milliways_bar | (no subject)

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(Somewhere Under Milliways: Sunshine's large, lovingly-collected library of gothic vampire lit will likely never be the same refuge of fantasy escapism ever again. She may burn them all when she gets home. If she survives to get home.)

From the kitchens come the sounds of startled, squeaking rats, of a large basket of paradoxes overturning as someone runs unsteadily towards the reassuring light and noise of the bar. The door to the kitchen slams open a moment later, letting through a pale and shaking Rae, clutching her wrenched and bruised right arm to her chest as she runs.

Her head is still reeling, her eyes watering and blurring her vision, the realization of what had just happened - what she had done - and to whom - causing her stomach to rebel violently.

Luckily, the cleaning crew prefer a clean bar and have put trash cans up at strategic locations, for Sunshine doesn't make it to the restroom before being physically ill. She falls jerkily next to it, clutching the trashcan rim with a white-knuckled grip in an effort to steady herself and counteract the tremors she can't seem to stop.

(Warnings in OOM for... well, gothic horror.)

(Tiny tags: A Gothic Winter Tale, Vlad Dracula)

(OOC: Mun has gone to bed. Will return to tag up on threads tomorrow. EP is open for new threads/tags forever and ever, amen. <33333)

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"Take all the time you need and let me know if you want anything else since I'll be right here."

From the other side of the couch, she pulls over a blanket since the fire is warm but probably not warm enough.

The bread is real. It smells real, tastes real. It's a much-needed anchor to keep Sunshine in reality and in the present and not back in the cellar held immobile by...

"Talk? Speak with me?" She tries a smile. "It really helps."

"Of course. Well there seems to be a very silly flu floating around that makes people think that they're not themselves. One young man kept insisting that he was in an engine room. Finally I had to simply make him sleep. I don't like doing that if I don't have to."

Sunshine curls up under the blanket, shivering still, every so often. "I'll try not to make it necessary, promise," she offers. "Though I don't know if I'm going to be able to sleep any time soon."

"Only sleep when you think you can. It was many days after Kore was taken before I could sleep. I walked and walked so that I couldn't hear my own thoughts."

Demeter moves her hand to gently rub Sunshine's shoulder.

"She'll be back, though," Sunshine says, moving to hug (and totally not cling to) Demeter. It's already past the winter solstice, and the sun is beginning its returning journey.

"I... fear my dreams, at this point." She can remember the nightmares after her first run-in with vampires, and the different flavor of nightmare after Con used his blood, the blood of the doe, to heal her.

"Yes and you've survived. What do you fear of them?"

Demeter hugs her back tightly, she's never mind anyone who clings to her.

She fears the dreams of rivers, lakes of blood, wearing the dress she had been forced to wear, made of blood. Dreams of knowing herself as a vampire, of doing things and knowing things she could not possibly know in the waking world, but remembering that... she does know them, she does do these things, for she is a vampire and no longer human, and as a vampire she knows the world differently. Dreams where there is darkness in her sight and blood in her mouth, blood that she finds as sweet as the richest chocolate, and her dearly beloved daylight is but a fading memory. Dreams of Con...

Her throat tightens, and she swallows compulsively. "... They aren't... clean dreams."

"Clean is a strange word. Tell me what it means to you, please? My senses of what's appropriate and right don't match up with this world and time."

"Humans shouldn't have dreams of... violating everything it means to be human." To be human in a world overrun with vampires.

"You've had them before? Oh child, I'm sorry."

"Many times before, in these last few months," she says, shivering. "It's not something one really settles in and gets acclimated to."

Demeter holds her if possible even closer,

"Why? You're a child of the sun and life not darkness."

"Am I, though?" With what she's been through?

Tree, doe and sun-self.

Can they still outnumber the dark-self?

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"I... I've done things... I can't see how I can still be... me. Like that."

She can see in the dark, she has saved a vampire so he might go on being a vampire, twice. She drank of his blood to save herself, turned to him for help and hope while rejecting all human offers of the same.

And now, she feels herself shaken, with tears starting in her eyes at the realization of her very strong desire for him to be there with her now.

"Your actions do change you, yes, but who you are is far deeper than that. I don't know your world so I can't make you any promises for it. But you are a living and growing woman and I know that."

Her voice has the deep certainty of a goddess who watches over growing things.

"How does one know what one is growing into, though?" she says, more worried than she would ever let on.

"Ah that's a tricky thing and sadly often involves the bitches of the Fates. I can only tell you that I see you growing."

"I'd rather not warrant the notice of such beings," she says.

Then, "Present deities excluded, of course."

"Neither would I. If I knew who to ask to find out for you, I would though."

Sunshine manages a slight smile at that. "That's a kind thought," she murmurs.

"You really do remind me of my grandmother, sometimes."

"At this season, I try to be as grandmotherly as possible."

"She's the one who taught me about my affinity, and my... inheritance from my father's side of the family."

"Her hair was longer, though about the same color." She can remember the wind out by the lake whipping it into tangles, but her grandmother had never minded. She simply had let the young Rae help her brush it out when they got back to the cabin.

"She must have been a remarkable woman. What would you ask her if you could?"