milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Val comes into the bar, sans laptop, but with her pen tucked in her braid. Yep, she's got a few bits of green on her cheek and hair again. She gets her tray from Bar, along with a mug, which somehow has gained not only the Rebel Alliance symbol, but a pair of crossed lightsabres on the bar. She blinks at it and shakes her head, sitting down at the bar and pulling out some notecards, scribbling on them. She's on duty, though.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Anakin wanders out of the painting, happier than he's been in a long time. "Hello, Val. How's my favorite daughter-in-law-to-be?"

Val looks up from the notecards and smiles, putting her pen behind her ear as she stands to hug him. "I hope, Anakin, that I'm your only daughter-in-law-to-be, because I'd have to have a long talk with Luke if I wasn't." Her eyes are twinkling, however. "I'm doing pretty well." Better than she has been, certainly.

He kisses her forehead. "You are, you are. What are you working on?"

"Um." She looks down at the cards, then up at him, then down at the cards. The top card has notes surrounding the events of Empire Strikes Back. How could she have -not- told him. Oh, that's right, she didn't know how. Mentally flailing, she looks up at him. "It's, um, something for you, actually. Part of your Christmas present, I guess." She bites her lip, pausing for a moment. This shouldn't be -this- hard.

He looks at her, puzzled. "Something for me?"

"Um, yeah." She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. "In my world, the highest honour someone can get after they die is to have a Speaking requested for them." Another pause. "A Speaking is basically an oration of someone's life, everything they did, good, bad, and inbetween. Nothing is covered up, nothing is glossed over, nothing is inflated. It can be painful, but in the end, it bring understanding, healing, because people can see everything as an entire picture." She finally opens her eyes. "It might be a bit unorthodox because you're here, but..." She trails off. "I'm Speaking you."

"Where are you doing this?" He doesn't know how public a Speaking is. "And for who?"

"The bar." She bites her lip and looks down at her toes. "Part of a Speaking is that it's public, announced, and open for everyone to hear." A long, nervous pause. "It's the day after tomorrow."

"Oh." He is less worried about the effect of the Speaking on himself than it's effect on Luke, Leia, and Padme. Especially Padme. He will be hurt by the recitation of his life, but she will be worse. He hopes she'll be all right. "Thank you, Val," he says a little unconvincingly.

And Val, well, she feels exactly the same way. She buries her head in her hands. "It's going to hurt. I know it is. And it's killing me." She sighs. "But then again, I have to do it. There's only been one other time in my life that I've felt this strongly about something, and that's when I left Earth to go be with Ender." She sighs. "I hate myself for doing it, but I know I have to."

He hugs her tightly. "Val, Val, Val. It's all right. Really."

He's lying, but she needs the comfort. His own fears can be dealt with later.

"It's not, Anakin, and you know it as well as I do." She sighs, unintentionally reflecting feelings at him. Frustration, guilt, resignation. "I'm sorry. It's just... I have to do it. I really do. It's probably going to about kill me, it already is, but I have to." She sighs deeply. "I'm sorry."

For a moment, he's confused, but then he realizes the emotions aren't his. He blocks what Val is sending and frowns at her. "Val, what are you doing?"

She blinks at him. "I'm explaining to you that I'm an idiot? Having a rather emotional conversation?" She looks confused. "What am I doing?"

"You were projecting your emotions, Val."

He touches her with the Force, searching for potential. He doesn't really feel any, but in this place, that's meaningless. "Have you always done that?"

"I was?" She blinks. "I, uh, don't know." She still looks confused, but something nags at her. "I think I might have been doing it yesterday when I was talking to Nick. He wasn't talking, but he was projecting emotions at me. I think I might have been projecting back." She blinks. "Ok, that's just odd."

"Yes. It's not a common gift, and it can be a dangerous one. You should be careful."

Now he's worried. Untrained projective empaths can be trouble.

"I don't even know I'm -doing- it." She puts her head in her hands. "Great. Now I not only wear my heart on my sleeve, but project it to everyone else, too." She resists the urge to headbar. "This week just keeps getting better."

He holds her close. "It's not too bad, Val. You just need to learn how to hold things in better. Think of it this way: there's a wall between you and the world, and your emotions are trapped by that wall. Can you do that?"

She sighs, curling up against him. "Yeah. I think I can do that. I just need to realize when I'm doing it, I guess. But then again, I guess I should think I'm always doing it, cause it's better to be too careful than not careful enough." She bites her lip. Grah.

"With practice, you'll start doing in unconsciously. You just need time to learn."

He hopes she won't start doing in during the Speaking. It's going to be hard enough without Val projecting her pain onto others.

"Yeah, I guess." She mutters a bit incoherently at herself. "Grah. Can't I just make things fly or blow up like a normal person?"

He smiles at her. "Now Val, would you really want to do that?"

"Hey, making things fly would be -cool-. Then I wouldn't have to get up when I wanted a different book." She cracks a small smile.

"I *suppose* that would be useful, but wouldn't that make you lazy, too?"

He's teasing.