milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Ramon has been finding life almost too chilled recently (he's not good with too much relaxation). And what better place than Milliways to fix that? It also lets him get a ride in so he's outside the bar with Blanco tethered to the paddock fence. Normally he doesn't bother with rubbing him down himself but he needs the activity and he intends to go for a long, fast ride after this.

He'll be back in the bar with a brandy afterwards and is botherable in either place.

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He rolls his eyes.

'Obviously.'

Beat.

'The bar employing undercover cops now?'

"There is a rogue blood-drinker about," Teja says. "It was thought that having one he knows not of would be advantageous. But I was allowed latitude for emergencies."

'I'm an emergency now?'

He snorts and looks away.

'I don't see what use you'd be against a vampire anyway.'

"Of course you are an emergency," Teja says. "At least a young, wild, and entirely un-housebroken Ramon Salazar was."

Pause.

"And I would be, for the blood-drinker, that which you may call the element of surprise?"

He's impressed with that description of his young self and it shows. But all he says is,

'Yes, I get that part. My point is, if you did take a vampire by surprise is that any guarantee that you'd be able to beat it?'

Because he's met a few and super-human strength and inability to die are something they all seem to have in common. While Teja doesn't seem to be able to die again, he severely doubts that he'd be able to arrest one, secret cop or not.

"There is never a guarantee," Teja says. "Even you should know that. But I know what to do, to have a fighting chance. And the blood-drinker could not kill me lastingly, as I am already dead. That was proven but a short time ago."

So the risk would not be too great, compared to that of a Security member who is alive.

'Oh?'

Neutral face is neutral.

'I've been away. Did something happen?'

"I was shot and killed," Teja says. "They still hold my dead body here, in a room upstairs. But after a day, I came back through the door, freshly dead once more; and Demeter took me away and restored my memory, from the soil of my old home, in the ways she has."

Pause.

"I would call it an interesting experience, but for the fact that my Charlie was wounded, also, that there might still be a murderer after me, and that I used to have a hole upon my old body, as men from the future have to wear ornaments in, or to show that they can bear pain: - I will have to have that redone. It costs money."

For a moment, Teja considers asking Urquhart (if he ever returns) for reimbursement of the cost of that piercing; the idea amuses him, and it shows.

Ramon is careful in his reaction, though it looks natural as anything. Given that Teja knows he can't stand him, the last thing he's going to do is pretend to commiserate.

'Someone shot you and you didn't die?' he repeats flatly, and lights a cigarette. 'Why did you have to tell me that? You've just ruined my whole day.'

It's not like he hasn't threatened to kill the man half a dozen times himself.

'Who was it?'

"Maybe I wished to ruin your whole day, by telling you such pleasant news and then taking them away again?" Teja says. "And make no mistake: - I died! But I returned, from the moment of my original death, as I had entered the bar for the first time. I am out of a piercing, but instead, now have three Tyrian purple cloaks, three battle axes, and my harp thrice over. I might give one of them to Yrael."

Pause.

"As to who it was, we know not yet surely enough to speak of it; but I am working on it. But we have the murder weapon."

'Maybe you'll run out of spare afterlives one day,' he says nastily. 'If you keep dying that often I'm sure the Landlord will just start thinking you don't appreciate his hospitality and not let you come back next time.'

He hopes.

'Maybe I'll do it myself with Hel's sword. I don't see you coming back from that. But whatever did do it, I hope it hurt.'

"It did," Teja says, unmoved. "But I shall not tell you who, even when it will be known, so you cannot go and reward that one for your mere pleasure in my pain. And indeed, I try not to die too often, for the very reason you name. But it does make taking risks somewhat easier."

'Perhaps,' he says, musingly, 'he'll let you keep coming back but take away your ability to remember your previous 'life'. That would be funny to watch.'

He might enjoy that even more that simply having the man gone. At least it would be amusing.

"I think my afterlife is safe in the hands of my friend Demeter," Teja says. "And indeed, I will try not to die more. Lest I do forget what a pest you are, and stop opposing your purposes."

'I'm a pest?'

He snorts, derisive.

'There's so many sanctimonious assholes around here, I'm pretty sure no one would miss you. You think I'm a pest, stay out of my way. And if you keep talking about opposing my purposes, I'll start to think you're stalking me. It's not as though I've got any purpose that'll interest you, at the moment.'

"I'm sure some of them interest me," Teja says, "if you murder my friends again, or supply them with intoxicating poisons."

Pause.

"Also, you know what I am now. All your felonies are of interest to me, when they are connected to this place and its rules."

Ramon mock yawns. Yes, he's that childish sometimes.

'You're like a broken record. And must I point out again that selling someone drugs - someone who's asked for them - isn't against the rules here?'

"That can change," Teja says. "Now it can."

An eyebrow goes straight up at that one.

'You're planning on rewriting the rules of the place? You?'

He laughs though there's nothing humourous about it.

'Who the fuck do you think you are?'

"I am Teja son of Tagila; and I was the last king of the Ostrogoths in Italy," Teja says, calmly. "And not rewrite; I would not dare! But I may suggest new interpretations."

'Being the king of anything doesn't mean a damn thing here. Have you forgotten that? Kings are a dime a dozen around this place.'

He hates this man. Really, really hates him.

'And who are you going to suggest your interpretations to? The Landlord? Mike? Because Mike's pretty damn busy being pregnant at the moment,' ha! 'and has already told me that he has pretty much nothing to do with Security. You think Belar cares? I don't think he even knows what a drug is.'

His face is furious at the mere thought of this.

'Those rules have been in place since long before you got here. 'No business' doesn't mean I can't sell what I want, it doesn't matter what your opinion on it is.'

"I know what I am here," Teja says, shaking his head.

This man is so dense!

"And I need not speak to you of the inner workings of Security. Be warned that the next time you do that, I shall be on your case and punish you as you deserve."

'No, you be warned you arrogant dick.'

Yet again, he wants to knock his teeth out.

'I've been here longer than you have and I already know the inner workings of Security. It's no big secret. Christ, my closest friend here was on it a long time before you showed up. And if you try to put me in the cells for something that isn't even against the rules, I think you'll find yourself in more trouble than I will be.'

Not that he has much faith in any of the Security members but he's pretty sure that Teja writing his own rules and becoming some sort of vigilante stalker will be frowned upon.

"And now, your friend is long gone, and others run it," Teja says. "Worry not; I know what I am doing."

He snorts, contemptuous.

'Yeah, that's it. Ignore the parts of that you don't want to hear. You think you can do whatever you want just because you've got a little badge to wave around. Well, you're wrong.'

He taps Bar and asks for a piece of paper and a marker pen. On it, he scrawls,

New Security Hire: Teja

and holds it up to show him.

'How about I stick a few dozen - or a few hundred - of these around the place? See if I can find your vampire and let him know about Security's secret weapon?'

Teja wants to screw around with him unfairly, he'll do it right back, even if it is a minor gesture.