In reality, like most of his stunts, the Bar has already charged him. Between her and the waitrats, nothing Vyvyan has damaged, destroyed or eaten in the bar has stayed that way more than a few minutes; most were replaced with stage props before he got to them. The man is too destructive to have things any other way.
He doesn't know that he's already paid, of course.
"Well if you want it back, you'll have to wait in the toilet like the TV detector man."
He gets up and moves closer so that Teja can get some of his stench. And maybe be in range for the more athletic of his fleas. Still swinging the cord.
"I'm very poor and have to eat what I can get. It's easy for you, being well fed and rich."
"A couple of fleas won't hurt you. If you want, I can give you a couple of breeders, then if you want a midnight snack you can just feel around for a few."
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He doesn't know that he's already paid, of course.
"Well if you want it back, you'll have to wait in the toilet like the TV detector man."
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He bites off the cord with the plug on and starts swinging it around, debating whether to throw it at Teja.
"Why've you got hair like a girl?"
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The question is not worth an answer.
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He gets up and moves closer so that Teja can get some of his stench. And maybe be in range for the more athletic of his fleas. Still swinging the cord.
"I'm very poor and have to eat what I can get. It's easy for you, being well fed and rich."
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He takes a step back.
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The mun apologises.
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He's eying Teja up, wondering whether he'd put up a fun fight. Sounds like he's itching for it.
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He leans closer and adds.
"How about you forget being a pig for a moment and we have a good brawl? You look like you're itching for it."
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"No," he says. "If you attack me, I shall arrest you."
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He swings the cable around.
"Do you want some fleas?"
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"A couple of fleas won't hurt you. If you want, I can give you a couple of breeders, then if you want a midnight snack you can just feel around for a few."
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Then, he walks away, towards the forge, where he had been going when he happened upon Vyvyan.
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"Wellington?" he asks. "What did you do to him?"
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"He just seemed a bit higher up than usual. I would have helped him down but, well, the fleas."
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"See you." He starts to wander off towards the forest.
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