milliways_bar | (no subject)

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The debriefing with Zachariah had not been pleasant.

Fortunately, he had stopped short of taking punitive action. Castiel had, after all, gone to the barn with the honest intent of doing his duty and killing Anna. None of them had foreseen her taking a gamble as big as pitting demons against her brothers.

Still, Castiel has gotten what you might call an earful of biblical proportions.

He is quite relieved to be able to take refuge in Milliways for a while.

Castiel is sitting in a booth. A mug of coffee is on the table in front of him.

It’s full. He just wants to appear occupied.

[Plotlocked: Here there be very focused and powder-keggy angels.]

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"That stuff'll make you jittery, you know."

His once and current sister has just arrived in the chair opposite his.

"Hello, baby brother.

"Glad to see me?"

Castiel knew that this meeting was coming. He didn't know that it was coming at this moment. He had no idea when it would take place. But Anna had found him here once as a mortal child.

It never occurred to him that she would not find him here again. As herself.

He has thought about how he would react when it happened. Now it's happening, and he still has no idea.

"The affect is negligible, and then only if I drink large quantities," he says in the direction of the coffee mug.

Castiel lifts his eyes.

"Anna."

It comes out sounding more wary than he intends.

"I......am not displeased to see you."

"Castiel.

"If not displeased, than what?

"It's a fair question.

"You did mean to kill me the last time I saw you."

"That remains to be seen."

There are a number of factors at play. Not the least of which is what sort of grudge she may be deciding to hold.

"I did."

There's no point at all in pussy-footing around that.

Castiel tilts his head, looking at her. Just looking.

"Your human body," he says, finally.

It looks good for having disintegrated back in that barn.

"It was destroyed, yes.

"I called in an old favor."

And that's all he's going to hear about that.

"How've you been, little brother?"

There are so many ways he could answer that question.

Over twenty years of ways. To an angel it's a span of time equivalent to the second hand pushing forward on a clock, and yet it had strained as it had passed.

For now, Castiel decides to draw on the immediate.

"My superior is highly displeased."

"Yes, I'll bet she is.

"Or he?

"Who've they got you reporting to these days?"

"I've been assigned to Zachariah."

He's not sure if Anna had ever had dealings with him. Castiel had not before that night on Cheat Mountain.

"Ecanus was placed in charge of our group after you left."

"He's dead now."

"Ecanus."

Perfectly capable.

Nothing remarkable.

"I'm sorry."

Something angry and mulish passes through Castiel's eyes, and for a brief moment, he looks like nothing more or less than an outraged little brother.

"Are you, really?"

"He was my brother, too.

"But I guess I deserved the question."

The anger passes as quickly as it ignited. Castiel goes back to staring at his mug of cooling coffee.

For a moment. Or three.

Until he's composed again.

"It cannot be undone now."

None of it.

"No, it can't.

"Not by us, anyway."

She supposes their Father could undo anything He liked.

If He liked.

Even angels have to learn to deal with consequences.

"Why are you here, Anna?"

It's not accusatory. It's not even curious.

Resigned might be the best description.

Anna shrugs.

"I don't know.

"I guess I thought we should talk.

"Somewhere you don't have to try to kill me on sight."

Not that he'd succeed.

Still, it would be . . . awkward.

"Would you like me to go?"

It would be awkward. And potentially painful. And X would not be at all amused.

A part of him would like her to go. To let her simply be the Undesirable To Be Killed On Sight. It would make things much easier.

Another part of him just wants to sit here and talk to his sister. Pretend things are the way they used to be.

That can't happen, but Castiel decides he doesn't want her to go. Not just yet.

"No. I don't."

It's only a little bit grudging.

"Was there something in particular you wanted to talk about?"

He can think of many things, but isn't sure at all where to start.

Anna shrugs again.

Has he forgotten who he is dealing with?

This is the sister who expected him to pick their directions occasionally.

It's good for him.

"Is there anything in particular you want to talk about?"

Topics spring to mind in a flurry that almost rivals the swirl of emotions he's currently attempting to manage.

But out of the chaos, two words push themselves to the forefront.

"You Fell."

Two words, and in them is every question he's wanted to ask her since that day.

The first being why?

"Yes."

Sorry, Cas.

You're going to have to actually ask the question if you want the answer.

It's a struggle to get his thoughts in line.

Castiel doesn't care for it.

"I don't understand."

Even when he had looked back and seen the path leading up to it, at the core he never understood.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Anna stares at him for a long moment.

"Tell you what?" she asks, finally.

Incredulous.

Amused.

"Tell you that I had decided to Disobey?

"Really?

"Which option would you have taken?

"Turning a blind eye or turning me in?"

"I've asked myself that question more often than you know."

More than anything, Castiel would like to have something to do with his hands right now.

"Not that it mattered. Do you think they were so quick to accept that I had no knowledge of what you'd planned to do?"

It had just been questioning.

Bad cops could learn a thing or two from Heaven's questioning.

"Were you afraid to hear the arguments against your plan?"

"But they did accept it. Because you truly had no knowledge of what I planned."

And call her crazy (you wouldn't be the first), Anna doubts they would have accepted it if he'd actually know anything at all.

"And no, I don't think you could have made an argument against it that I hadn't already made.

"Or do you really believe that I looked up one morning out of the blue, no prior thought, and went, 'I think I'll Fall today'?"

It took centuries to make that decision.

Unmake it.

Remake it.

Unmake it and remake it again.

And again and again and again.

"I don't know. I've never known what to think."

Yes, logically, the decision must have been long in the making. But at the same time, one day she must have woken up with the determination to carry it through.

And who knows what he might have been able to do if he had had warning?

"Was it worth it?" he asks after a long moment.

"Yes."

No hesitation.

No equivocation.

No rationalization.

Just yes.