milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Barbara rolls into the bar, and automatically looks around.

She spots a young blond woman behind the bar's massive length.

She swallows. And heads straight for the ladies' restroom where she looks around to make sure no one's there before taking a deep breath, leaning her head down into her lap, and beginning to laugh. And laugh and laugh. Until she starts crying in relief, the tears streaming down her cheeks almost unnoticed as she throws her head back.

"YES!"

[You're welcome to catch her if you're, you know, in the ladies'.

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Steph swallows down the lump in her throat.

"... Why?"

The other Steph had had six years to learn to live with burning Gotham down, killing all those people. It's still terribly fresh, for this one.

"Because I owed it to you," Barbara says, still smiling even as her eyes darken slightly.

She'd lost track of Stephanie in all the chaos. Hadn't even thought to look for her. And look what had happened.

Steph stuffs her hands into the pockets of her shorts, wishing it wasn't so hot in Africa and wishing she'd been wearing long sleeves and pants.

"Babs, I - you know I started it. Everything. The war."

"What I know," Barbara says, "is that that's not true."

Steph sits down on the Convenient Washroom Bench to be at a better height, folding her arms around herself.

"Sure."

"You don't believe me."

That's not a question.

Steph gives her a small smile. "You're smart."

Everyone knows that.

"And I know things," Babs adds helpfully.

"Not all the things, apparently." Steph smiles at her, awkwardly. "Leslie said Batman cut off your network. Maybe you missed how it started."

"I know how it started," Babs answers softly. "There isn't much that people can keep hidden from me. Not if it's in a computer."

Steph looks at the floor. Fascinating tiles.

"I wouldn't have rescued me. I didn't even save Orpheus. I didn't save anyone."

Barbara reaches out and lays a hand silently on Steph's shoulder.

Steph will not break down.

She hasn't talked to anyone about this. Not even the therapists. They didn't know who she was, what she'd done. alked about the torture, sure. Not about why it happened. Not about what Steph did.

Still, bathrooms are the place for emotional discussions. Everyone knows that.

She swallows fiercely. "What happened in Gotham? After I - after?"

"It survived," Barbara says softly. "It... began to recover."

Like it always does.

"What about --"

Steph agreed to go to Kenya. She agreed to let everyone think she was dead. It seemed easiest. But ...

"What about Tim?

Barbara sighs softly. "He blames himself." For Steph's death.

"But he'll make it." Babs will make sure of it.

Steph nods, looking a little confused.

How could he possibly have had anything to do with it?

But there are more important things.

"... Cass?"

"Have you ever tried lying to Cass?" Babs asks with an amused little sigh.

Babs knows Stephanie is not dead, and Cass has talked to her, so...

Steph smiles a little, dropping her head. She can imagine.

"How is she, though? I mean - is everything okay?"

"I don't really know what would shake her," Babs shrugs. "I mean... she didn't really get hurt, of course, and... she hasn't said anything."

Cass has always been hard to read.

"She didn't -- who did get hurt?" Steph asks sharply, a note of panic in her voice.

"You did," Babs points out.

"Who that matters."

Barbara's face twists slightly.

...

"Dick got hurt. Not nearly as bad as you."

Nightwing got hurt.

Because of her.

She nods, accepting that knowledge grimly. "Will he heal?"