Bartending!

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

Was it his idea, or Sallie's? He isn't sure, but it's a good idea. Bartending will be something new for him, and he could use that. And never mind that his knowledge of alcoholic beverages begins with beer and ends with his years of being a zen teetotaler.

Luckily, he finds some sort of e-book. Easily sortable. Lightweight.

THE BARTENDER IS IN
Stump the tender and your drink is half off

Yes, using a book is cheating. But it will be a lot more manageable as well. And he'll learn all about drinks that way.

Comments

[crabbycustomer]

The bar does not let Karkat have alcohol, either because of his age or out of general wisdom. And frankly he doesn't have any particular desire to dull the edge of his all-spanning fury with an intoxicants. However, a challenge is a challenge.

Without prelude: "I WOULD BET THE DORSAL HALF OF MY THINKSPONGE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT PATEVINO IS."

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"Let me look." He takes the marvel of bartending technology, enters a search term...

...and comes up empty.

"Guess you would win. Which is good, I suppose, since you need your thinksponge."

What on Earth is Charlie talking to? Charlie has no idea.

This is cool.

[crabbycustomer]

He is talking to a grey adolescent alien, obviously. Well, he could be a demon. Or an orc, maybe.

"OBVIOUSLY IT IS A COMPLETELY ILLEGAL LIQUOR MADE BY FERMENTING THE BRAINS OF GEESE WITH HELLEBORE. I DON'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY DRINK THAT SHIT NOW DO I?"

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"It's a free country. Or bar. Or afterlife. Or alternate reality. Take your pick. So, no, you don't have to drink it."

"Also," he suggests, "you don't have to scream. I may be dead but I'm not deaf." Snarky Charlie is snarky.

[crabbycustomer]

"I'M NOT SCREAMING," he says, offended. He's not really; his voice is loud, but not really shouting. And hoarse. "IF I START SCREAMING EVERYONE WILL FUCKING KNOW IT."

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"Ah. Sorry." Pause. "So do you actually want a drink?"

Curiouser and curiouser, to borrow a phrase.

[crabbycustomer]

"EH, I GUESS, I REALLY JUST CAME OVER HERE TO TROLL YOU BUT I MIGHT AS WELL. THERE SHOULD BE SOME MURDERBERRY JUICE BACK THERE AND IF YOU CAN FIND THE KIND WITH THE PIPS IT WOULD BE GREAT, THE GODDAMN BAR WON'T EVER SERVE ME ANY WITH THE PIPS."

Because they are incredibly dangerous if you accidentally swallow one, probably.

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"Never got trolled in person before." He starts to look among the many, many bottles. (How on earth does Sallie keep this all straight?) "But I should expect that. Everyone likes a challenge.

"I found something marked 'murderberry.' Can't tell if it has pips, though."

[crabbycustomer]

"IT WON'T," he says sourly. "IT NEVER DOES. IT'S LIKE SHE THINKS I'M A NUMBSPONGE WRIGGLER ASSHOLE WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO MANAGE A POTENTIALLY LETHAL BEVERAGE."

"TROLLING OVER THE INTERNET IS A POOR SUBSTITUTE TO TROLLING IN PERSON, BUT IT HAS A SIGNIFICANTLY LESS HIGH RISK OF GETTING WALLOPED IN THE CARTILAGE NUB."

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"True." Pause. "Not that I have a cartilage nub.

"I have to ask...what are you?" "Being tactful" remains low on Charlie's to-do list

[crabbycustomer]

"YOU HAVE A PARTICULARLY LARGE AND UGLY ONE SMACK IN THE CENTER FOR YOUR FACE," Karkat says, with an air of benighted patience, "AND I'M A TROLL. I'M SORRY, I THOUGHT THAT WAS OBVIOUS."

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"Oh. Got it." He going to have to listen closely, clearly. "And I never actually thought that Internet trolls were literally trolls. That might change my entire worldview." Or not.

"Charlie. Quite human."

[crabbycustomer]

"OBVIOUSLY." He makes it sound like an insult.

"MOST OF THEM AREN'T, OF COURSE, BUT THEY UNKNOWINGLY CARRY ON THE LEGACY OF THEIR AND YOUR CREATORS, WHICH IS A LONG STUPID STORY YOU WON'T BELIEVE ANYWAY, SO NEVER MIND. THE POINT IS I COME FROM ANOTHER PLANET AND WE TROLLED THE SHIT OUT OF EVERYONE, INCLUDING EACH OTHER, PRETTY MUCH FULL-TIME, FACE TO FACE OR ONLINE."

"IT SURVIVES ON EARTH MOSTLY ONLINE BECAUSE HUMANS HAVE A LOT BIGGER PROBLEM WITH FULLY POINTLESS VIOLENCE."

[longlonghair]

"Stump the bartender...in what way?"

Rapunzel takes a seat at the bar, with a smudge of paint on her shin (she may or may not be aware of it) in a lovely shade of forest green.

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"Hey...we met once, right?" Amazingly, he doesn't remember her name. "Ask for a drink, and if I can't find a recipe, you get your drink half off.

"Though if I can't make it, you can't get it. A bit of a paradox, if you think about it."

[longlonghair]

She laughs at bit at his explanation.

"We may have met once, but I had a bit of a hiccup with time, so please forgive my memory. I'm Rapunzel."

She can't think of any tricky drinks, off hand.

"I'll just have a glass of Atlantean."

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"Right." He points at the hair, as if it's obvious. "Charlie. And I know about that. Memory problems, I mean. Not Atlantean." He pours her a tall one.

[longlonghair]

"I left to go back to my home world; three months passed in the bar, and several years passed for me."

She shakes her head, still dismayed by it all.

"I'm still working up the courage to go back and see if it will lock me out, again."

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"I don't get to go home anymore, sad to say. The time and memory I lost, I lost here. A side effect of being dead, I guess." He pours himself a water.

"I guess it was surreal when you came back."

[longlonghair]

"I'm sorry; I didn't realize, or remember, if you told me before."

There's really no way to tell the living from the dead just by looking.

"It was a huge relief, though once I found out that only a relatively short time had passed here, it made it a bit easier. I wouldn't have coped well, otherwise."

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"And all that time at home, you kept looking for a door? You must have left something behind." He wonders if he would have done that for Myra. Probably not, since he never tried to find her again after they said goodbye the last time.

[longlonghair]

"Someone, actually. I was terrified that after years of my absence, he would have found someone else and moved on. There must be a God somewhere, looking out for me."

She takes a sip of her drink and enjoys the cool wine's unique flavor.

"You said you've lost your memory since coming to Milliways?"

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

Charlie ponders that any guy she would wait for must be something special, and that any guy who wouldn't wait for her is a fool. But that's not his place to say.

"I've lost chunks of it. Mainly things that happened her. Names, faces, events, and a sense of time with it. Sallie and I sometimes wonder if it's related to being dead. Or dead and bored."

[longlonghair]

She and Alex would argue those same questions, she's sure.

"Hmmm. I don't know that I've discussed being dead with anyone else; I wouldn't have any idea if that's normal or not. Is Sallie someone you met here?"

[52-dropoff.livejournal.com]

"I've talked to only a few others. We tend not to seek each other out. I guess it's a little creepy.

"You've never met Sallie Reynolds, the barman...barwoman...co-manager of the place?" He really could do with silly gender labels.