milliways_bar | (no subject)

Anya looks at him. "And where would you find babies to adopt here?"

"There's one that walks around sometimes," Warren huffs. "I've talked to it."

"Oh, you mean that little baby who was crying last night? I think she belongs to someone."

Anya lifts an eyebrow. "And you can't go randomly picking babies."

"I don't. I'm not going to. I'm just saying," he protests.

"And what do you need a baby for, anyway?"

Now it's Anya's turn to almost flail.

"What? I don't need a baby. They're just... cute, that's all. And I never had the chance to have any with Xander."

"They're not cute, they're all...small...and vulnerable and needy and loud. And you have to...take care of them."

Warren wrinkles his nose.

"Well, yes, I suppose they can be all that. But they're also cute!"

Anya nods, for this is a fact.

"How about the baby you've talked to? Isn't she cute?"

Warren shrugs.

"I dunno. It's a baby. It bites."

"It didn't bite me. It did cling to my leg, but didn't bite."

Warren nods.

"It bit my robot."

Anya blinks. "Another robot? Haven't you learned your lesson about robots?"

Warren rolls his eyes.

"It's a robot of me. And there is no lesson about robots. Except for maybe the one about 'Don't try to treat them like humans, or you'll confuse them and trigger their combat mode'."

"And also, 'don't make one of the Slayer, cause it causes nothing but confusion and mental images'?"

"Okay, I didn't want to do that," Warren protests, "He made me. I was totally out of the, uh, fembot business."

"How did he make you? Spike had a chip in his brain, he wouldn't have been able to hurt you."

Warren blinks.

"That's what that did? I mean, so...what it made it so he couldn't...vamp-out, or whatever? Because, you know, you all could have made that common knowledge and saved a guy a lot of trouble. Because he still threatened just fine."

"Oh, he could still vamp-out. He would do it to try to scare people. He did it to me a couple of times, trying to get money. He just couldn't hurt you, else he got his brain zapped."

"Well I didn't know that!" Warren snaps, irritably. He folds his arm. You can bet he feels stupid. Do you think he likes it?

"You could have asked."

"Oh, asked who?" Warren asks, sarcastically. "Buffy?"

He adopts a high pitched whine that, truthfully, sounds a bit like Andrew.

"Oh, Buffy, I really need to talk to you about something important because that went so well the last time I did that, and by the way, not that I have any reason to think so, but is it at all possible that the vampire who keeps saying he's going to do horrible stuff to my mom and me if I don't do what he says is lying?"

He drops the voice.

"I don't think so."

Anya blinks. "Okay, okay, you don't have to freak out about it."

"By the way, nice Andrew impression."

"Well, you know, you spend a lot of time with a person...

I mean, I'm not freaking out, I'm just...you cannot blame me for the Buffybot. That's all."

Anya takes a drink of her coffee, which is getting cold.

"Okay. I won't blame you for the Buffybot though. Actually, I kind of liked it. It asked me about my money."

"Yeah, that was in the programming specs," Warren tells her.

Anya nods. "The Buffybot did come in handy the summer that Buffy died, though."