milliways_bar | (no subject)

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So first the gates of Hell open.

Then the Weekly World News shuts down.

Then it turns out the Winchester brothers, Señor Muttonhead and Muttonhead Junior, are the ones responsible for bullet point A up there?

Man, this is the worst fall ever.

Sulking, he scoops up a bite of waffle -- okay, more like a tiny island of cooked dough in an Atlantic-sized sea of maple syrup -- and eyes Milliways at large. Maybe he should tie a couple of metaphorical shoelaces together or something. Pranks always make him feel better.

(Hey, don't judge. He's a trickster. He's allowed!)

[OOC: as per usual, slowtimes are highly likely, but! Post is open until it scrolls.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Um, in space. I'm not sure how to be more specific. It rests on the back of four elephants who ride a great turtle through space. Is there a rat? Maybe we can grab those drinks."

Louie seems like a nice guy, but Moist still needs a drink, he doesn't like unexpected things that try to tie him down.

"On a what?" he splutters, and starts to laugh. "Man, that has gotta be the strangest tale I've heard here yet. And yeah I think there's gotta be one around, hang on -- "

He scans the floor for half a second before his eyes alight on a rat. Beckoning it over with a quick whistle, he drops to a crouch to address it more on its level.

"Two...sorry, what were they called again?" He look up at Alfred, the apology firmly screwed back into place. "My memory's not too great sometimes."

Moist's day really isn't getting better, but he keeps his tired smile firmly in place,

"MacAbre's and its fine. Its true."

Now its a little harder to keep the exasperation out of his voice, Moist is a liar by trade, yet his world is true. Some days, he could really grow to hate Milliways and he needs to find out who was trying to catch him.

"MacAbre's," he repeats to the rat. "On this very kind gentleman's tab. Thank you!"

He rocks back up to his feet as the rat scampers away, and cocks his head at the other guy. "Hey, you okay?"

"Sorry, yes."

The tired smile is firm and sincere as well as apologetic,

"I'm being quite rude, whatever did that to my jacket just shocked me more than I realized. Where are you from, Louie?"

The well-hidden corner of his thoughts keeps right on whistling "Because I'm Awesome," very, very smugly.

"Nah, don't worry about it, it's completely all right," he says, eyes wide again as he spreads his hands. "That'd freak me out too. I'm from central Illinois right now, it's on Earth -- anybody else told you about Earth yet?"

"Yes, I've been hearing about it a good bit. What's Illinois like?"

This time Moist's smile is slightly less tired, he does enjoy learning about all the other worlds.

"Flat," he answers, but rather cheerily. Especially considering what follows: "Kind of boring. Lots of cows and farms."

In short, a place he doesn't plan on staying in for long. Maybe he'll jump down to Texas in another week or two.

"The Sto plains are rather like that just with lots of cabbages."

Moist is truly just passing through them.

"Ew."

Really. There is not other response to cabbages -- or most vegetables, really -- but ew.

(Heart of a five-year-old, that's our trickster.)

"What about Ankh-Morpork? Please tell me that's better."

"I hope so, its the largest city on the plains. I'm moving for all the opportunities. Its just I have to get through all the cabbage first."

Moist is not a fan of cabbage, its only slightly more flavorful than some of the stuff his grandmother made him eat.

His companion snorts a laugh, and, right on cue, the waitrat returns with their drinks.

"Thank you," he says again, as gracious as if he were addressing another human being, and hands Alfred one of the glasses. Lifting the other, "To making it through all the cabbage, then?"

The drink is a welcome sight and lifts his glass,

"And finding opportunity. I didn't catch what business you're in, Louie."

"And finding opportunity," he agrees, clinking his glass against Alfred's before he takes a sip.

...Oooh, this is good. Consider the mental note for the future made.

"Eh, nothing all that exciting. Certainly not as impressive as finance, anyway," he says, letting a smidgen of awe seep into his voice. "I'm in education."

"It just seems that way from the outside. Oh do you work for a Guild or a school?"

Though looking impressive is the point of Moist's suit and he allows himself a smile with a hint of self-deprecation in it.

"Neither, really," he confesses; there's a whole lot of self-deprecation to go around, by the sound of it. "Iiiii guess I'm kind of freelance? Or a substitute? It's kind of tough finding work lately."

Or, you know. Ridiculously easy, if you know where to look.

"That seems a shame. Do you specialize in anything?"

Self-deprecation is one of the keys of getting people's gaze off of you, which is why Moist uses it so often.

Hey, if nothing else, he can admire Mr. Spangler giving it the old college try.

Pun totally intended.

"The humanities," he says -- speaking of delightfully awful puns nobody but him will appreciate. (Which seems a bit of a shame, really.) "Mostly philosophy, but I try to dabble and keep myself well-rounded. It's important if you're going to be an educator, you know?"

"I can see that, but I don't know that much. I've done a lot of learning as I go. Though being well-rounded is quite important."

His grandparents tried to give him a good education but Moist has mainly learned on the road.

Both eyebrows rise, and he takes another sip from his glass.

"Yeah? What kind?"

Not enough learning by his standards, clearly.

"I'm not sure what kind to call it. Its more a matter of learning what I think is useful."

Moist knows how to learn enough about something to sound like he knows more than he does. Though the things he knows a lot about aren't as useful, after all no one has ever needed him to train an attack dog.

"For your job in finance."

Because that's totally what he's talking about, right? Right. Of course.

"Yes, I haven't been lucky enough to have anyone decide to tutor me so I've just been learning as I go."

Of course it is, just sometimes they're other people's finances.

"I'm sure you could find somebody if you looked!" he encourages, gesturing toward the other man with his glass. "I mean, unless you don't have a lot of teachers over there on the Disc -- do you?"

"I think most of them are in Ankh-Morpork. Another reason to be moving there."

Also Moist doesn't like asking for help, that requires staying in one place for a while.