milliways_bar | (no subject)

Some time ago for romantic purposes Karkat came into possession of a large holographic video display. He has been nursing an idea for a while, but the weather outside in mock-Scotland has been too grotesque to make it feasible.

Tonight, however, the grotty mist has finally stopped and when Karkat rises with the moon he discovers weather that is almost practically tolerable, especially once he deploys a firepit and spreads a tarp over the damp ground.

He fiddles with the projector a bit, finally managing to project the king-sized screen he wants over the lake. The first romcom he cues up is Pretty Woman, and he grunts with satisfaction as he plops himself into an stuffed husk he hauled down from his room and the familiar opening begins to unfold.

Welcome to the drive-in. The second film in the triple feature will be Grosse Pointe Blank, followed by My Best Friend's Wedding.

[OPEN THREAD! Feel free to use the setting with or without tagging Karkat, he will out here all night marathoning cheesy romantic comedies. Feel free to suggest movies that will follow Pretty Woman, and I will update this post with a list of the ones this cranky sumbitch has approved that people can reference playing.]

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For a minute there he thought he'd figured it out, but... no. "OK, WELL, THEN WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU COME IN? I MEAN, IF YOU AREN'T A HALF-BREED AND YOU AREN'T HALF-CONVERTED THEN HOW THE HELL CAN YOU BE HALF-MONSTER?"

Oh, right!

"I was human," she says. "I became half a monster when I took in the flesh and blood of a yoma to become the creature I am now."

The mental picture that springs to mind is if one of the trolls had self-prototyped for tier 2, merging themselves with their custodian in the kernelsprite. The way Aradia had become half-frog ghost, only with, say, the armor and pincers and extra eyes of his own lusus.

It's probably not very relevant--she LOOKS superficially human--but that's what he's imagining.

"HUH. ON PURPOSE? LIKE... FOR KICKS?"

People have done stranger things.

Edited 2013-03-17 02:48 (UTC)

"Not by my own choice," she admits.

And her smile stays fixed, but it doesn't really show any true amusement anymore. Just indifference.

"The only way humans have of fighting yoma is to create half-yoma warriors. And the best candidates for that process are young girls."

"OHHHH." There isn't any particular shock, but neither is there any particular approval. Just... ohhhh.

"DO YOU GET A LOT OF WEIRD SHITTY PITY FROM PEOPLE AROUND HERE OVER THAT?"

"No."

She doesn't really tell them that. Because no one asks.

"Why should they care about that?"

The only people who understands what Claymores are, do, have been through - is other Claymores. She expects nothing from anyone else.

"WELL, BECAUSE IT'S CLEARLY FUCKING AWFUL, AND HUMANS CAN BE INCREDIBLY INSENSITIVE ABOUT FORCING PEOPLE TO ATTEND THEIR GLURGEY SYMPATHY PARTIES."

"I MEAN, NOT THAT THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH SYMPATHY, IN ITS PLACE, BUT HUMANS SEEM TO THINK THAT THE ACT OF THEM HAVING SYMPATHY FOR SOME BAD SHIT THAT HAPPENED TO YOU MEANS THAT THEY SHOULD SHARE IT WITH YOU, REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER VERY CLEAR SIGNALS YOU'RE SENDING. AND THEN IF YOU DON'T LIKE HAVING A BUNCH OF A LUKEWARM PITY SLOPPED OVER YOU, YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE."

"I think you might be talking more about you than me," Teresa remarks, because stating the obvious is sometimes a thing.

"No one gives me pity. Maybe they care more about you than me."

He looks less human than she does, but on the other hand he probably doesn't go around boasting about how he could kill anyone in the place if he wanted to.

No, he's definitely done some of that.

"I DON'T THINK THAT'S IT." It's not the awkward dismissal of someone who doesn't want the other to feel bad or left out; it's a reflexive and flat denial of the idea that more than a fistful of people care about him. "I DON'T THINK IT'S REALLY ABOUT CARING ABOUT ME AT ALL, MOST OF THE TIME. IT IS ABOUT THEM HEARING ABOUT SOME FUCKED UP SHIT AND HAVING THIS UNEASY PRESSURE IN THEIR EMPATHY BLADDER, SO THEY VENT IT ALL OVER ME."

"IT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ADULT AND CARRY AROUND A GIANT BADASS SWORD. YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE GOT THINGS HANDLED."

