A Foolish thing by a Foolish Fool

[forgottenmotley]

Sometimes, when you're the Fool, you just have the urge to do something completely and utterly ridiculous. Something so utterly bizarre that people can't help but wonder what the hell is going on. Why is he doing such a foolish thing?

Such an urge has over come the Fool now.

Which is why he's having a spirited conversation with a stack of napkins.

These aren't the napkins that occasionally appear on the Bar.

It's just a stack of napkins.

Comments

[death_gone_mad]

There's someone eavesdropping on the conversation.

Actually, she's not on the eaves at all, or hiding under them, or dropping anything either.

[forgottenmotley]

Apparently they're discussing the merits of cow control. The Fool says something to the napkins and then waits as if listening to a reply. Then he answers back.

He doesn't seem to notice Amascut at all.

[death_gone_mad]

Well, that is just fine with her. She orders a glass of mulled wine from tonight's bartender (Who reminds her too much of Het to carry anything resembling a pleasant conversation with) and continues listening. Who knows, something interessting can come up in a conversation between a Fool and a pile of napkins.

[forgottenmotley]

"Do you have anything to add?" the Fool asks abruptly, turning to look at her.

[death_gone_mad]

Well that was unexpected.

"Nope, I know nothing about cow control," she admits. Falsely. If humans are easy for her, then what are cows?

"I know about their anatomy, but I am no cow surgeon, either." What are cows? seems like a silly question now.

He may notice that the thumb on her drinking hand is bandaged.

[forgottenmotley]

For her, maybe, not for him. He's been aware of her the entire time.

"That's too bad, it supposed to be very difficult, at least that's what they say, but then again they've never seen a cow so what do they know? I mean I've herded a few cows in my time and it wasn't too bad." He blinks briefly. "What happened to your thumb? Did it get bitten by a sponge?"

He's really on weird mode today.

[death_gone_mad]

"I wouldn't trust what napkins have to say about cowherding; it is not their field of expertise. Cows have had most of their brains bred out, so it is relatively easy, I would think."

Contemplating her thumb she answers his question about it. "I cut it on a sword. I wanted to find out how sharp it was."

[forgottenmotley]

He tilts his head, looking at the napkins. "Well, not all of what you have to deal with is shit."

Then. "Was it sharp enough?"

[death_gone_mad]

"I'd say so. The person who brought it in claimed he worked nine years on it while drunk on brandy. He also claims it was the first sword ever made."

[herr_bookman]

So there's a man here, talking to a pile of napkins. Huh. It's not the strangest thing Autor has seen at Milliways. In fact, he's actually kind of surprised more people don't end up having conversations with napkins, given the prevalence of the notion of a living, female countertop.

Autor almost asks if he can have one of the Fool's paper products so he can wipe his runny nose, hut no. He'd better avoid the napkin charmer. The madness might be catching.

[forgottenmotley]

The Fool does notice him and he tilts his head in such a way that his face is kept in shadow and his eyes glow just briefly.

"Yes? Do you have anything to add?"

[herr_bookman]

Not really, he thinks.

"I haven't been paying attention to the topic," he says, and sniffs to prevent snot from marring his upper lip in a manner most undignified.

Oh, he thinks again, and sits down. I'm more curious than I thought, apparently.

[forgottenmotley]

"I suppose most people wouldn't find it very interesting. I mean, it is about cows."

He notices the sniffling and pulls a handkerchief from a pocket and offers it.

[herr_bookman]

Autor blinks at the cloth, and then nods gratefully before producing his own. He didn't need a napkin for his nose, really. He just wanted to see what the Fool would do if he asked.

"I wouldn't think napkins would know a great deal about them."

[forgottenmotley]

Probably given him one.

After all they are just napkins.

"Not really. They seem to think that brown cows create chocolate milk." He gives the stack a glare.

How now brown cow?

[herr_bookman]

Autor blinks again. This really is getting a bit too surreal, even for him. He thinks it might be because he's dealt with a great many delusions from other people, but never with such a mundane manifestation.

He wipes his nose again.

"Have you asked them where they think they come from?"

:P

[forgottenmotley]

However, is the Fool actually delusional or just acting according to his nature. After all getting someone to seriously discussing a subject supposedly suggested by napkins is fairly foolish.

"The napkins? No. I can't say I have, however they're right there and it's rude to talk about people in front of them."

[poins]

"Those must be magic, and tell thee what to do?" asks one that has got Napkins thrice before.

[forgottenmotley]

"Nay, they not be." He's going to completely butcher any attempts to speak in the same way as Poins, but he honestly doesn't care. "Just regular napkins. But very opinionated."

[poins]

"How would they speak to thee without their magic?" Poins asks.

[forgottenmotley]

He shrugs. "They refuse to say."

[poins]

"And what, pray, do they tell thee?" Poins asks.

[forgottenmotley]

"We've been discussing cows and the management of the beasties. They seem to have all sorts of horrible opinions on the matter. Why they even suggested feeding them brains was a good idea!"

[poins]

"The cows? The napkins? What?" Poins says, confused.

[forgottenmotley]

"The napkins think that the cows should be fed brains."