Vendor trash.

[forgoodorforawesome]

It's been about three days since Strong Bad put a particularly potent sausage into his face. He's been spending a lot of the intervening time rubbing Quite Fancy 'Chup and other substances of much ilk on the rashes that broke out on him and his The Cheat.

Now, he's substantially hairier than he's ever before been, and he's... roaming the grounds with a cart?

"Hot dogs! Get'cher hot dogs! Get 'em while they're hot, get 'em while they're dogs!"



And what's that creature prowling through the nearby woods?

Comments

[death_gone_mad]

There is a woman headed out to the grenade range with a cage full of cute fuzzy harmless animals.

"Hot dogs?"

That looks like a food cart. Maybe it's food?

[forgoodorforawesome]

"Hot dogs," Strong Bad confirms. "How d'you take 'em? Mild or spicy? Mustard, relish, onions, cheez food or ketchup? Can I get you a soda to go with?"

[death_gone_mad]

"Spicy." It is a food! Maybe. Well, this is one way of finding out.

"Soda? Who would drink soda?"

[forgoodorforawesome]

"Goood question! Who would drink soda with a hot dog when they could have a cold one instead?" He opens the chilled side of the cart and tugs on the rack with the ice in which the sodas are resting. It slides aside, revealing another box of ice with bottles of beer in it. "Keep this under your hat, okays? I don't exactly have a liquor license for this thing." He starts to close things up...

(make sure to close the sale)

...but catches himself. "You want the one now, or after I serve dat dawg? I like mine CUH-HOLD, but you gots the look about you of someone from foreign lands, where I've hoid they take their ones any temperature from not so cold to..." Shudder. "...warm."

[death_gone_mad]

Soda to her means smelly spring water. The slightly caustic kind.

Oh wait, she knows who would drink soda! Health nuts! Paradoxically. Because if it comes out of the earth, it must be natural, and nature is good.

No, not health nuts, nature nuts. Balance nuts. The idiots who still worship the snoring god. And crystals. And like wearing green.

"Oh! How considerate of you. I'll have that beer after the hotdog." Maybe it is an actual dog. It unfortunate that eating dogs became taboo back home. No one knows how to properly cook a dog anymore.

[forgoodorforawesome]

Strong Bad knows nothing of what's going through his customer's mind, but if he did, he'd be reminded of Marzipan. Except that even soda (the way he's using the word) would be too much for the broom; she might actually appreciate smelly and slightly caustic spring water.

"I can see you're a lady of taste and maybe wealth. I can't hardly wait'll you share some'a that wealth." He closes up the drinks drawer and opens the end with the wieners in it, to lift one into a bun. "So what'cha want on it?"

[death_gone_mad]

"Oh! It's a sausage. Its..." one of the red ones that insisted on biting her.

A wicked smile crosses her face. The cute fuzzies. Time to experiment.

"Make it as spicy as you can. Hot onions, hot relish, hot mustard, whatever you have." The cute fuzzies love spicy food.

[forgoodorforawesome]

"Yeah, it's a sausage." He gives her a look that only a lungfish could have copied. "Do they not got hot dogs in your country?"

He clamps down his mouth at the request for maximum spicy-tude. "Yoooooooooou got it, lady!" He lifts out one of the spicier breeds of wiener into the waiting bun and begins amping up its heat. He doesn't have noticeably hot onions or relish, just regular type (so that's what he uses), but he does have wasabi mustard and several other potent toppings, all of which he applies. "Here you go, marm. Knock yourself out. Literally." He hands it over and heads for the drinks drawer to fetch the requested cold one.

[death_gone_mad]

"Well, not ones that look like that. Is it made of dogs?"

She accepts the hotdog, and when the strange masked ... well... humanoid... has his back turned, she drops it into the cage. The hotdog gets devoured, but what is interesting, at least to the woman, is that the cute fuzzies start biting each other.

But soon the interest becomes concern and when Strong Bad looks back, he'll see the woman with one of the cute fuzzies in her throwing hand, about to launch it far, far away. And an expression best described as OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT!

[forgoodorforawesome]

"No, but there's a kind of dog that's shaped like these sausages. I think it's called a dachshund, but nobody can spell that, so they call the sausages hot dogs and call the dachshunds wiener dogs. And now you know...the rest of the story."

Then come the preparations, and the fetching of the beer. And the turning back to see the critter about to be thrown. "Aim for the demon bunnies!" he hastily advises.

[death_gone_mad]

"DEMON BUNNIES? There is no time to look for demon bunnies!" And away goes cute fuzzy creature #1.

(Set them free)

She turns back to the cage and still running on adrenaline she snatches another up. She sees that the cute fuzzies aren't biting each other anymore, and it is then she realizes the one she just threw hasn't exploded.

Cute fuzzy #2 still in hand, she searches for #1. She spots #1 running back toward her, she is about to throw #2 at it, when she hesitates, giving #2 the opportunity to bite her.

#2 gets tossed.

(She is resisting it. She has to be disposed of. Set them free and they will take care of her.)

"Why aren't they exploding?"

She grabs #3 and runs, hoping to lead #1 and #2 away from the cage.

The cute fuzzies were already red and fuzzy, so the obious signs that they had been turned aren't that obvious.

(She ran off without paying. Set them free.)

[forgoodorforawesome]

"Are they supposed to explode? That is one bleeped-up world you come from, lady!"

Then she runs off. "All right, already. Hold your freakin' horses, voice dude. Now that I know I'm don't gets paid..." He opens the cage and lets the critters out. "Fly! Be free! Splo her up real good!" he says to them. To the voice, he says, "Happy now?"

(Yes. Much better.)

[death_gone_mad]

And the whole bunch of them run off after her, headed toward the mountains.

There are one or two explosions but not the big BOOM that the whole group would have made.

███████ has left Milliways!

via the Labyrinth for the curious