milliways_bar | (no subject)

Some time ago for romantic purposes Karkat came into possession of a large holographic video display. He has been nursing an idea for a while, but the weather outside in mock-Scotland has been too grotesque to make it feasible.

Tonight, however, the grotty mist has finally stopped and when Karkat rises with the moon he discovers weather that is almost practically tolerable, especially once he deploys a firepit and spreads a tarp over the damp ground.

He fiddles with the projector a bit, finally managing to project the king-sized screen he wants over the lake. The first romcom he cues up is Pretty Woman, and he grunts with satisfaction as he plops himself into an stuffed husk he hauled down from his room and the familiar opening begins to unfold.

Welcome to the drive-in. The second film in the triple feature will be Grosse Pointe Blank, followed by My Best Friend's Wedding.

[OPEN THREAD! Feel free to use the setting with or without tagging Karkat, he will out here all night marathoning cheesy romantic comedies. Feel free to suggest movies that will follow Pretty Woman, and I will update this post with a list of the ones this cranky sumbitch has approved that people can reference playing.]

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"UH, NO? DO THESE PEOPLE LOOK LIKE TROLLS?"

"Okay... so troll movies are more realistic, then?"

Karkat makes an incredulous experession. "YEAH I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ANSWER THAT, SINCE I HAVE ZERO EXPERIENCE AS EITHER AN ADULT HUMAN OR AN ADULT TROLL."

You might as well ask someone who has never been out of the desert if this picture of a snowman is more realistic than that picture of an icicle.

"So you're just gonna assume that they're realistic portrayals of interpersonal relationships."

"HOLY FUCK."

Karkat pinches the bridge of his nose, seething between his teeth. "WHAT I AM GOING TO ASSUME IS THAT EVERYONE I COULD EVER ASK ABOUT THE SUBJECT IS GODDAMN DEAD, SO IT IS UP TO ME TO SCRAPE THE RESIDUE FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE CULTURAL BARREL TO TRY AND RECONSTRUCT EVEN THE VAGUEST PICTURE OF A WORLD THAT IS, TO REPEAT MYSELF, COMPLETELY AND IRREVOCABLY FUCKING DEAD."

He is furious enough to be nearly vibrating, but grinding his teeth to try and keep hold. "JUST LIKE YOU."

Alyx flinches like she's been slapped.

"I'm sorry."

And now it's Karkat's turn to reel, just a little bit. He exhales between his teeth, slowly and carefully, trying to breath.

For a moment he seems to relax, and then his hands creep back up to his face and his hair, knotting. Sometimes the anger seems to sleep, even for days at a time, and then it LANDS on him like this, throttling his better judgment and dropping him to the bottom of a well; red-lined tunnel vision. And the constant companion of the rage, the guilt and self-loathing.

He sinks back into the husk and grapples for control; for words, mostly. "I USED TO GET INTO THESE ARGUMENTS WITH MY BUDDY SOLLUX," he says, in a tight low voice addressed apparently at his shins. "REALLY... STUPID ONES. AND I WOULD... AT THE END I WOULD ALWAYS GET PARANOID AND I WOULD SAY...

'ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF THE THINGS I SAID?'

AND HE WOULD LAUGH AT ME." He clears his throat.

"CAN WE... CAN WE JUST BE COOL?"

"Yeah."

She nods, not meeting his eyes.

"Yeah. It's... sorry."

God, she feels like shit.

"WE'RE COOL," he says, and repeats it. "WE'RE COOL."

It makes him think, suddenly, of another human movie he's watched.

We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like?

Come on, Yolanda, what's Fonzie like?!

"WHAT THE FUCK IS A FONZIE?" He is surprised as anybody that he said that outloud.

Well, a complete non-sequitur is as good a way as any to get Alyx out of her funk.

"I... what?"

Her reaction, in terms, snaps Karkat out of an interior landscape fully as dark and grisly as the Land of Pulse and Haze. He shakes his head slowly as he speaks. "YEAH I REALLY DON'T KNOW... WHAT THE FUCK I WAS THINKING ABOUT JUST THEN."

He feels shaky and drained, but the rage-storm seems to have passed off. At least for now.

Alyx shakes her head. "If that's a human thing, it's a human thing I don't know about."