milliways_bar | (no subject)

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The first thing that alerts Agnes that this is apparently one of those 'special' days in the bar is when she feels a draft across her stomach.

"What, this again?" she asks, looking down at the naughty schoolgirl outfit she's now wearing. Unlike the last time she was in this costume, though, she's not immediately looking for something to throw on over it. Agnes has come a long way in accepting her size, so she just shrugs, adjusts the glasses that have appeared on her face, twirls a pigtail thoughtfully, and heads over to the bar for a drink.

[car keys bait for Barty Lampion, but open to anyone, as always.]

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"Do you like pie?"

Barty has been faithfully raised to share baked goods with others.

"I love pie," she replies, pitching her voice up to match the youthful excitement.

Oh, a fun adult!

"Want a piece? It's on me!" She knows she wants some. Just look at his big ol' eyes and eager grin.

"It certainly is," Agnes says, grabbing a napkin from the bar to wipe some of the blueberry away from his chin. "And I really shouldn't because it'll spoil my dinner, but you won't tell anyone, right?"

Barty giggles. "Nope, I promise. But only if you agree to the same thing."

"It's a deal," she says, offering him her hand. "My name's Agnes. What's yours?"

Barty takes the offered hand and gives it a robust little shake. "I'm Barty. Barty Lampion, at your service!"

This is a line that is in many of the books that Barty has read.

Oh, isn't that cute?

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you, Barty Lampion." Agnes' own slice of pie appears, and she digs in.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, too!" He is very polite.

Barty takes this as a sign to dig back in to his own piece, which will disappear rapidly.

Given that the last child Agnes had to treat was more of the kick-you-in-the-shin-and-run-away variety, politeness is a welcome change.

"This is very good pie," she tells him. "Thank you."

Barty only physically assaults psychopathic murderers, so Agnes probably doesn't have anything to worry about on that front.

"You're welcome," he says cheerily. "Bar makes good pie, but it's not quite as good as Mommy's."

"Nothing's ever as good as Mommy's," Agnes agrees.

"My mommy's the pie lady, so her pies are especially good!"

"Oooh," Agnes says appreciatively. "That's even better!"

"Yeah, I think everybody thinks so." He says this just a tad facetiously.

"I'd hope so," she agrees. "So how come you're here eating Bar's pie and not home eating your mom's?"

Barty looks left--looks right--and then leans in as though disclosing top-secret information.

"It's too close to dinner," he says slyly, "for Mommy to give me a piece of hers."

Agnes laughs. "Ah. So you're spoiling your dinner, too. Well done."

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