Edited 2013-03-17 15:13 (UTC)

"Maybe," Teresa says, cheerfully. She does carry around a giant badass sword, after all. And while her armor, she could take or leave, a warrior's Claymore is not as easy to give up.

"Maybe you should carry a weapon, and see if that stops it."

Karkat scoffs. "ALL RIGHT, FIRST OFF LET'S CORRECT A GROSS MISAPPREHENSION, I AM ALWAYS AND AT ALL TIMES CARRYING A FUCKTON OF SICKLES, JUST TUCKED UP IN MY STRIFE SPECIBUS WHERE YOU CAN'T SEE THEM."

"THAT SAID MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, MAYBE IT WOULD BE WORTH THE WEAR AND TEAR ON MY WRIST TO KEEP ONE DRAWN AT ALL TIMES."

"What is a strife specibus?"

Teresa focuses on the important thing.

"IT'S A KEY COMPONENT OF ANY ADVANCED INVENTORY MANAGEMENT SOLUTION," Karkat says, with a weary eyeroll. There's not a lot of energy behind it, because this is something literally no one ever understands.

"MY SYLLADEX LETS ME STORE AND RETRIEVE OBJECTS IN A DECK OF LITTLE PORTABLE CARDS, WHICH IS HANDY AS FUCK, BUT THERE IS GENERALLY A LOT OF TIME-WASTING NONSENSE INVOLVED IN GETTING OBJECTS IN AND OUT OF THE CARDS. THE STRIFE SPECIBUS LETS YOU DESIGNATE ONE TYPE OF OBJECT THAT YOU CAN STORE AND RETRIEVE AT WILL."

Something like a green CGI shutter flickers open and closed in the air behind Karkat's hand, and he snatches a matte-black cold iron sickle with a gleaming edge out of it. It is smooth, business-like and undecorated, except for a cross-shaped flange at the base of the ebony handle, like the crown of a chess king. "I PICKED SICKLES."

Edited 2013-03-17 15:31 (UTC)

Teresa tilts her head at the device, curious because it radiates no aura of anything she can detect.

At the sickle, she just smiles with approval. "Maybe if you carried that visibly?"

Maybe she could get one of those things for carrying her sword in when going to worlds where the carrying of swords is not an option?

(The regisickle doesn't have any magical powers per se, except for possibly a bonus to beheadings against royalty and agents.)

"MAYBE," he says. "I DON'T KNOW, IT'S NOT JUST A MATTER OF BEING INTIMIDATING AT FIRST SIGHT, THOUGH, PEOPLE ALREADY MISTAKE ME FOR A DEMON HALF THE TIME. IT'S HOW PEOPLE REACT ONCE THEY HEAR THE BACKSTORY. I HAVE JUST LEARNED TO BE CAGEY ABOUT SHIT AND DRAW CLEAR BOUNDARIES."

"It's no one's business anyway," Teresa says, clearly agreeing with this tactic.

But she might also offer up her backstory to the next person who seems likely, just to see if she gets random pity. She's not sure she wants it, but it's worth an experiment.

"IT WAS JUST TRICKY AT FIRST, BECAUSE LIFE ON EARTH MOSTLY SEEMS TO BE SO DIFFERENT FROM THE WAY IT WAS ON ALTERNIA ANYWAY. WHICH IS OBVIOUSLY GREAT FOR THEM, DON'T GET ME WRONG, BUT IT'S JUST LIKE..."

"YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT SOME PERFECTLY NORMAL THING, AND THEN SOMEBODY FROM, LIKE, MAGICAL FRUITY PONYLAND GETS THIS LOOK ON THEIR FACE LIKE, HOLY SHIT. AND YOU REALIZE, OH YEAH, THAT IS ACTUALLY PRETTY MUCH COMPLETELY ATROCIOUS, I'M JUST USED TO IT. AND IF YOU HAD KNOWN THEY WERE GOING TO FLIP THEIR SHIT YOU WOULD'VE JUST AVOIDED THE TOPIC, BUT YOU CAN'T BECAUSE THE WORLD HAS REEKED FOR SO LONG THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN SMELL IT ANYMORE. YOU CAN ONLY TELL WHICH THINGS ARE SHOCKING ANYMORE BY WHAT SHOCKS PEOPLE WHEN YOU TELL ABOUT IT."

"DOES THAT MAKE SENSE?"

Teresa considers it.

"Yes," she says. "I suppose."

She doesn't know if she wants to think about how awful her life is. She lived it already.