milliways_bar | (no subject)

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There's a strange robot in the bar. Its head/body is shaped somewhat like an elongated egg, with gangly mechanical arms sprouting from the top and legs from the bottom. It has a single eye in the form of a glowing orange camera lens. Slightly below and to the left of this eye is a crookedly applied "Hello, My Name Is" sticker with the name "Ed" written on it in childish scrawl.

The robot is playing a game of fetch involving a Welsh corgi, a red dingly bouncy ball, and a portal gun.

[OOC: Slowtime at about 1:30 EST, but I'll be happy to respond to any tags.

Watch this video to get a better idea of Ed's Cubefall form in action.]

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Don't ask how D0G got from the Australian outback to Milliways. He's not entirely sure himself. In any case, he does an excited little dance when he sees the changed décor. It's Cubefall again!

The weird white robot produces an electronic chirp that can be best translated as ":D!"

It runs up to D0G (clank-clank-clank-clank-clank-clank) and enthusiastically glomps him (clonnnnngggg!).

The noise D0G makes in response is more like "????". Who is this strange robot and why is it clinging to him?

A clue comes in the form of a very familiar corgi galloping in the strange robot's wake. "Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!"

D0G looks at Ein for a long moment.

Then at the white robot.

Then back to Ein.

Then back to the white robot.

"!?!"

The robot lets go of D0G, drops to the floor, and uses its free hand (the one not holding the Portal gun) to point at its "Hello My Name Is Ed" sticker.

D0G nods with a long mwrrrrr of understanding. Then he points to the portal gun with a questioning noise. It looks kinda like that thing Chell uses sometimes...

":)!" says Ed. She fires a yellow portal and a reddish-orange portal at the wall and the floor respectively. Then she sticks her arm through the wall mounted portal. It appears out of the floor portal and waves.

D0G squeals excitedly and attempts to shove himself through.

'Attempts' being the operative word here. The Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device creates portals big enough to accommodate an adult human. D0G is considerably taller and wider than that.

"!" exclaims Ed, looking back and forth from the wall portal to the floor portal. She grabs on to D0G and tries to pull him back (without success, of course).

D0G's feet and hands scrabble uselessly against the wood paneling and hardwood floor. MooWEEP!

Ed finally wises up and leaves the wall portal to join D0G's head at the floor portal. "!" she says, pointing at the Bar. If D0G changes into a smaller form, then he'll be able to fit through the quantum space hole!

Oh, right! D0G nods eagerly and withdraws himself from the portal.

Only he can't.

"!!!!"

"!!!" Ed runs back and forth between the two portals a couple of times, then stops and looks carefully at the floor portal. ":)!" She puts a hand on D0G's head and gently pulls him, indicating that he should shift position a bit so the part of him getting caught on the edge of the portal will instead clear it.

That does the trick! D0G withdraws successfully, and then gives robot!Ed a cheerful bweep and a thumbs-up.

Ed trills something that sounds like "Yaaaay!" and dances around D0G. Part of the dance involves twirling her body around 180 degrees without moving her legs and arms. It's kind of impressive.

D0G beeps amiably and lumbers over to Bar. The VidWindow he's presented with is pretty similar to the one he got last year, and the year before that. He's just about to pick the big black dog when he spots a new option added to the bottom of the list. He peers close, scrutinizing it for a long moment, before making his selection.

The robot that appears in his place is of a similar model to Ed, only squatter and with a blue eye instead of a red one.

":D :D :D!" says Ed.

The responding chirp is lower-pitched and slightly more subdued, but still enthusiastic. D0G lifts his portal gun with an inquiring noise. Should he try it?

Ed jumps up and down, flailing her arms and making a sort of vweeet! noise. Seems like the answer is yes.

Pwomp. Pwomp. And now there's a blue-rimmed portal on the ceiling and a cyan-rimmed one on the far wall.

":D!" Says Ed. She runs for the cyan portal on the wall, darts through, falls out the blue portal, and twists just in time to land on her feet on the floor (clunk!). ":D :D :D!"

":D!" goes the blue-eyed robot. He drops into the red portal on the floor and out the yellow one on the wall. He doesn't quite stick the landing, but seems no less pleased for it.

Ed has some very interesting ideas about what she and D0G could do with four portals, but the Bar proper isn't big enough. And there's a risk of running into squishy people at high speeds.

"... !" Ed says, pointing in the direction of the secret garage entrance. That's pretty big, and there are few to no squishy people.

D0G nods eagerly and scampers toward the elevator.

There's a bit of a logistical issue as both Ed and D0G attempt to get into the elevator at the same time, but they sort it out after a minute or so.

Once they reach the garage and emerge (after another spot of logistical trouble), Ed starts looking for interesting surfaces upon which to stick quantum space holes. Sure, the walls, floor and ceiling will do, but something with a little angle to it would be nice.

D0G angles his shoulder in a 'follow me' gesture, and tromps along the near wall of the garage.

After a bit, the wall opens up to reveal a spiral ramp going upward, with "LEVEL 2" painted on it. (Don't ask where the second level is relative to the Bar proper. It's the sort of thing that would give a topologist a throbbing migraine.)

"Oooooo!" says Ed. She didn't know there was more to the garage!

D0G nods. Pwomp goes a cyan portal on the ramp surface.

":D?"

Ed makes a kind of beedledeedledee noise and hops up and down. She fires an orange portal on the floor not far away and then a red one on the ceiling. "!" she insists, pointing at the patch of floor directly under the ceiling portal.

D0G can be a bit slow on the uptake, but he gets what's wanted here. Pwomp.

"Woohoo!" goes Ed. She jumps in the yellow portal, falls through the red portal into the dark blue portal, and shoots out of the cyan portal, following a flat arc that takes her across the garage. ":D!"

...and right onto the broad side of that U-Haul.

WHAM.

D0G winces.

":(!" Ed complains as she untangles her limbs and clambers to her feet. That didn't hurt at all, and she's none the worse for wear, but still.

":(?" D0G calls out in concern. You okay, Ed?

Ed gives D0G a thumbs-up and trots back over to him. She looks at the arrangement of portals. "!" she says. Clearly they need to rethink their positioning if they don't want to smack into stuff.

D0G plonks his but down on the ground and assumes a Serious Thinking pose. This is gonna be complicated.

Meanwhile, Ed goes from one portal to another, quietly chattering to herself. After a time, she returns to D0G. "!" she says. She changes the location of her ceiling portal so it's aligned directly above the one she has on the floor. "! !" she instructs, pointing to D0G and then her floor portal.

D0G stands and walks over to the edge of the floor portal. He peers nervously into the infinitely looping abyss.

"! :)!" Ed encourages him. She knows what she's doing. Presumably.

":/..."

Even though she's a robot with a very limited range of expression and only one eye, Ed manages to look like a sad puppy. ":(?"

"..."

Dang, he really can't say no to that face. D0G lets out a resigned sigh and steps into the floor portal.

"Vweeeee!" says Ed. She watches D0G fall from ceiling to floor several times, building up to terminal velocity. She aims her portal gun carefully and, when she feels the time is right, she shoots and positions her ceiling portal right over D0G's floor portal.

It's a good thing robots don't have inner ears or digestive systems, or D0G would have puked by now.

As it is: "!!!!!!!!!!!" he crows as he's launched across the parking lot.

":D!!!" says Ed, jumping and spinning around as D0G touches down. "! :)!" Now Ed wants to switch places so she can try.

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