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thirteen

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Two squirrel-human hybrids are occupying a big corner booth today.

...well, more precisely, one of them (the increasingly beach-ball-shaped baby in an incongruous banana outfit) has rolled just out of reach, under the table, while his father (just a couple weeks from hibernation, and almost at his final weight) can't fit under the table to get him.

"C'mon, Ev," Squirrel says, stretching as far as he can and still not reaching him. "It was funny at first but now it's time to roll back out here."

Ev just giggles. Poor Stanley the squirrel tries his best to roll him back out from under the table, but he's just not strong enough.

A little help would not be unwelcome. Particularly before Coreen can find out about this.

[open until forever, like an all-night diner! Also like an all-night diner, service may be slow.]

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There's a familiar voice from behind Squirrel as he tries to coax his son out from under the table.

"Personally, I think he's just ashamed to be seen in that outfit."

"He ate too many bananas and turned into one," Squirrel says, glancing back over his shoulder. "Anyway it's a good color, to set off his fur. Sharpest-dressed baby in the bar."

"Least he's not dressed up as Elvis again," Thirteen quips, crouching down to eye-level with Evan.

"Hey there, little guy."

"Jailhouse Rock Elvis wasn't so bad," Squirrel says, "but the jumpsuit, that was just insulting. He's not that big."

Oh, no, he's bigger.

Ev continues to giggle, looking up at Thirteen.

She tisks teasingly.

"Poor kid, all the adults want to dress you up in ridiculous outfits."

Smiling brightly, she reaches out for Ev.

"You going to come say hello to your Remy?"

"How are we gonna keep him in line fifteen years from now, if not by humiliating pictures of him as a kid?" Squirrel asks.

Ev holds a hand out towards her, but he isn't moving just yet. He is happy to see her, though. He likes the attention.

"Very true," she agrees, reaching and snagging Ev's hand gently in her own. "That, and embarrassing stories."

Ev does his best to pull her hand toward his mouth.

It's what he does with everything, really. And sometimes, with his Uncle Tony mostly, it works out pretty tasty. Even if Uncle Tony doesn't like having his hands chewed on, especially not now as Ev has more teeth.

Hey, someday when he's older, he could be breaking girls' hearts with handkisses. Gotta start small.

"I'm glad there aren't really any of me. Or weren't until I got involved with Coreen, anyway."

With all the other heart-breakers in his life, it'll be harder for him not to be one.

"There's plenty of current, embarrassing stories to tide you over, kilt-boy."

Thankfully, Thirteen's able to resist Ev's hand pulling.

"Hey, no biting there, kiddo."

"No pictures though, unless you count that one Coreen took..."

The less said about that, the better.

Ev giggles and squeezes her hand. He may be dressed like a banana, but he's a squirrel-god-in-training.

Thirteen squeezes back gently before arching a brow at Squirrel.

"Do I even want to know?"

"See, normal people would help in a situation like that," he says, "not run for the camera. But she's cute, so I keep her around."

Joking, of course--well, about that being the only reason. He does think Coreen is very cute.

Under the table, Stanley keeps trying to shove Ev toward the outside. He manages to push him a little.

"Can't blame you for that," she agrees, glancing back down at Evan. Seeing Stanley's predicament, and what the small squirrel is trying to do, she glances back up at Squirrel.

"Did you want Evan out from under there?"

"Yeah," he says. "He... he can't crawl yet, his arms and legs aren't strong enough to hold him at this weight, so all he can do is roll, and we were practicing that. But he thinks it's funny to roll into places I can't reach him--you may have noticed I'm a bit bigger than usual. Table's bolted down, I can't just move it to get him. There's no denying he's my and Coreen's kid; just has to do things to be difficult."

"A little trickster, is he? Hold on a sec."

Thirteen ducks a little lower so she can reach under the table.

"C'mere, fuzz-but."

Now that she's lower, she can reach Evan properly, and she does so, carefully scooping the ball of fuzzy baby into her arms.

"Hello again, kiddo."

Ev giggles, settling comfortably against her--he may be a little disappointed that his plan to annoy his father has come to an end, but being held by Thirteen is certainly nothing to sneeze at. It makes up for the banana costume, anyway.

"Thanks," Squirrel says. "I can already tell you that the teenage years are gonna be rough."

She bounces the baby in her arms absently.

"Thankfully, you have a while to go yet for that, and you'll have no shortage of help, either."

"Oh, yeah. And don't think I'm not grateful for the help, because I am--I mean, Coreen and I have been helped by a lot of people since we've been here. Made a bit of a family here, since neither of us has much back home."

Nodding in understanding, she shifts Evan to a more comfortable position in her arms.

"Chances are, the family you make is so much better than the one you're born with."

"The family I've made has never sold me to anybody, so yeah," he says, and eyes her mock-suspiciously for a moment. "Unless you were planning to. In which case you probably shouldn't. I won't fall for that trick again."

She beings a free hand to her forehead dramatically.

"Oh darn, you've caught onto my nefarious scheme, whatever shall I do?"

"Get Coreen to pay you off so you don't go through with it," he says. "You'd be surprised how much money you can make not kidnapping people. A lot more than you'd make actually kidnapping them, I bet, and a lot safer too. Less effort. Not committing crime is where the real bankroll is."

The young doctor strokes her chin in mock thoughtfulness.

"Hmmm. Maybe I got into the wrong line of work, then."

"Of course, Coreen could always make you pay her off... she'd come up with something. Enough to cancel out what she'd be paying to you, anyway. You can never trust those Canadians completely; their politeness is all a front for something nefarious."

"Can't trust them at all," she agrees with a smirk. "They all think we're doomed, that's why they're so polite."

"We probably are," he says. "Or... hell, they're probably plotting their revenge. Our government kind of... well, missiles were fired. Mistakes were made. If you've got a supervillain with access to the big red button, make sure it's not one of the crazy ones. We're just lucky no people got hurt."

Eyebrows raise and she whisles low.

"Everyone's okay, I hope?"

"Oh, yeah. Well... it hit out in the middle of nowhere, so there's a bit of forest that won't be the same again for a while, but it could've been a lot worse. And it wasn't nuclear, thankfully."

Shifting Evan over to one arm, she pats his shoulder gently.

"I'm glad things are okay, then."

"Yeah. Though now that Tony's in charge... well, 'okay' is kind of a relative thing. We'll see how things go with him--I've got more confidence in him than a lot of people do, but that's not really saying much."

She nods.

"Tony could do alright, if he put his mind to it."

"He... gets distracted easily, if it's not about a bank robbery," he says. "Nobody knows what to expect. And honestly, after how the past few years have gone? That may be the best thing for the country."

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