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Some time after the party, out in the garden, a small tent has been set up. In front of it, Guppy is attempting to light a small campfire, while the kids watch.

It should be a good practice run for when they go camping for real, in a couple of days. That is, if Guppy can actually get the fire lit.

"I've nearly got it, it's just a bit damp." he says, as Fry announces he's used his thirty eighth match.

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"Hey, guys. What's processing?"

"We're camping!" Coral says.

"Hey Enzo, we're just practicing." Guppy says. "We can't afford to go far this year so we're going for the weekend, and we wanted to iron out any teething problems before we were stuck in the middle of a field."

Nod.

"So how's that going?"

"Can't we just plug it in?" Fry asks, looking at the fire.

"Campfires don't have plugs."

"And even if it did, there's no electricity on camp." Guppy says.

"Then how will we watch television?" Fry asks.

"We won't be watching television on camp." Guppy says. "You watch far too much television as it is."

Enzo inspects the camp-not-yet-fire. "What's the trouble?"

"It's a bit damp." Guppy says, putting some more kindling in.

Fry in the meantime gets up and starts flapping his hands a bit

Enzo considers this.

"Mind if I try something?"

"Go for it." Guppy says. "Though I need to be able to do it before we go away."

Fair point. Still, he's curious to see if this works.

He leans over the pile of damp wood and spits on it. Where his spittle lands, sparks erupt.

"Yay Enzo!" Coral shouts.

"No telly!" Fry wails.

He's not sure if it's enough to get the whole fire going, but some of the drier tinder catches, at least. He crouches down to high-five Coral.

He's not sure how to comfort Fry, though.

"Fry, we've been through this; we have to cut down how much television you watch. It's just for three days, and we'll record Tiger Time." Guppy says.

Coral high fives back.

"There'll be plenty to do while you're camping," Enzo tells Fry.

He assumes so, anyway. It's not exactly a common pastime at home.

"Fry, you can't stick to the same routine all the time." Guppy says gently, as his son continues to flap his hands. "Just like how school has holidays. We're going to have a lot of fun with nature, you like nature."

"Yeah. You know all sorts of things about animals."

"Can I take maths?" Fry asks.

"Why do you want to take maths on holiday?" Guppy asks.

"Because it's fun and no matter where you are it's always the same." Fry says.

This is a truth!

"Don't spend the whole time doing math, though," Enzo suggests. "Or there's no point in going camping."

"Okay, you can take maths, but you can't do more than half an hour a day." Guppy says.

This is a weird conversation, he reckons. Though he shouldn't be surprised, given he once found Fry doing maths at 4am, having smuggled a book out of school.

To each his own.

Enzo spits a couple more times on the fire, hoping to get a few more tongues of flame going.

"How does that work?" Fry asks, distracted by the sparkly.

"You remember I can't eat the same food as you?"

"Because it would make you short circuit?" Fry asks.

"Right. Or if you ate my food, you'd get electrocuted. Same thing here. When my spit hits the water on the wood, it goes zap."

Fry considers this.

"What if you sneeze?"

Grin. "It shouldn't spark unless I sneeze on something wet."

"Isn't bogey wet?" Fry asks.

"Yeah, but it'd have to hit something else wet. Otherwise it'd just sit there and be gross."

"Anyway, I have to be able to light a real fire when we get out there, or we're eating cold tinned food." Guppy says. "But for now we can practice looking after the fire and getting it ready for cooking... Fry, don't spit please, it's dirty and it won't catch fire. You too Coral."

Coral stops mid-spit and gets it down her chin. She wipes it on her Peppa Pig toy, which gives Guppy a mental note to confiscate it for the washing machine soon.

"Yeah, I was kind of being a bad influence there. It worked, though!"

Slightly. No more than a match would do under normal circumstances. Which is good, in this context.

"Why do we have spit?" Fry asks.

"It's to help you eat your food." Guppy says. "Makes it easier to swallow. And it also helps break it up into little bits ."

"You need it to taste, too, right?"

This knowledge is less due to extensive scientific research than to the personal discoveries of a boy making his own entertainment.

"I think you can taste without spit but it won't taste as nice." Guppy says.

"Right, if you let your tongue dry out it'll go to low power."

"Er, yeah. And also it just feels bad." Guppy says.

"Well, yeah."

See: making your own entertainment.

"Then why is it dirty?" Fry asks.

"Because it's like if you leave food out, if you leave spit out germs grow on it." Guppy says, reckoning Fry isn't quite ready for the 'your mouth is full of germs' explanation.

Enzo deems it sensible to hold his tongue there, yes.

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