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Shephard generally makes a point of waking up very early in the day to go out and get his daily run around the lake in, along with as much PT as possible. Some mornings, he gets up earlier than others for various reasons. This was one of those mornings.

"I am so fucking sorry," he tells the Bar when he comes in. "You have no idea how goddamn sorry I am. I swear to God I did not know she'd do that all over the bed while I was sleepin' in it."

He'll be starting off his day with orange juice, for once. This is not a morning on which he has any need of coffee.

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"...I hope that's about a pet."

Robo hopes that so much.

"M'dog," Shephard acknowledges gloomily. "I got no fuckin' clue how she pulled it off without wakin' me up but I swear to fuckin' God I woke up this mornin' to a bed with the bottom quarter soaked clear through'n nine brand spankin' new puppies crawlin' all over their momma."

"I'm pretty sure it's traditional to bring up something about the miracle of life here, but, eh, robot and all."

Robo heads a little closer, flipping the magazine he was reading shut as he goes. No need to yell this sort of thing all over the place.

"You looking to keep all the pups, or can I look forward to a a cardboard box of 'em up for adoption down here eventually.?"

"Depends. They ain't dog dogs, exactly," Shephard says. "Species ain't from Earth. I ain't real sure how many of 'em're gonna survive. There weren't but four in the litter I got their momma from when I caught her in the wild. Might be like you git with some birds, might be the whole litter lives. I got to see first before I start shovin' 'em off on the unsuspecting."

"Especially if the mother had been getting regular feedings too," allows Robo, "Biology isn't my strong suit, but it'd make sense. How alien are your pets anyway?"

"Looks like a Christmas ham on legs," Shephard says. "Front end's covered in eyes, mouth's on the bottom. Two legs up front, one under the rear. Give 'em a little bit to wind up'n they got a kind of resonant bark that'll break a man's bones. I ain't real sure but I think the momma's feedin' the puppies out of her back somehow."

That is in the running for least dog like dog Robo has ever heard of.

"Not anywhere near the Earth I know then," says Robo, "Not near any of them actually. Even in the Vampire Dimension something like that would have stood out."

"Eggheads back home called the dimension the species comes from 'Xen'," Shephard says. "I been there once or twice. Ain't my idea of nowhere sane. Fuckin' place is full of floating rock islands'n shit."

"...Floating in what?"

"Air. Ain't sure if it's the sky on account of I ain't never seen far enough down to know if there's a ground."

"Right. Sure. Who needs to follow actual physics when you can have something from a fever dream of a steam punk asteroid patch?" Robo heaves a sigh before continuing. "If you have time travel I'm going to have to go away and, I don't know, put some practice in with the lightning gun until the world starts having rules again."

"Naw, no time travel, the eggheads ain't that crazy," Shephard says. "Only found out about Xen 'cause it's easier for 'em to do teleportation by makin' shit go from Earth into Xen and then come out somewheres else than it is to just go from A to B. They just happened to up'n tear the world a couple zillion new fuckin' assholes in the process and we got extradimensional alien shit to show for it."

"You mind if I get a year on that?" asks Robo, "Preventing that sort of thing is kind of a job for me."

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"...what animal gave birth?"

No seriously, the comedic universe have this habit of 'when she did this in my bed' it's either birth or a massive bodily function failure. The latter usually leaves an aroma.

"Houndeye," says Shephard. "I forget. You ever met my dog?"

"No, no I don't think I ever did."

Shephard's not about to go disturb a nursing momma, even if he raised her by hand from a puppy himself. He took pictures of Mrs. Wilson a while ago, though, a couple before taking her to Australia and a few during the pregnancy so he'd have an idea what to expect if he bred her again. He's got one of the 'before' pictures on him now, so that's what he digs out of a pocket and passes over for inspection.

... The helmet stares at the photo for a moment before raising and canting to the side at Shephard.

"...dude. Explains why you weren't out yesterday evening."

"Ain't been real clear on just when she was gonna pop," says Shephard. "Figured I'd better stick close to home, just in case. And then she up'n whelps on me when I ain't even awake."

"Yeah, talk about timing." Moon Shadow just shakes his head. "I was wondering why I didn't see you two nights ago..."

"Guess what I finally got working."

"Big, shiny, looks like it wants t'fight a man in a rubber suit over who gits to stomp Tokyo?"

"Yup, and roared fit to make the giant squids in the lake lose all their ink."

...okay, it's hard to say that line and not cackle, forgive him.

"Shit. I'd'a paid good fuckin' money to see that, iffen I still had money," says Shephard. "You better show off somethin' serious before we git to my world. Ain't like I ain't likely t'have time t'see it, my fuckin' door's gone."