(no subject)

[has_no_future]

(OOM http://has-no-future.livejournal.com/754.html)


Kai opened the door to his home and found himself in Milliways. For him, this was a good place for his research. He headed to a table and sat down to read his enormous pile of books.  He's totaly botherable. 

Comments

[death_gone_mad]

Totally botherable. But distractable? We'll see.

"Aha!" There is a woman at one of the tables of this fine eating establishment that is not eating. Or drinking. She is dissecting sausages, and not with dining knifes and forks. She is using actual, honest to goodness dissection kits.

The cause of her exclamation is a thin triangular white thing that she is holding with a pair of tweezers.

[has_no_future]

Yes, yes he is. Kai jumped.

"Excuse me," he said, "What is that?"

He pointed at the sausage and the thing.

[death_gone_mad]

She turns to see who is asking.

Well, that is a colorful way to dress...

"This," she says looking at the object held by the tweezers, "is either a bone chip left behind in this sausage by a butcher who wasn't paying attention," the logical explanation, "or it is a tooth belonging to this odd creature," and there's the milli-logic explanation.

She inspects it closer. "It has too smooth a surface to be a bone chip, though."

[has_no_future]

Well, she has colorful hair!

"What is that creature?" he asked looking closer, "And what is a sausage?"

[death_gone_mad]

She picks up a bright red hotdog and wiggles it about. "Sausages are food. They are usually made of spare ground organ meat stuffed into an intestine or something. Some butchers don't like wasting meat that people don't normally buy."

The hot dog, tired of mistreatment and the woman's obvious lack of hunger, bites her.

She yelps and the hotdog bursts into flames. "That wasn't a sausage," she says, visibly angered. "Darn, I burned another one."

[has_no_future]

The sausage thing bursting into flames surprised Kai.

"How did you do that?" he asked, "And why did it bite you?"

[death_gone_mad]

"I... it burst into flames on its own." Yeah, right...

"That was why I am cutting these things open. But I don't know how these things keep biting me; they have no internal organs. They are just masses of minced meat." And maybe a couple teeth, but the tooth she found earlier was the only one she had seen so far.

"That was one of the red ones that bit me, correct?" she asks as she goes back to work. It is as if she hadn't been bitten at all.

[has_no_future]

"I... uh.... yeah," he said , "How does that work?"

[death_gone_mad]

"That is what I am trying to to determine." She looks over the assorted sausages and grabs another red one, pinning it to a new dissection tray. The hotdog doesn't yelp out in pain but then again, the one she took the tooth from didn't either. "I don't see how such things can actually be alive."

[has_no_future]

"Maybe some kind of mystic force," said Kai.

[death_gone_mad]

"Oh no. That would make sense. If only I were as good at sensing magic as I was at using it."

She goes back to dissecting before remembering, "Oh, how rude of me. My name is Sarah Black. What is yours?"

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy is... not having a good day.

Mostly because he's been taken over by a mysterious virus; but at least the telepathy is trying to tell him not to worry about it.

Right now he's at the bar, wearing a hoodie and eating a bowl of ketchup.

[has_no_future]

Kai had walked up to the bar for a drink.

"What is that?" asked Kai of the bowl of ketchup.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Ketchup. Want some?" Guppy asks.

You don't really want to share that.

[has_no_future]

"What is it?" asked Kai wary.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Ketchup. I never realised how good this stuff is."

[has_no_future]

"What is it made of?" asked Kai.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Er... tomato, sugar, water... sugar."

[has_no_future]

"What is tomato?" asked Kai looking at the man, " Are you okay?"

[guppy_sandhu]

"Got a bit of a bug, but it's..."

Not contagious.

"Not contagious."

[has_no_future]

"Right," said Kai, "Have you had a physician take a look at you?"

[guppy_sandhu]

"Yeah, Dr Hadley told me to keep an eye on it." Guppy says, waving a hand.

[has_no_future]

"huh," he said with a shrug.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Can I get you anything?"

[has_no_future]

"Um... No," said Kai worried, "I think I will have a coke and some fruit."

This guy was freaking him out.

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy gets him a coke and some fruit.

He gets himself a banana, and dips it in the ketchup.

"There you go."

[has_no_future]

Kai took his fruit and soda.

"Does that go together well?" he asked indicating the banana and ketchup.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Not very." Guppy admits. "Maybe some strawberry sauce would be better."

[has_no_future]

"Yeah," said Kai.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Want some?" Guppy asks, squirting it liberally on the banana.

[has_no_future]

"I am not sure," said Kai hesitantly.

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy eats the banana, all at once.

"Now that cuts the mustard."

[has_no_future]

"What is mustard?" asked Kai.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Sauce." Guppy says.

Bite him.

[has_no_future]

"But that was strawberry sauce on a banana fruit," pointed out Kai, "Why did you say that it cut the mustard?"

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy's eyes flicker red.

He takes Kai's hand, trance-like, looks at it for a moment, then then bites it.

[has_no_future]

Kai took his hand back, "What in the two Universes was that for?!"

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy blinks at him, slowly.

"What was what... I..." he looks bewildered, like he doesn't know where he is.

[has_no_future]

"You just bit me!"

[guppy_sandhu]

"I did? Oh no, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to..."

Guppy looks alarmed.

Don't tell him. You should run.

He gets up and runs off upstairs, abandoning his sticky banana.