milliways_bar | (no subject)

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A week to go, a week to go... That's the refrain that's been echoing through Bela's head all day. A week to go until her "one year to go" countdown.

She can't take much more of this, except she can and she will. She simply doesn't want to. The fucking door to Milliways finally showed up earlier tonight, and she slipped in to claim her usual booth. She's in black yoga pants and a blue cami; she hasn't left her flat in the last few days. Her leather jacket tops off her outfit, its pockets loaded down with the accouterments one needs to fight off demons of various walks of un-life.

She's on her second martini, but what the hell (no pun intended)? Come say hi.

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Cal takes a close look and grins.

"Good," he says. "Glad to hear it.

"So how are you, other than that?"

She could lie, but he'll see right through it. He knows her too well by now.

"I'm okay. Ish. Better, now that I'm here."

He gives her a gentle squeeze and kisses her temple.

"Anything in particular?" he asks.

He thinks he might know the answer to that, but it could always be something else. Bela's life is hardly a quiet one.

She doesn't respond for a moment. Then she takes a drink of her martini.

"It's a week until it's one year to go. I can't- I'd like to stop thinking about it, but it's not easy."

"That's probably not the way to do it," Cal says with a glance at the glass in her hand, which itself is probably not the way to answer, but he doesn't know what else to say. It isn't a matter of encouragement, not right now. All the encouragement in the world won't change the timeline.

"I know."

She rests her head on his shoulder.

"I've got nothing. No leads. I'm thinking about summoning the Crossroads Demon again because there's- nothing."

Except D'Hoffryn's offer. She's not quite sure how to broach that particular subject.

"You really think that would do any good?"

Cal sighs, because of course she doesn't. Not really.

"There's still that thing from Wolfram and Hart," he reminds her. "I know it's not a guarantee, but it's not nothing. And there's still plenty to look into here, and - there's always Milliways."

He leans his head against hers. "I know you want to win, but you might want to start thinking about just settling for not losing."

Okay. Here goes.

"I'm thinking about it. Believe me. There's a- another girl here. Ava. She works for a, well, they call him a demon lord, but he's not like the demons I know. He does justice. Takes care of people. The realm is in Wolfram & Hart's universe, but- the demon lord talked to me. About possibly maybe..."

She trails off.

"If I just leave, it won't go away. She comes here. The door will still open to my world. I have to keep trying. I'm just- not handling it well for the moment. I'll get better. I always do."

"I know you do," Cal assures her automatically, but he's still frowning over the first part.

Cal's not so good at splitting hairs when it comes to demons.

"About possibly maybe what?"

"Working for him. He was the liaison for the job I took. He liked what I was able to do, and he's powerful. Ava's really happy working for him."

Bela doesn't know Ava's a psychopath. But since Bela is not what you'd call normal, it doesn't quite matter.

"It can't hurt to find out more. They don't make the same kind of deals."

Cal is cautiously, and very consciously, neutral.

"Probably don't want to dismiss anything out of hand right now."

"I don't have that luxury, no."

Cal nods, and kisses the top of her head.

The time to watch Bela for fear-driven stupid decision-making has clearly begun.

It's going to be such a fun year!

"Tell me about how you've been, and your Penny. I want to hear everything."

She wants to hear about normal things. Happy things.

Cal has been waiting for this. He's trying to be ready.

If nothing else, he has faith in his ability to completely disregard Bela's wishes and do what she needs, not what she wants. He knows how much of an asshole he can be; at least this time, it would be for a good cause.

It's just a matter of choosing his timing.

He smiles.

"We've been good. Oh, I got a job volunteering at Penny's shelter. I'm starting after Christmas. In a couple days." Cal's trying to think of this week in terms of the shelter, not Christmas. It's not really any easier a subject than it was last year.

"It's Christmas already? That's right. I should get you a present."

She slips her hand into his.

"That's great, Cal. Seriously. I'm glad you're getting out and doing things you've wanted to do."

"You don't have to," Cal says.

". . . I'm trying not to think about it." Failing miserably. But trying.

He smiles a bit.

"Yeah, it was about time I stopped hiding in the apartment. Not much point in having moved if I was just gonna do that."

"You and me both, trying not to think about it. We are Team Denial," she says, nudging him gently.

"If you want company, I'd be happy to visit. On Christmas Day, I mean. To help you pass the time more easily?"

Cal brightens.

"Yeah. That'd be great."

"Seriously?"

She's never spent Christmas with anyone in a pleasant way. It was always the day her mother got drunk and fought with her father and then things would go downhill from there.

"Yeah. You know I always like having the company."

Christmas in Cal's childhood seemed like what Christmases were supposed to be - big dinner, lots of presents. But, like everything else the Chandlers did, they were just built to impress. The only truly real Christmas Cal has had was with his son, just months before he died. It's more painful to remember now than all the others put together.

"This is cheering me up more than you can know."

Visions of sugarplums are dancing in her head! Okay, not really.

"I mean, we don't have to do the holiday thing. I'll keep you busy."

But if they ended up doing some of the holiday thing, that could be cool. Penny needs a present, surely.

"Yeah, I bet you will," Cal says with a smirk.

"We can do some of the holiday thing, though, if you want. Just don't expect a tree."

"God, no. They shed all over the damn place. Maybe we can have a nice dinner. Out somewhere festively decorated. And mock some ridiculously cheesy TV special or something."

She doesn't have enough traditions to request. As an adult, she'd just go to a beach somewhere and not think about it. Go, Team Denial!

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