little schitzophrenic," he says looking up at the speaker. Pretty woman; her eyes are too bright to be natural.

He shouldn't be wondering why, but he is. "My position is awkward, at the moment. I have three people I want to help, and I can't figure it out on my own yet. And I can't talk about it either."

"Family business. They're family business and now so are you, Charlie."

She giggles.

"But this isn't the chocolate factory, is it? No, missing the pieces of candy. Always missing pieces. I can't find them all."

Moon glances up at him.

"Making deals with him isn't the wisest path."

"I've done a lot of things in my life that weren't the smartest idea at the time," he sighs. "This will only be one more. And if it saves the other two their pain I'll deal with it."

He glances up at her and merely rubs a hand over his temple as if he's getting a headache. He is. "You know him. That mean I can talk it over with you and not have broken my word to him?"

"He's family. I already know what he told you."

She continues her unraveling.

"But it won't save them their pain. Their pain will come and come and wash the path away in blood and tears."

"I haven't found the alternative yet. When I do it will work," he says firmly. "I'd do whatever it took to keep them from feeling that pain. Anything you could ask me."

"That pain was to be Teja's only, and only once."

Moon wrinkles her nose.

"Once is usually enough."

"I won't let it happen."

It's that simple, and that damn stubborn. He's not letting it happen to Teja, ever.

"I know."

She sighs, shaking her head.

"Have to unravel. Unravel it and it can be remade. Make it into anything."

Moon tugs at the yarn.

"You want to wrap the mirror in linens and keep it safe. Safe is good, but safe isn't safe. Too much shame. Shame in all of you." She lifts her head, curious. "Why do you all feel so much shame? Is it shameful to have another inside your body?"

"I'm not having him hurt! I don't care who it angers or shames or anything else, it's not going to happen!" He takes a deep breath after the exclamation, pulling a knee up to rest his forehead against it.

There's a reason, he thinks, that he never believed in tarot cards. It's becoming rapidly more obvious. "I love him too much for that," he says softly. It worries him that he might be too in love; is it turning to obsession?

She actually flinches, her hands ceasing their unraveling.

"I'm sorry," she whispers.

Moon turns her eyes back to the half-mutilated scarf.

"But you don't think he loves you as much."

He pulls out a handkerchief and presses it to his eyes until he sees dancing spots of light on the insides of his eyelids.

"I didn't mean to yell," he says slowly. "I don't know if he does...and therein lies the problem. I love him so very much...I'm not sure he feels the same."