milliways_bar | (no subject)

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The Door opens and through it a sharp-eyed patron of Milliways can see the Main Hall of MiB Headquarters. In fact, there's a Man in Black standing in the doorway right now, his back to the bar as he calls out:

"Chief! Zed!" He's yelling.

And somewhere in the distance, Agent J: "Hey, OLD GUY, you can't use the laser platform! It's tech--!"

And now there's a tremendous ROAR of rage, followed by a worlds-shattering CRASH.

Yup, looks like Zed is still having that little problem with technology. K quietly shuts the Door behind him and goes for a drink at the bar. He'll leave J to cover that one.

Learning experience, after all.

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"*I* have been fine, Miss Mia, thanks for asking."

"But our chief's been having a little trouble with technology. As in, it's suddenly stopped working around him. Which can make things a little tricky for an galactic diplomatic and law-enforcement bureau."

"I can imagine how that would be a problem. I've heard of wizards having trouble around technology though it's something I've never experience myself. Know any reason why this might be happening?"

"Oh, I have my suspicions."

"There are these two planets, a few light years away from Earth. For centuries the two races on them have hated each other like nobody's business, but their way of warfare is in the form of pranks. Practical jokes. Funny stuff. Except the kind that can get you seriously dead."

"The MiB have brokered peace deals for the last few wars, but the latest one, well, it got a bit tangled. I have a feeling the two sides have finally agreed on something, and that's that Zed is to blame for not getting them to a deal they could both live with."

The real story is probably a lot messier than that, but K isn't ready to go there.

"Ah, I see. Somewhat like my husband and my ex agreeing to take out Hot Girl News together if they continued to stalk me."

K blinks.

"Uhh. Well, yes, ma'am, I think it is something like that."

"Ah, I guess I didn't tell you about that. I've mentioned to Zed before about how the tabloids like to follow me, Hot Girl News in particular."

Mia has unfortunately been an unwilling centerfold. Scores of young men all over Lunar surely have her pinned to their lockers. Or if not her then Jessica or whoever is the latest dish.

"Well, I'd say they deserve what's coming to them."

"Their offices have been soaked and the reporters have been electrocuted. No idea if they're truly out of business but I've not heard about any further articles or pictures of me since the one about expecting Cepheus here."

"Miss Mia, I have to say: your husband and ex have an admirable directness about them."

"It's why I chose both of them to be my Premiers. It only made sense to appoint Draco since I trust him enough to marry him and Nash and I have managed to remain good friends even after we parted romantically."

Cepheus is starting to get bored with all the adult talk and is leaning against his mother, close to snoozing.

K doesn't blame Cepheus. Hell, the little guy should enjoy that blissful ignorance as long as he can. Plenty of time later for the special joy of screwing over bastards who asked for it.

"But paparazzi aside, things are good?"

Especially if he's anything like his father or his "Uncle" Nash.

"Couldn't be better, really. Even with the hectic task of starting the new school year at the Magic Guild. I intend to return to teaching at least part time there. Mother has been able to help watch Cepheus, so a day or two of teaching a week shouldn't hurt anything."

"Classes in a Magic Guild must be quite a thing to see."

"Absolutely. You would be welcome to observe if you like. Unlike other patrons, I don't keep Milliways a secret from my students and we encourage them to write thesis papers on how they believe the whole thing to work. Though the part about you being from the Blue Star might be a bit too fantastic. They can swallow up theories about magical locations one after the other but make mention of life on other planets and they stand by their legends that Earth is a barren wasteland."

"Miss Mia, I do believe I'll take you up on that offer. We don't get many opportunities to visit locations governed by magical paradigms."

"And don't worry about my cover story. Coming up with those is all part of my job description."

K probably won't even have to neuralyze anybody.

Probably.

Mia would be very upset if he did have to neuralyze someone.

But he shouldn't have to. If anyone learned the truth, they wouldn't believe it.

"Splendid! Do you need me to provide suitable attire for the trip? No offense to your fine clothes but we don't have mass-manufactured clothing and you'd stand out like a frogzard in the town square."

Beat.

"A frogzard being about the size of an Earth elly-phant, I should likely clarify."

K s-t-a-r-e-s at her.

"It's the Suit. My Suit."

K's not sure what just happened, but poor Mia started babbling crazytalk for a moment there. He hopes she isn't coming down with something. Babies do pick up every illness that comes along, after all.

"Okay, okay, you don't have to change your suit."

What is it about men and clothes?

"But it's still something to consider with the students. You're going to stand out and the particularly inquisitive ones will want to know why."

K gives her a cryptic smile. "I have a feeling this Suit will stand out a lot less than you think it will, Mia."

"Let's just say it has certain properties that Milliways patrons don't usually notice."

Probably due to the Landlord minding the store around here, but K's been to enough other worlds to know the normal field of unobstrusiveness reasserts itself as soon as he passes through the Door.

Then again, Mia's magical world might break the usual rules. But even that would be useful to find out.

That does have Mia intrigued but all the ways that his suit will change are related to magic in her mind. It's just how she thinks. She really has no clue how technology would do it.

"Well, if you're sure. Otherwise I guess I'll just have to fabricate an extraordinarily good tailor."

A moment passes and she realizes what she just said, complete with facepalm.

"Just how well do people know geography on your world? Got any uncharted lands left lying around?"

"Seems to me I could always claim to come from one of those."

"There is the Frontier but I know for a fact you wouldn't pass for a Tribesman from there. The people of Vane would expect someone more inhuman."

"If we made one up, could anyone call us on it?"

"I suppose not since some have taken more human shape but it's not really something you would want to be as a disguise. I've referred to them as the Tribesmen but most call them the Vile Tribe. They lived on the Frontier because they were banished by Althena to that desert. They've held it against humans ever since. They've only recently started to realize there are innocent humans as well and have begun their attempt to peacefully integrate. In short, the whole matter is somewhat delicate."

"Can't say claiming to be part of the 'Vile Tribe' has a lot of appeal," K agrees.

"Well, I 'll tell you, Miss Mia. I've spent the last forty plus years getting my way through one impossible mission after another. Why don't we just see how I do?"