Multi-pup post

[shufti]

"I do not care whether they need doing." Shufti is saying to the grimy youth sitting on the bar. "You cannot cut your toenails on the bar."

"But you see." Vyvyan says. "If I don't cut them, things grow underneath them."

"Then cut them outside." Shufti says. "And take your... living socks with you."

She gestures to the socks, which have escaped and are making a bid for freedom across the room. Then confiscates the scissors and waits at the bar while he slopes over to find them.


You should be able to see the green steam coming off them, or smell them coming...

[ooc: In Vyvyan's world, inanimate objects can temporarily take on a puppet-like appearance. The socks look like regular socks, wriggle like worms, and can talk. Have fun!]

Comments

[ostro_goth]

Teja has been watching them from where he has been playing his guitar by the fireplace, remembering what Belar had said.

Avatar of some God of Pestilence? More likely, he things, watching the socks walk away.

But it seems that so far, Shufti has said avatar well under control.

[vyvyan]

There may be a shock for Teja...

As Shufti impales one of the socks on her sword, some underpants appear to be crawling up his leg.

Vyvyan doesn't make much effort to catch up with his underwear.

[ostro_goth]

Teja barely manages not to squeal.

Instead, he draws his sahs and plunges it into the infinitely offensive -- object.

[vyvyan]

"Oi! Stop it!" the underpants yell.

"You're bloody paying for those!" Vyvyan yells too. "I've only got three pairs of knickers, so those have had to make do three hundred and forty times since the last wash."

[ostro_goth]

"These are dangerous demon spawn," Teja says.

[shufti]

"Disgusting man!" Shufti exclaims, coming to rescue Teja. "Why do you not wash your clothes? Even my little boy can load a washing machine!"

"Haven't got a washing machine." Vyvyan says.

"Then use the sink, like the rest of the world who cannot afford one." Shufti says. "How old are you?"

"Dunno, twenty?" Vyv says.

[ostro_goth]

"You can have those things washed here," Teja says.

Pause.

"But you must not strip in this place!" he hurries to add.

[vyvyan]

"Dunno how." Vyvyan says.

[ostro_goth]

"You take a room, then take off your clothes and give them to the staff," Teja says. "At least a normal man may do so, one that is not an avatar of some demon god of pestilence."

He somewhat suspects that the rats or loompas might refuse to touch Vyvyan Basterd's laundry.

[shufti]

"They won't come near." Vyvyan says. "And I've got no money."

"Perhaps that could be subsidised." Shufti says.

"Also, soon as I change scenes, they'll be dirty again." Vyv replies.

[ostro_goth]

"Do we have a fund for especially hard cases?" Teja asks Shufti.

There must be petty cash somewhere about the Security office, that would pay for cleaning dangerously dirty patrons?

[shufti]

"I'm not sure. Perhaps it would be easier to purchase him clean clothes this one time."

[ostro_goth]

"But he is still dirty underneath," Teja muses. "And where would we burn the old clothes?"

[vyvyan]

Vyvyan starts to take off the rest of his clothes... which flee.

[ostro_goth]

"You must not be naked here!" Teja says, alarmed.

[vyvyan]

"You started it." Vyvyan grins.

It'd be worth doing cell time, he reckons, to see Teja's face on having to deal with him naked. He takes off the trousers, and given he has nothing left on underneath, bares all.

"Who's gonna wash me first?"

[ostro_goth]

"We shall arrest you for nudity, and hose you down in the cell," Teja says.

[vyvyan]

"Got to touch me first." Vyvyan sniggers.

Shufti considers hitting him over the head with a chair.

[ostro_goth]

"Do it, Shufti!" Teja says. "I would not hold my axe to his skin; it might corrode."

[shufti]

Shufti hurls the chair at Vyvyan's head. It breaks, but he doesn't even flinch.

"On the other hand, the hot chick can arrest me." Vyvyan says.

[ostro_goth]

Teja gets a large burlap sack from the bar and hands it to Shufti, so she may put it over him and will not need to touch him, or see his nudity.

[vyvyan]

Oh this is way too much fun.

Vyvyan stands on a chair, putting his manparts level with Teja, and challenging the under five foot tall Shufti to get that sack on.

"He regenerates, right?" Shufti asks, getting her crossbow out.

[ostro_goth]

"Indeed," Teja says, "I think I once hewed off one of his arms."

[vyvyan]

"You shoot me, bodily fluids will go everywhere. Anyway, you said you were going to clean me." Vyvyan says.

"Fine. Get out into the garden so we can hose you." Shufti says. "If you cannot keep on your knickers, as you call them, you can be cleaned in the yard like a farmyard creature."

[ostro_goth]

"Belar suspected, jokingly, that he may be an avatar of some demon god of pestilence," Teja says.